Question about cheating...

britboy4321 · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:15

No, they'll hate you forever for making them feel bad.

Logic doesn't come into it

I told a girl who was a friend of mine of her cheating bloke's ways -- and she hated me, he hated me, and they got back together after a fight. They never forgave me, I was apparently 'a stirrer' which was unforgivable. In fact we just weren't friends again ever. It was amazing how much she hated me for telling her ... (screaming 'I was completely happy and then you do this Britboy!!!'). Women eh?

Just let it lie ...

Morgoth · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:16

I would only tell her if I had a bucket of popcorn handy for the ensuing aftermath.

jimmy321 · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:20

No way! it's been happening for more than 6 months, what harm can another 6 months do? Perhaps in time the thrill of having an affair will wear thin or they will fall out and end it, then he would be none the wiser.

If you tell your partly to blame for the outcome.

timmy85 · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:23

stitch him up. the ******* won't learn otherwise.

Mr Jack · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:25

Gilly said:
Probably, yes.

More through anger than any sense of morality though.

This, tbh. Just don't expect thanks.

vicisthebest · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:25

My mum was told about my dad's affair from the other woman's husband.

Broke up our home obviously but she's happier in the long run and is in a much happier marriage now, and so is dad (he married the woman he had the affair with and I love her to bits, even after what they did).

Having said that I was very young (only a few months old) so it didn't have such a devastating effect on me.

Maybe the fact that the affair has been found out by one party is enough to make the couple really think, about whether they want to tell the wife (and will do it sooner than later, before she finds out from your friend) or decide to end it. I don't think your friend should say anything.

krooton · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:29

Mat said:
Not every couple needs to get married or sees marriage as the pinnacle of a relationship.

Perhaps she secretly did, which is what prompted the affair.

If he liked it, he should have put a ring on it.

Efour · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:30

Revenge, yes i would. What an ******* he is. Sorry.

Yas786 · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:30

Gilly said:
Probably, yes.

More through anger than any sense of morality though.

Yep same here..

arknor · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:31

i'd tell her he ruined his marriage so dont feel guilty about it.

its upto her wether she pretends everything is normal or not

Marky · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:36

If I had been seeing the girl for 14 years - I think I would definitely tell the wife - Out of anger mostly

.Lethal · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:39

Yes I would tell her.

Mr^B · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:42

britboy4321 said:
No, they'll hate you forever for making them feel bad.

Logic doesn't come into it

I told a girl who was a friend of mine of her cheating bloke's ways -- and she hated me, he hated me, and they got back together after a fight. They never forgave me, I was apparently 'a stirrer' which was unforgivable. In fact we just weren't friends again ever. It was amazing how much she hated me for telling her ... (screaming 'I was completely happy and then you do this Britboy!!!'). Women eh?

Just let it lie ...

I had EXACTLY the same thing happen to me.

He was cheating, always cheating when out and about. I told her. She hated me. He beat me up. Never spoken to either of them since really. Although they aren't together now, for some reason what I did is the reason they split up...not the fact that he was banging anything with a hole...oh no...

Go figure.

PiKe · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:45

Mr^B said:
I had EXACTLY the same thing happen to me.

He was cheating, always cheating when out and about. I told her. She hated me. He beat me up. Never spoken to either of them since really. Although they aren't together now, for some reason what I did is the reason they split up...not the fact that he was banging anything with a hole...oh no...

Go figure.

Love is blind?

FARGO · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:46

Blackmail.

EdwardTeach · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:48

Deffinately yes. Think about if you were them, you wouldn't want to be living a lie.

unKn0wn · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:51

Gilly said:
Probably, yes.

More through anger than any sense of morality though.

This tbh. Then I'd sleep with his wife. Then make sure he and the ex knew. Then walk away smiling.

Yes, I'm really like that.

ntg · 3 Jun 2011 at 14:56

why not try to blackmail him first for money and then tell his wife

double profit???

EdwardTeach · 3 Jun 2011 at 15:04

britboy4321 said:
No, they'll hate you forever for making them feel bad.

Logic doesn't come into it

I told a girl who was a friend of mine of her cheating bloke's ways -- and she hated me, he hated me, and they got back together after a fight. They never forgave me, I was apparently 'a stirrer' which was unforgivable. In fact we just weren't friends again ever. It was amazing how much she hated me for telling her ... (screaming 'I was completely happy and then you do this Britboy!!!'). Women eh?

Just let it lie ...

Totally different situation. Op doesn't know the wife, therefore he doesn't need to worry about whether she will hate him.

There is a health issue as well. OP and the wife should both get themselves down the clinic and get tested for STD, people with multiple sexual partners are a serious health hazard. You have no way of knowing if it was either of the guilty parties first illicit liason.

Cleeecooo · 3 Jun 2011 at 15:05

arknor said:
i'd tell her he ruined his marriage so dont feel guilty about it.

This. It's worse that she finds out later IMO.
Really, it depends on the person