Question about cheating...

PiKe · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:42

I'd post on an internet forum about it.

MooMoo444 · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:43

cm1179 said:
i'd keep out of it

Vonhelmet · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:43

Maximum Triceratops said:
Think of the Children!

That's my quandary... If he's going to do it again, and again, and again, then she's best to know ASAP and to get out of it.

I think I'd be putting some pressure on him to own up at the very least, and if he didn't I'd probably tell her.

Mat · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:44

Spunkey said:
Exactly what I thought.

If you can't commit to someone after 14 years, then whats the point?

Not every couple needs to get married or sees marriage as the pinnacle of a relationship.

2StepSteve · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:45

If this guy is capable of doing once who is to say he won't again? This might not be the first time he has had an affair.

I feel for the unknowing people/family in these situations as they are the ones that get caught up in it all.. their life and what they know is not real. It is so damn deceitful.

I know though if god forbid I was in this situation and my gf was cheating on me I would want to know.

I'm not sure what I would do if I was in your friends situation, a part of me would want to tell her. Not out of spite or revenge but out of the truth and that she deserves to know the truth.

Cosimo · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:46

I’d mind my own business.

EddScott · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:49

mcast said:
Would you tell the wife of the married guy? they have 2 young kids,

No. Adults turning each other over is one thing, children being involved makes it far more complicated.

The guy may well do it again - or indeed keep doing it with your mans (now) ex. Destroying those two kids lives out of spite and revenge - that kind of behaviour to me is lower than cheating in the first place.

Dj_Jestar · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:50

My Father cheated on my Mother several times. She has said since their divorce and break up that she'd have been better off not knowing.

And a similar story with a different outcome: My mother's friend's husband passed away, and the widow later found a letter from a secret lover. She was actually relieved that he took it to the grave.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss, I guess.

JBuk · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:50

sleep with his wife

evens then innit

SeeKified · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:51

If I was the wife, I'd want to know.

Participant · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:56

Does anyone think that we should all be polygamists? Shame that the human condition requires one doting lover, even if they turn out to be crap. Marriage is too complicated, if we all just accepted that anyone that wants to pook someone else should just go for it, the world would be a much easier (and more fun) place! I suppose the reality is that kids thrive from a stable parental relationship, not to say that the offspring of divorcees are all lunatics

.

That said I'm very happily married to my wonderful wife, if you're reading darling!

jp_bl_68 · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:56

Honestly, I don't know. In my current state of mind I'd probably say nothing.

Vonhelmet · 3 Jun 2011 at 13:59

Robbie G said:
Does anyone think that we should all be polygamists? Shame that the human condition requires one doting lover, even if they turn out to be crap. Marriage is too complicated, if we all just accepted that anyone that wants to pook someone else should just go for it, the world would be a much easier (and more fun) place! I suppose the reality is that kids thrive from a stable parental relationship, not to say that the offspring of divorcees are all lunatics .

That said I'm very happily married to my wonderful wife, if you're reading darling!

We appear to have evolved into a position whereby we favour life partners... We're not the only animals that do it, so it's not totally unusual from that perspective.

BigAndy87 · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:01

i would tell, as other people has said more out of being angry than anything else.

Participant · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:01

vonhelmet said:
We appear to have evolved into a position whereby we favour life partners... We're not the only animals that do it, so it's not totally unusual from that perspective.

It's certainly not unusual, I just wish that it was! Not for my sake, but people's in general.

mcast · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:03

Robbie G said:
That said I'm very happily married to my wonderful wife, if you're reading darling!

My friend would have said something similar last week (without the married bit of course)

WillyNelson · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:05

Would probably want to, yes. But what good would it do aside from making you feel like you have the moral highground for a while. Things get complicated when there's kids involved, believe me.

robgmun · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:06

SeeKified said:
If I was the wife, I'd want to know.

Participant · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:10

People always think they want to know, but left alone, the marriage might re-stabalise without his Mrs. and kids being any the wiser. Keep out of it imo, it can't help you and won't make you feel better in the long run.

Deleted member 77746 · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:14

This is what happenes when people play with fire. Out of anger and knowing the married bloke will get away with it yes I will tell his wife as it's not fair on her.

Out of good heart no I wouldn't tell her because there is children involved at could end up in a harder situation.

At the end of the day you play with fire you get burnt. There is no excuse for cheating.