Silly Clients
- Thread starter Guru
- Start date
Deal with plenty every day
Even things like simple instructions seem to baffle supposed professionals
For example when we pick clients up from Edinburgh airport we advise to exit arrivals and as you walk out the door you will see a shelter containing the machines for carpark payments next to a ruddy big green sign saying assembly point one
Now to me walking out a door and looking for a sign in plain sight isn't difficult
I'm lucky if 50% of them find it spend a lot of time chasing clients round various parts of the airport
Same with clients continually asking if we take card payments
Our website says we take cards on every single page. there's a chip and pin machine prominently on display in both vehicles and my own taxi is currently sporting no less than 6 stickers proclaiming the selection of cards we accept. I swear the next person that asked if we take card payments is going to get choked to death with the elastic cord of a magic tree
Even things like simple instructions seem to baffle supposed professionals
For example when we pick clients up from Edinburgh airport we advise to exit arrivals and as you walk out the door you will see a shelter containing the machines for carpark payments next to a ruddy big green sign saying assembly point one
Now to me walking out a door and looking for a sign in plain sight isn't difficult
I'm lucky if 50% of them find it spend a lot of time chasing clients round various parts of the airport
Same with clients continually asking if we take card payments
Our website says we take cards on every single page. there's a chip and pin machine prominently on display in both vehicles and my own taxi is currently sporting no less than 6 stickers proclaiming the selection of cards we accept. I swear the next person that asked if we take card payments is going to get choked to death with the elastic cord of a magic tree
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 29 Mar 2003
- Posts
- 57,953
- Location
- Blurton
My place.
Someone calls me "Can you come and help me connect my laptop to the TV, I'm not getting anything displayed"
Me goes and turns the TV on!
Happens a lot where I work
Mind you I made a fool of myself a couple of weeks ago.
The power went off in the office but I looked into a room with Managers and their displays were on.
I walked up and down wondering why ours were off and there's were on and then announced we must be on a different circuit.
One of the Managers then said 'Or perhaps it's because our laptop batteries are keeping them going'
I had someone call me asking why they couldn't get on the Internet on their laptop and asking if I could "dial in" to have a look 
When I explained that I couldn't dial in unless they WERE connected to the Internet they couldn't believe it. The conversation went on to me asking them why it sounded like they were driving I was told they were on the motorway, but it was "ok" because they had hands free!
Beggars belief.
Also the amount of times someone calls in and asks me to install a printer for them when they aren't any where near their printer or sometimes even their laptop is ridiculous.
When I explained that I couldn't dial in unless they WERE connected to the Internet they couldn't believe it. The conversation went on to me asking them why it sounded like they were driving I was told they were on the motorway, but it was "ok" because they had hands free!
Beggars belief.
Also the amount of times someone calls in and asks me to install a printer for them when they aren't any where near their printer or sometimes even their laptop is ridiculous.
Soldato
- Joined
- 2 May 2011
- Posts
- 12,466
- Location
- Woking
Mind you I made a fool of myself a couple of weeks ago.
The power went off in the office but I looked into a room with Managers and their displays were on.
I walked up and down wondering why ours were off and there's were on and then announced we must be on a different circuit.
One of the Managers then said 'Or perhaps it's because our laptop batteries are keeping them going'
Can a laptop power a monitor?! That's news to me!
I had one a few years back.
Client "My mouse has stopped working, you built the computer why is it not working?
Went round to house and checked said mouse? A piece of wood had jammed the mouse wheel! and they did not know you could remove it!
Another one!
Client "Internet not working, you built blarr blarr?"
Went round looked at the cables ?"I said you need to plug the modem in with
a LAN cable " They said "Its pluged in and on as i have plugged it in the wall
socket!
Retards!
Client "My mouse has stopped working, you built the computer why is it not working?
Went round to house and checked said mouse? A piece of wood had jammed the mouse wheel! and they did not know you could remove it!
Another one!
Client "Internet not working, you built blarr blarr?"
Went round looked at the cables ?"I said you need to plug the modem in with
a LAN cable " They said "Its pluged in and on as i have plugged it in the wall
socket!
Retards!
Associate
- Joined
- 3 Feb 2009
- Posts
- 895
- Location
- Sydney
Last week a user walks up to me with his laptop saying that the enter key is stuck on. I take a look at it and see that there are no problems and hand it back to him saying to give me a call if it happens again.
10 minutes later he comes back up to me and says "it only happens when he connects to the network" so I plug him into a spare network port...still no issues so I send him away again.
5 minutes later I get a call saying it's happening again and to come to his desk to have a look. I walk over to his desk and sure enough it was behaving as if the enter key was constantly pressed. What he didn't mention was that he was connecting to a docking station with a keyboard connected to it...and sitting on top of the num-pad enter key was a massive hard back book.
And this guy has a PhD!!!
10 minutes later he comes back up to me and says "it only happens when he connects to the network" so I plug him into a spare network port...still no issues so I send him away again.
5 minutes later I get a call saying it's happening again and to come to his desk to have a look. I walk over to his desk and sure enough it was behaving as if the enter key was constantly pressed. What he didn't mention was that he was connecting to a docking station with a keyboard connected to it...and sitting on top of the num-pad enter key was a massive hard back book.
And this guy has a PhD!!!
I used to work in a call centre providing hardware support for a laptop manufacturer, this is the most memorable:
Customer: Sometimes the laptop doesn't recognise when I press the a or s keys.
Me: Okay, it sounds like something may be stuck under the key - some compressed air should clear it, or you could try gently running a vacuum cleaner nozzles over the keys.
Customer: I'll do that now, thanks!
Two or three days later...
Manager: We've had to offer a goodwill repair for someone you spoke to, can you remember offering advice on cleaning a keyboard?
Me: (Oh rubbish!) Yeah, what's happened?
Manager: They put their laptop open on the floor and proceeded to run their vacuum over it, the vacuum cleaner ripped off all of the keys!
Customer: Sometimes the laptop doesn't recognise when I press the a or s keys.
Me: Okay, it sounds like something may be stuck under the key - some compressed air should clear it, or you could try gently running a vacuum cleaner nozzles over the keys.
Customer: I'll do that now, thanks!
Two or three days later...
Manager:
We've had to offer a goodwill repair for someone you spoke to, can you remember offering advice on cleaning a keyboard? Me: (Oh rubbish!) Yeah, what's happened?
Manager:
They put their laptop open on the floor and proceeded to run their vacuum over it, the vacuum cleaner ripped off all of the keys!
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 29 Mar 2003
- Posts
- 57,953
- Location
- Blurton
Well all the Managers who had laptops with external monitors plugged in were on while the rest of us with normal PCs were off
I don't really understand what you're on about because my daughter regularly has her laptop plugged into an external monitor and she just runs off the laptop battery but obviously the monitor is self powered.
Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Feb 2008
- Posts
- 11,114
Well all the Managers who had laptops with external monitors plugged in were on while the rest of us with normal PCs were off
I don't really understand what you're on about because my daughter regularly has her laptop plugged into an external monitor and she just runs off the laptop battery but obviously the monitor is self powered.
He means that surely if there was a full power cut, the managers' external monitors would have turned off.
The way you've written it, it sounds as though their external monitors were still running, not just the laptop screen.
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 29 Mar 2003
- Posts
- 57,953
- Location
- Blurton
Yes I see now.
What happened was a very quick power cut so all our PCs turned off and then it takes about 15 minutes for them to boot into a working screen.
While they were rebooting I looked around the office and all the Managers monitors were on and their laptops were still on working screens as though nothing had happened.
In the split second power cut (which happened 3 times in 2 hours) their monitors had obviously gone off and come straight back on again.
About 10 years ago my mate asked me to build a pc, we had a lot of trouble with it and had to send several components back for replacement due to being doa (my mate layer revealed that he saw the postie throw one of the boxes out of the van into the street).
After all this carry on and about a week later it was all worked with windows installed. I turned it off and went home. No sooner had I got in than the phone goes and he tells me the pc wont turn on and can I come back.
I said 'press the power button and tell me exactly what happens'. I heard a whirring and then he said 'oh its fixed itself'. He later admitted he had been pressing the cd tray eject.
I was at a work training course last week where the trainee couldn't get the projector to come back on after we had carried out an exercise. Turns out she had put a stack of postits over the lens to stop us seeing the answers...
After all this carry on and about a week later it was all worked with windows installed. I turned it off and went home. No sooner had I got in than the phone goes and he tells me the pc wont turn on and can I come back.
I said 'press the power button and tell me exactly what happens'. I heard a whirring and then he said 'oh its fixed itself'. He later admitted he had been pressing the cd tray eject.
I was at a work training course last week where the trainee couldn't get the projector to come back on after we had carried out an exercise. Turns out she had put a stack of postits over the lens to stop us seeing the answers...
I had someone call me asking why they couldn't get on the Internet on their laptop and asking if I could "dial in" to have a look
Could have been a DNS issue and you could have connected via an IP address
Could have been a DNS issue and you could have connected via an IP address
They were in the car driving down he motorway
IT Support is grim, because what often happens is the users are ignorant about the complexity of the back end system and generally hold the support staff in contempt (for a number of reasons - think they are paid too much, they slack around all day and that their job really isn't important) and from a support person perspective, the user is seen as a moron.
Oh I used to hate the users copying in 400 senior managers in when they wanted things done.
Oh I used to hate the users copying in 400 senior managers in when they wanted things done.