Realtionship "Am i weird"

Freedom

Freedom

Freedom

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19 Oct 2002
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Prestwick,Scotland
Ok story is

Been friendly with this girl for like 3 years then recently not sure why i asked her out.

So ive been going out with her for like 1 month then tonight was the first time we have kissed.

The things is after it i felt terrible, i now feel that i dont love her.

Is this normall after the first kiss or should i break off the relationship.

p.s. Im 20 and this is the first time i had a gf and the first time ive kissed.
I worry about kissing and worrying about you know what.

Not sure if this is the casue of the problem that im just scared of what might become.
 
I'd say your just scared, leave it a week and then ask yourself if you "love" her again. It has probably been an emotional time for you and you can't make decisions clouded by emotion.
 
I wouldn't worry - it's only been a month so you probably don't love her (it's a bit soon to know)

Just give it a while and see how it goes
 
Depends on what your definition of love is.

I certainly don't think it's unusual to not love someone after a month. I think if you've only just kissed now, then the passion won't be very high either yet, so any love will also probably be similarly delayed.
 
If you're not even sure why you asked her out I think you've got to ask yourself why? Are you only going out with her because you thought she'd say yes?

The fact that it took you a month to kiss her and even then it didn't feel right makes me think that you don't like her that way, but then again you could have just been nervous??

fini
 
To be honest mate you've probably built up your first kiss in your mind for the past 20 years and now its come you're just a bit underwhelmed.

Dont go thinking about love just yet, you're not at that stage, especially since she is your first girlfriend, you wont know what love feels like till you've been in love after all ;) Just see how it goes, dont get too deep, you'll know soon enough whether she is a keeper or not :)
 
How do you know if she is the right women,

I think i felt a little presurised into asking her out.

I took her out for dinner one night and was going to ask her out then, but i didnt.

Each day after that my dad kept syaing you asked her out yet.
 
Freedom said:
How do you know if she is the right women,

I think i felt a little presurised into asking her out.

I took her out for dinner one night and was going to ask her out then, but i didnt.

Each day after that my dad kept syaing you asked her out yet.
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Ah that's your problem then, you were put under pressure, i think you probably see her more as a friend.
One thing you don't want to do is go out with a girl because someone is saying you need to ask her out, even if you are 20, it's better not to do it than to get pressurized into it.
 
Freedom said:
How do you know if she is the right women,

I think i felt a little presurised into asking her out.

I took her out for dinner one night and was going to ask her out then, but i didnt.

Each day after that my dad kept syaing you asked her out yet.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't expect your first girlfriend to be your soulmate. Don't worry if she's the 'right woman', just finding her sexually attractive and enjoying her company is enough for now.

If either of those doesn't apply, then I would stop seeing her.
 
I wasent forcefully presured my dad mostly said "You asked her out yet"

Which made me feel a like i had to.

I dropped her off home tonight on the way home from work.
 
Right now the way i feel, is that i dont want a physical relationship.

I just want to talk, have and fun go to the cinema like we were when we were friends.
 
Freedom said:
Right now the way i feel, is that i dont want a physical relationship.

I just want to talk, have and fun go to the cinema like we were when we were friends.
Click to expand...

Maybe you're gay?

Or maybe you've known her too long as a friend so it's weird going further...
 
qwerty said:
Maybe you're gay?

Or maybe you've known her too long as a friend so it's weird going further...
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The second one is more likely, it would be like kissing your best mate. The feeling of kssing a girl you like for the first time should sent you sky high not being totally underwhelmed. May be she isn't the right one, may be you need more time.
 
You know how it's sposed to be amazing the first time? You never forget it etc? I found that my way works better. Get the first times out of the way drunkenly with some hot girl who you don't really like - that way when you come to the girl you really like you've got all the awkwardness out of the way.
 
qwerty said:
Maybe you're gay?
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Theres a lot to be said for that quote, and there's nothing wrong with being gay. But alas if you don't have gay tendencies then it's more likely that she's just not the one that rocks your boat :). Don't give up straight away though dude, and don't put so much pressure on yourself, just see how it goes and stop stressing over it!

I remember my first propper kiss (in-fact i just got back in contact with her through friends-reunited). Twas on the pirates adventure ride at drayton mannor theme park. I was scared out of my brains but it was great... Then we went back to the coach, and promptly said "shall we go on the pirates adventure again?", and off we went :D . Oh to be 15 again :( .
 
qwerty said:
Maybe you're gay?
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I honestly think it's way too early to start thinking that

It can be difficult moving from friends to something more. My first kiss was with someone who was a friend and then we just thought we should take it further - I was somewhat underwhelmed and we broke up after a few weeks (still friends though)

When you kiss someone that you're really keen on it's like nothing else
 
ajgoodfellow said:
It can be difficult moving from friends to something more. My first kiss was with someone who was a friend and then we just thought we should take it further
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I've got a similar story I'd been friends with her for years, on holiday with a group of friends one drunken night we had crappy sex. We decided to give it another go and ended up together for 10 years.

So maybe moving from friend to lover is making things feel weird. give it another go.
 
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