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** Speaking from experience!!! **

Man of Honour
Joined
17 Feb 2003
Posts
29,640
Location
Chelmsford
I'm feeling generous today so here are five genuine things I'd like to share, speaking from experience, in hope you would never do the same..


1. Use Veet for inner nose hair removal
2. Pour red wine over your boss
3. Look out the window whilst pulling a 20kg weight from a barbell
4. Sit on a 3inch wood screw
5. Never try dressing up as a woman just before having to pick the kids up from school



Now let's have your five:
 
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I'm feeling generous today so here are five genuine things I'd like to share, speaking from experience, in hope you would never do the same..


1. Use Veet for inner nose hair removal

What happens?

2. Pour red wine over your boss

:o

3. Look out the window whilst pulling a 20kg weight from a barbell

Crank yet neck?

4. Sit on a 3inch wood screw

Fair enough...

5. Never try dressing up as a woman just before having to pick the kids up from school

Sicko!!!:eek:

Now let's have your five:
 
1) You cant stop self-closing doors by putting your thumb in the hinge.
2) Annoying a cyclist in front by touching your front bicycle wheel on the back wheel of theirs will end up worse for you.. karma!
3) Cardboard boxes do not constitute appropriate outdoor fort building material.
4) Animals do give out warnings before they attack. If you think they dont, you have probably been attacked a lot.
5) 2 month old nephews can and will guff on you explosively. Do not be left holding the baby when it does this. Its similar to pass the parcel, in reverse. Changing time..
 
Things you should never do:

1. Bother spending three days making changes to a document as the reviewer will make their own changes anyway.
2. Not bother locking your rear bike wheel to the frame on the grounds that 'no-one could be bothered to knick it'.
3. Tell you boss you avocate working smart rather than hard.
4. Start a European war on two fronts.
5. Accept sweets from strangers.
 
When bladdered, never use Veet instead of a shaver because you think it's so easy to use. Well it has to be easy doesn't it as the missus just smears it on her legs, wipes it off and voila legs smoother than an oiled up Frank Sinatra.

It doesn't work!
 
I have one thing you should never do:

1. Act like Capn' $qu!ff

If you do I'll Keelhaul ya make you walk the plank then keelhaul ya again for good measure


edit; I have on more thing you should Never ever ever do:

Shoot people in the ****s!
 
Don't ever sit on a hedgehog.
Don't pick up small wild animals thinking they're too cute not to bite you.

Other than that i'm still too young and stupid to have anymore words of wisdom. I intend to lead a fulfilling life dodging the mafia and cooking lobsters like huddy.
 
think that nipping a metal clip together with your teeth instead of pliers is a good idea

ripping it off your tongue after it bites onto it is not nice !
 
Please tell me that's not you in your sig. :eek::(


maybe? ;)


No, I was going to a meet a few years back and i was dressing up as Edna Everage. I bought some second hand ladies clothes from a charity shop.. On the friday before leaving i tried them on, then realised the time.. I could get the thing off so I just put a jumper over the the top and waited in the car.

#finds picture#
 
Put a garden fork in your foot.

Forget that on old Peugeot bikes, the front and back brake levers are reversed
 
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