Show me your crumpet

This, exactly this.

You don’t spread butter on a crumpet, you slice it from the end of the brick as though you’re slicing cheese and just place it on top of the crumpet (after scoring the crumpet) to soak in.
And make sure you mop up the last of it with the last bite
 
Salami and cheese/jalepenos and cheese both work well, but 99.9999% of the time i'm a pure butter man.

I'd add it has to be warburtons crumpets too. Far too often i try out fancier looking ones (I'm looking at you Waitrose sourdough crumpets), and they're just never as good.
 
I'd add it has to be warburtons crumpets too. Far too often i try out fancier looking ones (I'm looking at you Waitrose sourdough crumpets), and they're just never as good.

Yeah, Warburtons are the best. So many others are just rubbery horrid things.
Saying that I did try the recently released Hovis offering and they're not bad. Not a Warburtons but certainly not too far behind.
 
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