Quite a weird one but can you change your attitude?

buckeejit

buckeejit

buckeejit

Soldato
Joined
14 Aug 2004
Posts
2,992
Well, it seems like my attitude over the past 2 years has become really bad. I'm nasty to people and really rude to people most days. I just say that I don't care and I can do/say whatever I feel like. I just have no desire to do anything and it feels as though I have no motivation.

I've lost all (yes, all) of my friends becasue of this.

I don't like the person I've turned into so I was wondering if anyone has been down this road before and managed to turn it around?
 
If you don't like the person you've turned into then you can either change your attitude to improve things or do nothing and let things progress. I've no personal experience of what you're talking about but I do believe that most of the time we can choose our attitude. If you don't want to change it then it's likely that the path you're on won't change.

Why are you nasty and rude?
 
Changing your attitude is a lot like losing weight. People will tell you it's easy and give you increasingly vague and unhelpful advice, and then get angsty with you when you point out it's not quite as straightforward as they suggest. Weve already seen a couple of examples of this in this thread.

Some of how you described your general thought patterns implies that you may be suffering from depression (i.e. lack of motivation and apathy towards the effect of your actions) - would you say that you've been feeling that troubled? If so, your best bet would be to seek advice from your doctor.
 
Of course you can change your attitude. It just takes a bit of effort and for you to think before you speak or act.

I used to be quite negative at work and decided I needed to change the way I was acting. It took a little while to get used to reacting differently to situations but now I feel less stressed and happier in my job because the little annoyancies don't bother me as much and I think I get on better with my colleagues as a result - not that I didn't get on with them before mind you.

Edit: After reading some of the above posts I'd like to point out that I don't suffer from depression and knew that my bad attitude was just coming from me being a miserable git. I wouldn't automatically assume the OP suffers from depression though and suggest he tries to alter his behaviour on his own before speaking to a GP. IMO they're too quick to diagnose people with depression these days.
 
Last edited:
Saundie said:
Some of how you described your general thought patterns implies that you may be suffering from depression (i.e. lack of motivation and apathy towards the effect of your actions) - would you say that you've been feeling that sort of trouble? If so, your best bet would be to seek advice from your doctor.
Click to expand...

Really? Just sounds like 'I'm going to pop to the doctors to reassure myself that it's not entirely my fault'. I refuse to believe that going to the doctors is the first, or remotely near the first, ports of call when somebody is alienating their friends or has a lack of motivation.
 
Yes you certainly can, but only you can change it. You can have people chuck all sorts of words at you but if your attitude stops those words going in effectively then it isn't going to help much.

Just stop and think from time to time, think about the things you say and do before do them. Aim to think positively even in rather negative situations, hard to start off which but once you get in to the swing of it you'll be a merry little chap :D
 
I know it sounds a bit sad but keep a diary or journal and write down what you need to change and what you have done to change.

I done this with work and have changed my attitude a hell of a lot. I just wrote down what I needed to work at and kept updating with any changes I had made.

You can change your attitude it will just take a little work.
 
Neutralmilk said:
I know it sounds a bit sad but keep a diary or journal and write down what you need to change and what you have done to change.

I done this with work and have changed my attitude a hell of a lot. I just wrote down what I needed to work at and kept updating with any changes I had made.

You can change your attitude it will just take a little work.
Click to expand...

This sounds like a good idea :)
 
Nitefly said:
Really? Just sounds like 'I'm going to pop to the doctors to reassure myself that it's not entirely my fault'. I refuse to believe that going to the doctors is the first, or remotely near the first, ports of call when somebody is alienating their friends or has a lack of motivation.
Click to expand...
It depends on the severity and duration of the problem, surely? If the OP genuinely has no motivation and genuinely has no friends left, then it implies a deeper rooted problem than just being a "miserable git". My point is, if you go to your GP and explain in more detail what's going on, they'll be able to advise you with strategies on resolving the issue. I know you're not trying to trivialise what could be a potential mental health issue, but not knowing the OP I can't begin to guess how deep these issues lie.

Anyway, I wasn't trying to imply that you should go to the doctor and say "Hay doc, I'm feeling blue, can you give me some citalopram to cure what ills me?". I'm just saying that doctors are there to help you deal with more than just physical illness.

buckeejit, do you have any hobbies or take part in any sports? Is there anything that interests you or catches your attention?

Edit: sorry Nitefly, while I quoted you in this post I'm not directing my response solely at you :)
 
Last edited:
Saundie said:
It depends on the severity and duration of the problem, surely? If the OP genuinely has no motivation and genuinely has no friends left, then it implies a deeper rooted problem than just being a "miserable git". My point is, if you go to your GP and explain in more detail what's going on, they'll be able to advise you with strategies on resolving the issue. I know you're not trying to trivialise what could be a potential mental health issue, but not knowing the OP I can't begin to guess how deep these issues lie.

Anyway, I wasn't trying to imply that you should go to the doctor and say "Hay doc, I'm feeling blue, can you give me some citalopram to cure what ills me?". I'm just saying that doctors are there to help you deal with more than just physical illness.
Click to expand...
Your comments are entirely reasonable, I appologise if I came accross as flippant :)
 
Saundie said:
buckeejit, do you have any hobbies or take part in any sports? Is there anything that interests you or catches your attention?

Edit: sorry Nitefly, while I quoted you in this post I'm not directing my response solely at you :)
Click to expand...

To be honest mate, no, not at the min. When I was younger, I trained to play tennis and I loved it. I'm not fit enough to do that anymore but yeah, I believe excercise releases toxins etc and can make you feel better so I'm going to try that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom