Saying things before thinking..!!

I was invited to a christening once, and I was late, in fact all the group I was with was late, and as we opened the doors to enter the church, the service was just starting and as we made our way to the seats I said, and it was heard – ‘glad I’ve not got a hymn sheet, can’t be bothered with singing this dross.’..!!

The looks on folks faces, to say, I was soundly spoken to after the service…
 
When in school I was at a friends and I got in the car as an old woman with a walking stick was going behind the car on the pavement. His mum said something along the lines of 'I hate that woman, she always tries to annoy me' to which I instantly replied 'Yeah, I hate cripples'. Needless to say that wasn't what I meant to say :/
 
Man I say the stupidest things without thinking first. I always get into trouble from the misses and at work.

Last week some guy was talking about pedofiles and what the goverment should be doing to protect children from them, and without thinking I blurted out

"What do pedofiles use for lube?..........tears"

Did not go down to well....... can't help myself
 
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