Separated. Financial advice

Get it paid then mate :)

Do your best to get yourself to square 1, get shot of any debt and get those savings started. If you did go down the insolvency route, you'd probably find yer self stuffed for more than 18 months tbh.

I'd be very tempted to get the ex to chip in on the loan as well tbh if you can show it went towards both of you
 
Nodiggidy123 said:
I don't think I could get any out of her unless I went to court and don't think I could afford that.

Then there is the issue of whether she would turn into a ***** and stop me seeing my son

If I try hard I reckon I can get it paid within maybe 16-18 months
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Do you have any kind of evidence that the money from the loan was partly for her?

I'd be tempted to cut the maintenance payment in half until the loan is paid off, at least that way she's paying some of it (albeit indirectly).

Paying off the loan will leave you £500/month poorer for less than 2 years (and improve your credit rating).

Filing for bankruptcy will have a huge impact on your credit rating for 6 years (and if your financial circumstance show that you have any disposable income you may end up with an IPA meaning you have to pay back some of the money anyway).

Also, bear in mind that if she tries to stop you seeing your son, killing her will most likely work out cheaper than any legal fees related to access to your son, for example, if you were to hit her with your car (with no witnesses) and then refuse to name the driver, there is a maximum penalty of £1,000 and 6 points on your licence.
 
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Nodiggidy123 said:
Your assuming Im able to stay here indefinitely in order to pay my debt off. I don't want to annoy my parents and get thrown out.

I'll take putting a roof over my and my son's head over paying back a loan I'm afraid. But it's not something I'm looking to do if I can help it.

However whilst I can. I'm going to look into retraining and paying off my debt to provide forva better future.
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I'd just be careful about credit history etc... if you go for an IVA then get some advice on how that can affect getting mortgage etc.. in future. you might find someone else in a year or two and want to settle down.
 
i think i just need to suck it up and pay it off. i may even be able to get it paid a little quicker than 16 months.

i can then focus on training for a better job.
 
Do you have a timeline from your parents as to when you have to leave, if not - pay the debt off and save like mad.

Child maintenance... You said you agreed £200.

Do you really need to pay that much? Will you be having your son regularly in the sense he will not go without the things he needs? If so, cut the maintenance down - if you're practically sharing custody when she doesn't need that much...

Relocate to a cheaper area?

Plenty of ways, just depends what you value the most.
 
trouble with relocation is at present im 2 miles from work. i start looking further field and the savings will be offset with fuel costs.

the plan for my son is to have him overnight once a week and every other weekend. ive based the £200 payment on government guidelines.

depending how much benefits my ex gets. (according to the .gov website she might only be £20 worse off with out me) i may reduce my payments if she gets funny about it i have a ace up my sleeve as she is on the deeds for her parents house but i dont want it to come to that.
 
Is it possible to work multiple jobs, even if it's just part time cash in hand at a pub pulling pints on a weekend?

I guess the two negatives of that is 1) not having time during the weekend evenings but doesn't sound like you have the expendable cash to enjoy that free time anyway and 2) you'll most likely have your son around but if he's young, he'll probably be in bed before you went to work in a bar anyway.

Even if it earns you a little more money to try and pay the loan off quicker and/or put away to save.
 
Nodiggidy123 said:
the plan for my son is to have him overnight once a week and every other weekend. ive based the £200 payment on government guidelines.

depending how much benefits my ex gets. (according to the .gov website she might only be £20 worse off with out me) i may reduce my payments if she gets funny about it i have a ace up my sleeve as she is on the deeds for her parents house but i dont want it to come to that.
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Her benefits shouldn't matter with regards to what maintenance you have to pay. Are you using the latest calculator:
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
 
Armageus said:
Her benefits shouldn't matter with regards to what maintenance you have to pay. Are you using the latest calculator:
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
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I'm aware of that. however she is partly responsible for my debt. the point I was making is that if she gets as much as I think she might get. she won't need my money allowing me to get my debt paid quicker.

I used to dj in the evenings and money was pretty good so I might start that again
 
Just remember what's important....your son.

Keep it amicable and hammer that loan. You have to prove you can't afford it and it's a can of worms that will cause more stress than just paying it.
 
Armageus said:
Her benefits shouldn't matter with regards to what maintenance you have to pay. Are you using the latest calculator:
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
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Nodiggidy123 said:
I'm aware of that. however she is partly responsible for my debt. the point I was making is that if she gets as much as I think she might get. she won't need my money allowing me to get my debt paid quicker.
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That wasn't the point - plugging some approximate numbers into that calculator e.g. 21k annual = £403.85 / week gross income, 1 child maintenance, 2-3 nights per week = £35 week you should be paying in maintenance

£140 month is clearly better for you than the £200 month you are currently paying (and shouldn't necessarily be - unless you have a court order or other legally binding agreement to be paying 15%)

Obviously you have more accurate figures you can plug into that, e.g. your pension can be removed from your gross income for the purposes of this, but don't think it will make a huge difference.


Whether she needs the money or not isn't for you to decide, you have to pay it regardless unless some other legal arrangement has been drawn up. But as long as you are paying the legal minimum, there shouldn't be a problem.



Sources:
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance/y/pay/1_child/no/403.85/0/2
http://www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk/salary.php
 
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Ukadder said:
If it was me....

I'd stay at my parents, study my arse off for a qualification/extra qualifications on top of what I already have, get a better job or good pay rise because of it and then look at moving out. While paying off the loan as soon as you can.

Like you, I can't see how you could live and rent on the money you take home, unless you house share which personally I would never do.
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I agree with this.

[FnG]magnolia;29437551 said:
I'm sorry to hear that. You need to speak to at least two people in a professional capacity: a solicitor and a financial advisor. Any advice posted in this thread will be next to worthless as you've missed out so many important points of information in your OP.
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Plus this.

When I separated from my wife, I was the one who moved out and had to stay in a hotel for several weeks before I found a flat of my own.

It was a bit of a dive, very cheap but it did me until I saved up enough to move in somewhere a bit better and then I moved again to somewhere epic once I had everything setup!

Take the help of family for the time being till you get planted and get some savings going. I utilised family as well to help me afford(they are in Ireland)

Also...I didn't flat share, nor do I ever plan too and I live alone right now with no plans to change that.

What age is your son? I pay CSA of £150 p/m for my daughter and that is via CSA - she is coming up to 2 years old.
 
I split with my X and had to sell our house, im 40 and have been at my parents for a year now saving my arse off.

Im now in a position to buy something like a small house, dont be ashamed of moving back and saving up but have a plan in place and dont blow your money.

Good luck, its not easy.
 
Haggisman said:
Also, bear in mind that if she tries to stop you seeing your son, killing her will most likely work out cheaper than any legal fees related to access to your son, for example, if you were to hit her with your car (with no witnesses) and then refuse to name the driver, there is a maximum penalty of £1,000 and 6 points on your licence.
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Underrated post.
 
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