really need some advice
- Thread starter richyfingers
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Soldato
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Zefan said:
Never said it was fair, but it is her choice.
They both chose to have sex, they both have to live with the consequences should any occur, but as far as her body is concerned she has the final say.
Kell_ee001 said:Exactly because it's her body and if she doesn't want to take the pill, she won't... it's her choice
I was speaking hypothetically, it shouldn't be solely her choice especially when it could ruin both their lives. There are thousands of children born into unhappy homes because the woman pulled the old 'I'm pregnant' trick when he was about to up and leave. It's the oldest trick in the book.
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Kell_ee001 said:Exactly because it's her body and if she doesn't want to take the pill, she won't... it's her choice
Bull.
It'd be as much his child as hers, unless pregnancy has become something women can do naturally on there own now?
Might want to seek legal advice, and reconsider your relationship - you clearly have very different views on a rather important subject which could reoccur.
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Kell_ee001 said:
To me the whole thing stinks of ****.
I know that's how the law is and that's how it is in this case but I can't help but voice my opinion. They treat the father as equally responsible for the pregnancy, yet they get no say in whether it is given the chance to be aborted or not. I really hope I'm never in that situation or there'll be blood
Helium_Junkie said:
IFD
Ah ... the abortion question.
What Levonelle does is stop implantation. Until this occurs there is no foetus, merely a cluster of cells making their merry way down the fallopian tubes into the uterus. You can only get a positive test 2 weeks after the time of sex - commonly known as the TWW (two week wait) on fertility forums - and yes this can be a few days before her period is due with the newest most sensitive tests such as 1st Response. As many as one third of all conceptions (sperm penetrates and fertilises egg) are naturally aborted before 5 weeks (approx time that a heartbeat can be seen on a good ultrasound machine with a good operator) and therefore before most people don't even think about being pregnant; all they notice is that their period is slightly late.
If she felt the way she does perhaps she should have said that before any sex occured. Condoms are not fool-proof. Accidents such as what has happened to the OP occur. She should have said that if anything were to happen so be it, she isnt willing to do anything about it due to her deep set moral (if not religious - Roman Catholic perhaps - beliefs.
What Levonelle does is stop implantation. Until this occurs there is no foetus, merely a cluster of cells making their merry way down the fallopian tubes into the uterus. You can only get a positive test 2 weeks after the time of sex - commonly known as the TWW (two week wait) on fertility forums - and yes this can be a few days before her period is due with the newest most sensitive tests such as 1st Response. As many as one third of all conceptions (sperm penetrates and fertilises egg) are naturally aborted before 5 weeks (approx time that a heartbeat can be seen on a good ultrasound machine with a good operator) and therefore before most people don't even think about being pregnant; all they notice is that their period is slightly late.
If she felt the way she does perhaps she should have said that before any sex occured. Condoms are not fool-proof. Accidents such as what has happened to the OP occur. She should have said that if anything were to happen so be it, she isnt willing to do anything about it due to her deep set moral (if not religious - Roman Catholic perhaps - beliefs.
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if he dumps her now she's gonna think he's a right ****. cos as soon as they think he might be having a baby he's gone.....
but i'd jump ship now anyway.....the condom plit its not ** fault i'd just please take the pill its too early to have a baby blah blah blah
but i'd jump ship now anyway.....the condom plit its not ** fault i'd just please take the pill its too early to have a baby blah blah blah
You are not ready for a child and I would suggest neither is she the correct and moral thing to do is take the Levonelle. I say that as someone who is about to become a dad after 5 years of trying and one miscarriage 
. There are too many children born into situations that are not ideal and not right in my eyes.
Good luck mate.
. There are too many children born into situations that are not ideal and not right in my eyes.Good luck mate.
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trojan698 said:
But it is! It's her choice what goes in her body - end of tbh!
Neither you and no-one body else can force her to take the morning after pill.
Helium_Junkie said:
Who said anything about it not being his child here?!
People - read the thread before posting!
She doesn't want to take the morning after pill - it's her body and so she doesn't have to. No-one can force her. It is her choice. It might not be "fair" when you guys only think about yourselves, but it's the law. Deal with it.
Zefan said:
But that is the way it is - both are involved at the start (sex) and end (baby) but since it's the womans body she gets the final choice in the middle bit.
If men ever start getting pregnant, it'll be their choice what to do with their bodies too!
Finished 
Anyway I've always found that my girlfirends give out the impression that they don't look at pregnancy the same way as I do. My current girlfriend for example wouldn't hesitate to keep a baby.
Why? because it's a cute little baby. To me it's a child thats going to have a poor standard of life with a mother who is not ready.
No matter how much women tell me that they don't follow their emotions, once that maternal instinct kicks in, a decision based on kids can be very one-sided.
Anyway I've always found that my girlfirends give out the impression that they don't look at pregnancy the same way as I do. My current girlfriend for example wouldn't hesitate to keep a baby.
Why? because it's a cute little baby. To me it's a child thats going to have a poor standard of life with a mother who is not ready.
No matter how much women tell me that they don't follow their emotions, once that maternal instinct kicks in, a decision based on kids can be very one-sided.
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Kell_ee001 said:
I'll be happy if you can tell me at what point a man has the choice to abort his baby.
In my opinion it shouldn't be about who's bodies who's, but about who's life it's affecting and that's both.
Morally it should be like this - if one says abort, it gets aborted.
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Kell_ee001 said:
Strictly true yes. But the middle bit as you call it should be all about a couple making balanced choices agreed by both parties.
Oh and I would happily carry baby if I could (be pregnant) after seeing what my poor wife has went through over the past 9 months.
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Zefan said:
Did you not read my posts? I clearly point out many times it's her choice at that stage. Men will only get that choice when it's their bodies.
Zefan said:
And if they couldn't decide, who'd get the final choice?
goreblast said:
I agree, and that's why I say that she has the final decision.
As I said from the start in this case, he should go talk to her - it's all he can do admittedly but hopefully they'll come to a decision together.Kell_ee001 said:
If either want to abort then it should be aborted as it simply isn't fair on the child to have a parent that doesn't want it. Personally I don't give a flying **** about whether the girl thinks it's going to ruin her body etc etc lahdy dah, it should be about whether it's fair to bring the person in to the world considering the circumstances.
Yes I did read your post, and I still see no reason that stops a man having 50% of the say in it.
Slightly OT, but It really sickens me the way that wee slappers can get pregnant at the drop of a hat when we have been through years of trying and invesigations and medication to get where we are. And that we have friends who are still trying with no joy. It really does madden me.
Back OT - all you can do is talk to her. She does have a day or so to come to a descision, but it should be a joint one. Do you have any friends that have a young child. Might be worth her talking to them and showing her the impact it would have on her life.
Back OT - all you can do is talk to her. She does have a day or so to come to a descision, but it should be a joint one. Do you have any friends that have a young child. Might be worth her talking to them and showing her the impact it would have on her life.
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Kell_ee001 said:
What a ridiculous assumption.
Nothing regarding children should ever be a one-sided decision, especially having them. This isn't about forcing the girl to take a pill, its about a baby. A human life. Try to see the bigger picture.
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Zefan said:
It's her body. Full stop.
When it's a mans body, he'll get the say.
It's the law and its a basic human right - get over it.
Helium_Junkie said:
Oh give it up - removing thefirst work of my post to try and make it personal is just plain silly.
You are trying to force her to do something with her body that she doesn't want to do. That's what this is about.
In fact, if people remember rightly this discussing had nothing to do with abortion until people felt they could get all bent outof shape - it's about her taking the morning after pill.
If she doesn't want to - she doesn't have to, regardless of your feeling on the matter!