Quick joke
- Thread starter Aliboy
- Start date
best forum joke in monthsand another ....
Husband and wife are shopping in Tesco's when the man picks up a crate of Stella and sticks it into the trolley
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife
"They're on offer, only £10 for 12 cans", he says
"Put them back. We can't afford it," says the wife and they carry on shopping...
A few aisles later the woman picks up a £20 jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the man,
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," she says
The man replies... "SO DOES 12 CANS OF STELLA AND IT'S HALF THE BLOODY PRICE"
Paddy goes off to Oz to become a sheep farmer.
After 6 months his neighbour from the next farm comes round to see him and make sure all is well.
Paddy is walking across to the barn with a sheep under his arm when his neighbour pulls up in his truck
He shouts to Paddy "Ga'day Paddy are ya shearing"
Paddy shouts back "sod off and get your own. This baby's all mine"
After 6 months his neighbour from the next farm comes round to see him and make sure all is well.
Paddy is walking across to the barn with a sheep under his arm when his neighbour pulls up in his truck
He shouts to Paddy "Ga'day Paddy are ya shearing"
Paddy shouts back "sod off and get your own. This baby's all mine"
At school the teacher announced to the class they were having a vocabulary lesson. She then proceeded to ask "Who can use the word urinate in a sentence?"
Little Johnny raises his hand immediately, nearly jumping out of his seat. The teacher reluctantly calls on him, worried at what he might say.
Little Johnny states "Urinate, but if ya had bigger ****, you'd be a ten"
I really should stop huh?
Little Johnny raises his hand immediately, nearly jumping out of his seat. The teacher reluctantly calls on him, worried at what he might say.
Little Johnny states "Urinate, but if ya had bigger ****, you'd be a ten"
I really should stop huh?
Soldato
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Soldato
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LOL
And since you're about No. 7, can you drop me an email when you get a chance please hun?
And since you're about No. 7, can you drop me an email when you get a chance please hun?
Soldato
- Joined
- 15 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 15,788
- Location
- Outside in the bushes
Need more Jokes!!!! 
Associate
- Joined
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- 1,965
HAHA well good never heard that one
last one ....
A woman is in hospital getting a vaginal tuck as she thinks that it needs to be a bit more youthful and firm for her husband. When she comes round from the surgery she sees that there are 3 bunches of flowers at the side of her bed. They all have little cards attached to them so she picks up them up and asks the woman in the next bed if she could read them out to her. The woman in the next bed agrees to read them out.
"The first card is from your husband" she said. "He just wants you to know that he loves you very much for what you have done for him and he can't wait to try out your new vagina when you get home."
"The second card is from Mike the surgeon" she said. "He just wanted to say that everything went well and you've to look after yourself."
"Who's the other card from?" she asks.
"That's from Bob in the burns unit. He just wanted to thank you for his new ears."
Boom boom tish
DUUUUUDE!!.. funny.. but just.. ew..