Random Acts of Kindness...

Chris01 · 8 Apr 2006 at 12:45

mmm, the most recent wasnt long ago. was walking down dyke road in brighton torwards BHASVIC college by seven dials (for those who know it) and these 2 japanese tourists waslking torwards me - they couldnt speak v.good english at all. I stopped to ask them if they knew where they were going and they couldnt really speak back lol. One handed me this mobile phone which i used where some guy picked up. I told him where we were etc and he came 5 minutes later.
That was my good deed for the day

Arcade Fire · 8 Apr 2006 at 12:46

Inquisitor said:
Ah, but then are you really doing it purely for the sake of doing something good, or to please yourself?

I have no hesitation in saying that it's almost entirely to make me feel better about myself

Inquisitor · 8 Apr 2006 at 12:48

Arcade Fire said:
I have no hesitation in saying that it's almost entirely to make me feel better about myself

That's ok then, as long as you know why you're doing it

lumocolor · 8 Apr 2006 at 12:53

Arcade Fire said:
I have no hesitation in saying that it's almost entirely to make me feel better about myself

Totally the wrong reason to be doing it tbh!! But hey the ends justify the means so keep making yourself feel good :rolleyes:

dirtydog · 8 Apr 2006 at 12:56

lumocolor said:
Totally the wrong reason to be doing it tbh!! But hey the ends justify the means so keep making yourself feel good

He's being honest, I don't see a problem with what he said. Few people do truly selfless things - most will get something in return, whether it be self satisfaction, approval or whatever.

Arcade Fire · 8 Apr 2006 at 12:58

lumocolor said:
Totally the wrong reason to be doing it tbh!! But hey the ends justify the means so keep making yourself feel good

So you're saying that I should stop being nice to people?

Matblack · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:00

Arcade Fire said:
So you're saying that I should stop being nice to people?

It would seem if your doing it for your own gratification its not as good according to lumocolor :/

Maybe its OK to be nasty to people to make yourself feel better?

MB

Inquisitor · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:17

It's a good question actually... is true altruism actually possible at all?

lumocolor said:
Totally the wrong reason to be doing it tbh!! But hey the ends justify the means so keep making yourself feel good

Can you honestly say with absolute certainty that you can do something for someone else out of true selflessness?

Not a challenge, just intended to get you thinking.

ScarySquirrel · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:19

fatiain said:
I always open doors and give up seats for ladies, old people and mothers with small children. But I was brought up to be a gentleman by my dad.

so you don't open doors for anyone else? lol

lumocolor · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:19

Arcade Fire said:
So you're saying that I should stop being nice to people?

Not at all! What I am saying is you should be doing it to help them out and not make yourself feel better!

Inquisitor said:
Can you honestly say with absolute certainty that you can do something for someone else out of true selflessness?

Not a challenge, just intended to get you thinking.

I would be lying if I said helping people didn't make me feel good, however this is not the reason why I do it! I feel perfectly fine about myself already so see no great need to help others for my own gratification.

Perhaps people that do things for others to make themselves feel better should question why they feel the need to do this???

fatiain · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:28

Inquisitor said:
It's a good question actually... is true altruism actually possible at all?

Can you honestly say with absolute certainty that you can do something for someone else out of true selflessness?

Not a challenge, just intended to get you thinking.

Yes, have kids. You would do anything for them, give up things for them, go hungry for them.... etc etc

ScarySquirrel said:
so you don't open doors for anyone else? lol

Nope I barge them through them

SidewinderINC · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:34

Andelusion said:
It does make you feel good and it's especially worth it when they show some appreciation.

but its irritating as hell when you dont get any appreciation for it! when you stand up for somebody that obviously should be sitting down on the bus (such as old people, pregnant people etc.) and they just sit down and dont say any words of thanks...

makes my blood boil and i would have rather just stayed sitting!

i mean, i dont get up just for the thanks etc. but they could at least show some gratitude :mad:

fatiain · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:39

SidewinderINC said:
but its irritating as hell when you dont get any appreciation for it! when you stand up for somebody that obviously should be sitting down on the bus (such as old people, pregnant people etc.) and they just sit down and dont say any words of thanks...

makes my blood boil and i would have rather just stayed sitting!

i mean, i dont get up just for the thanks etc. but they could at least show some gratitude

Say "Pardon?"

They will look :confused:

Then say "Oh, sorry I thought you said thanks that's all"

lumocolor · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:39

SidewinderINC said:
but its irritating as hell when you dont get any appreciation for it! when you stand up for somebody that obviously should be sitting down on the bus (such as old people, pregnant people etc.) and they just sit down and dont say any words of thanks...

makes my blood boil and i would have rather just stayed sitting!

i mean, i dont get up just for the thanks etc. but they could at least show some gratitude

It's only words! Who cares if they say thanks or not!!
Personally I get satisfaction from knowing I have taken the weight of their feet/made them feel happier/better...
And just because they don't 'say' thanks it doesn't mean their not grateful!!

SidewinderINC · 8 Apr 2006 at 13:41

fatiain said:
Say "Pardon?"

They will look

Then say "Oh, sorry I thought you said thanks that's all"

thats a good one, will have to try that

Burnsy2023 · 8 Apr 2006 at 14:59

Arcade Fire said:
I have no hesitation in saying that it's almost entirely to make me feel better about myself

I can't think of a time that i've done something totally selfless, theres always a selfish reason even if it is to make me happy that i've helped someone.

I don't see a problem with this.

Burnsy

Arcade Fire · 8 Apr 2006 at 15:27

lumocolor said:
Not at all! What I am saying is you should be doing it to help them out and not make yourself feel better!

What does it matter if the end result is the same? People get nice things done for them regardless, and the only difference using my method is that I also get a nice boost.

Perhaps people that do things for others to make themselves feel better should question why they feel the need to do this???

The same reason that I do a myriad of other things, including see my friends, drink alcohol, and work hard to succeed - they all make me feel good about myself.

chris_r · 8 Apr 2006 at 15:31

I always open doors for people, always try to say please and thank you and i help anybody out whenever i can.

One thing this month that i can think off is giving my friend some clothing because he is having some financial problems.

Shoes, tracksuit, x2 jeans and a t-shirt and a jordan sweat band made him quite happy

I try to treat people how i would like to be treated

Yewen · 8 Apr 2006 at 16:11

Melm0 off the forums sent me a bar of chocolate

Old Turkey · 8 Apr 2006 at 16:25

I lost possession of a piece of mail I intended to post, somewhere in a supermarket I believe, but to my great surprise a good samaritan, who shall forever remain a mystery to me, took it upon themselves to post it on my behalf. Thank you kind fellow.