I'm not quite sure why gender is even being brought into this, if anything you and tom_e are the ones who appear to have the issues by bringing it into the conversation.
1. There are two people attending this intimate dinner, one is male, the other is female.
2. I'm sure most people's advice would be the same if the OP had been a woman asking about a male partner.
Carry on white knighting though.
Since when was the dinner 'intimate'? Two people having a meal is more often than not just... two people eating some food.

