Question for you about old friends...

Not in a calculated way. My good mates will always be my good mates. Got a fair few friends that i know are bad news in various ways but i dont mind having the odd drink with them. Some people you just stop socialising with gradually.
 
I've never had to lose a proper friend, but then I'm a pretty good judge of character from the outset so I know fairly early on when something is not going to work.
 
I've lost many friends over the years due to them getting into serious relationships, not sure if it's right that I should be bothered about that or not tbh, perhaps I should just accept that they have them own life now but some of them were like brothers/sisters to me and to not really hear from them is a little annoying really, I just ignore them now if I see them, I can't be assed with fake pleasantries.
 
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I cut ties with one of my 'best' friends about 8 months ago, I had to do it and I haven't looked back. He had a chance to right his wrongs so to speak, and he didn't, so he had to go. Shame really and it upset me for ages. Apart from him I have just drifted apart from a lot of friends and I really don't have that many left, still it's probably better that way and I'm ready to move on from my current situation anyway.
 
When I was younger I remember feeling real sadness at letting go of a best friend I'd had all the way through primary school... To be honest she was becoming a very very different person to me, but it was a hard tie to break.

Now, since uni, people getting into relationships, and moving around the country etc - a lot of those I would have considered best friends - I rarely talk to. But, I know that whenever we see each other, nothing has changed. And I know we'd be there for each other, but must also accept that they may no longer be able to drop everything.

I have lots of good mates (mates verging on friends if you like) locally, but wouldn't put upon them unless I really had to - I think many of them would be happy to be there for me in dire straits but I don't wish to push that, hopefully I won't ever have to. My flatmate is one who I could truly rely on, however, as scatty as she is :) And the boyfriend automatically sits in best-friend status as he's already seen me bare my soul.

I do have one friend who I was close to while we lived together - mainly because she's so intense that you can't be her fairweather friend. Since living apart she's almost tried to keep a hold on me, and I've felt obligated to go on nights out I knew I wouldn't enjoy, because she'd throw a hissyfit if I didn't. Thankfully now she's realised that I don't enjoy myself and has stopped asking...
 
Yep lots, unfortunately with some people you have to know them for a while before you know what they are really like
 
I cut all contact with all my school/college mates back in 2001. I was treated like **** by a number of people during that time. All came to a head and I said stuff it before I went to uni. Met a lot of uni mates, then got very ill for about 5 months. Turns out most were fake mates and I cut contacts again. Come the end of uni I cut a load again. They were all half-mates of convenience for them.

I do sound mean as I read the above paragraph back, but my experiences of people have made me this way. I do try and open up but time and time again I've been proven right in being reserved with them as they attempt to backstab. Take it as one of life's lessons, once you have seen the real side of people then it's a lot easier to spot them. Then there are parties where everyone is invited bar you (like I'm going to remain mates after that) and you find out afterwards.

I take it all as a test of character really. The benefit of all this is that you will become self-sufficient and will have a better resolve to whatever life throws at you. Through all this it will give you an edge which is very useful.

It's not all doom and gloom here :) I do know a few mates that I feel I can trust explicitly, the rest to a point.

On the back of this rest it has reminded me to give one of my best mates a call :)
 
Nope.

I'm never that close to people or affected by them enough to warrant cutting people out completely. I'll drift away/apart from people though and have with loads of people from my past but not cut any of them off...one person I did cut off...but she was an ex and I then got chatting to her a couple of years later and we're fine now. :)

I've had people cut me off though and my view from that side of it is simply that if they don't want to know me that's their choice and problem, I have no problem with them, should they come back (as some have) I'll happily ignore any conflict and the reasons for not talking and be fine with them, if we then drift apart (again, some have) then that's no issue either, it happens. :)

I can understand why some people do cut others off though and do advise friends to cut all ties with people they class as friends that blatantly aren't, but it's often hard to see for them so they need an alternative view on things. :)
 
Grown apart from quite a few over the years, not often gone out of my way to create distance. I think usually if one person feels the friendship isn't what it used to be, the other usually feels the same way for the same reasons just seen from their perspective. Several friendships from uni were not destined to survive being sober, but no hard feelings.

Only person I have ever cut off was a guy I was friends with when I lived in the US - I brought him back to Europe for a holiday and realised what a redneck, numb-skull, dullard he was. He was totally out of his depth anywhere but in the deep south, where an IQ above 80 appears to be rare.

My girlfriend (now wife) realised that he was jealous of her in very gay way (in all the holiday photos he is looking at me in a bit of a pervy mode) and pretty unpleasant to her and all my UK/Euro mates. Before our trip he shot a hole in his floor with a magnum 44 and hit me in the knee (accidentally) with a hammer he was chucking around because he had lost one of his guns.

He was a gun nut pseudo intellectual hillbilly irritant and long story short he punched me in the face because I broke up a fight he started with a bouncer (who punched me too until he realised I wasn't looking for trouble!) and that was the final straw.

I just ignored him after that (until a personal tradgedy for him meant I was obliged to be pleasant for my final few weeks in the US) after which I did not give him the correct contatct details for me in the UK.
 
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