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Quality joke thread!

Did you hear the one about the stupid dwarf who got beaten up?

It's not big, it's not hard and it's not clever.
 
InertProtocol said:
About six months ago, myself and a few friends were off to Alton Towers for a lads day out.

On the way we had to stop for petrol so my mate pulled into the garage and started to put Diesel into the tank. Now this being his girlfriends car he forgot it took unleaded. Upon realising his mistake he whipped out the diesel pump which caused some of it to splash up his arm.

He then filled up with the unleaded, paid and we were on our way.

Five minutes later he sparks up a cigarette causing his arm to catch fire! - Winding down the window he puts his arm out to try and blow out the flames.

Literally seconds later the blue lights and sirens were behind us, pulled us over and arrested our driver!

What for?
















Posession of a firearm :D

Only joke i can properly remember! Ha ha!
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Massively sadly, I read this and my first thought was; that wouldn't happen, as you cannot light diesel like you can petrol, it combusts under heat and pressure. FML
 
Some random woman stopped me in the street today and started telling me a joke. It had all the ingredients of a good joke: child abuse; incestual rape; tears and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline. Something about £2 a month?
 
Eames said:
The acting career of Ice Cube.
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fear of a black planet and nation of millions mean he could pursue a career as a parking attendant and still be cooler than 99.99% of the worlds population.


my terrible contribution:

Jeremy Beadle won't be remembered for skills as magician.

Which is a pity because he had an excellent slight off-hand.
 
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