Starting again

Narj · 20 Sep 2018 at 00:05

Hey all.

I've pretty much got all this sorted logistics wise but I'm hoping to get advice on the little things I may have missed. I've got the obvious checklist stuff like mail redirect, change of address notification (long list! :eek:

) down.

I've worked and lived abroad before but I've spent most of my life in the same town (and same house) but am now taking the plunge and relocating to a completely different area. I'm sure there are peeps on here who have moved around a lot so any tips etc on how you found it and settled in somewhere different would be handy.

Efour · 20 Sep 2018 at 03:20

Where?

Rroff · 20 Sep 2018 at 03:24

I've moved to a completely new place/new start before - I didn't regret it, glad of the experience, but I never really felt like it was home - was a great few years but I ended up moving back to the town I was born in. Thinking in the long run of moving elsewhere again but mostly that is due to somewhat limited employment options here if I was looking for another job.

LOAM · 20 Sep 2018 at 07:47

I moved to Nottingham in 1998 from a market town in the NE having never been to Nottingham before. No friends or family or anything, left a large network of mates behind which was a terrible pull.

You just have to dive into it though, at least you have lots of social similarities given it's still the UK. You'll probably find a different version of your mates, everyone is the same

What Rroff said though, it never feels like home even after 20 years.

Eurofighter · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:11

I moved from Burnley to Manchester, but I had mates there. Wanted fields again so moved back.

Narj · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:19

LOAM said:
What Rroff said though, it never feels like home even after 20 years.

That's an interesting thought. I'm sure I'm going to get that feeling, however my home area has driven me to the brink of insanity so I doubt I'll ever want to return.

I wanted to be closer to countryside and to get fit walking/cycling again - also better quality of life so am heading further down in Kent. Had enough of London

A mate of mine moved to Cornwall and it took 10 years before he was accepted as a "local"

MrRockliffe · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:23

Narj said:
That's an interesting thought. I'm sure I'm going to get that feeling, however my home area has driven me to the brink of insanity so I doubt I'll ever want to return.

I wanted to be closer to countryside and to get fit walking/cycling again - also better quality of life so am heading further down in Kent. Had enough of London

A mate of mine moved to Cornwall and it took 10 years before he was accepted as a "local"

Parts of Kent are lovely, and you're still close enough to London to get the train in whenever you want. Also the warmest part of the UK from memory

Narj · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:28

MrRockliffe said:
Parts of Kent are lovely, and you're still close enough to London to get the train in whenever you want. Also the warmest part of the UK from memory

Yep - commute is very easy while working in London - bit pricier but it's worth it. I'll be renting to start with but looking at Hildenborough/Tonbridge/Tunbridge Wells when it comes to buying. Bottled out of moving to Cambridgeshire as they are massively over-developing a lot of the area I was looking at.

Beerbaron · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:38

Narj said:
A mate of mine moved to Cornwall and it took 10 years before he was accepted as a "local"

Is that because he kept eating Ginsters pasties

Rifte · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:38

I have rarely settled in the same area and when I was based in the UK the maximum amount of time that I have ever spent anywhere is around 6 years. On the back of this the fear of change has never really been a barrier to a decision of mine.

My most recent move is probably my ballsiest yet, when three years ago we packed up and moved to India.

For me as long as I have my wife and children with me I am convinced that I could live anywhere.

Top tips? Difficult to say. When I was in the UK I was either in one of three places (office, gym, home) and the same is here, so it does not feel that my life has changed much that way.

One thing I would say however is dont shy away from it, change doesnt have to be permanent, you dont like it.....move again. I always go with a 3 year rule.

When I move I will stay there for three years minimum however I feel about it. Once I get past this stage and if I continue to dislike it......time to move.

philstanbridge · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:39

I moved from Peterborough to the west coast of Scotland about 15 years ago. Have not regretted it at all, even though it took years to adapt. It's a different pace of life here. Patience is a virtue for sure. But I started a family up here and my children are now settled in school/nursery, and my wife has an excellent career. I'm a full-time dad at the moment, but I also made sure I got a degree too, so I haven't been idle. I wouldn't look back. Of course I miss my family and friends from down south, but I make a point of meeting up regularly. The distance can be a bit of a strain sometimes, but if you are used to travelling far and wide, that helps. Good luck.

fastwunz · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:51

philstanbridge said:
I moved from Peterborough to the west coast of Scotland about 15 years ago. Have not regretted it at all, even though it took years to adapt. It's a different pace of life here. Patience is a virtue for sure. But I started a family up here and my children are now settled in school/nursery, and my wife has an excellent career. I'm a full-time dad at the moment, but I also made sure I got a degree too, so I haven't been idle. I wouldn't look back. Of course I miss my family and friends from down south, but I make a point of meeting up regularly. The distance can be a bit of a strain sometimes, but if you are used to travelling far and wide, that helps. Good luck.

Becoming a full time dad must have been a massive wrench - my Mrs wouldn’t let me get away with that!!!! Do you enjoy it? You must miss having a job - even if it’s just a little?

philstanbridge · 20 Sep 2018 at 09:58

It's a long story but I had my own little business which succumbed to the recession in 2007. We decided at that point that I was going to do the childcare. Slotted right in really, although it has been difficult yes. I was used to long hours, but this was ridiculous. Quite a shock to the system. I have the upmost respect for parents now

Of course I miss the financial freedom my job gave me, but I don't miss the responsibility or stress. I'm sure when my kids get a bit older I will start to look, utilising my degree. But that's years away. One step at a time.

MrRockliffe · 20 Sep 2018 at 10:04

Narj said:
Yep - commute is very easy while working in London - bit pricier but it's worth it. I'll be renting to start with but looking at Hildenborough/Tonbridge/Tunbridge Wells when it comes to buying. Bottled out of moving to Cambridgeshire as they are massively over-developing a lot of the area I was looking at.

Check out Kings Hill in West Malling - I've got family there who speak very highly of it

Psymonkee · 20 Sep 2018 at 10:54

philstanbridge said:
I moved from Peterborough to the west coast of Scotland about 15 years ago. Have not regretted it at all, even though it took years to adapt. It's a different pace of life here. Patience is a virtue for sure. But I started a family up here and my children are now settled in school/nursery, and my wife has an excellent career. I'm a full-time dad at the moment, but I also made sure I got a degree too, so I haven't been idle. I wouldn't look back. Of course I miss my family and friends from down south, but I make a point of meeting up regularly. The distance can be a bit of a strain sometimes, but if you are used to travelling far and wide, that helps. Good luck.

WTF I remember that - it was never 15 years ago surely to goodness? :eek:

@Narj Go on meetup.com and try finding local groups for hobbies you have! I'll always recommend board gaming as the groups are usually fun and varied people!

Narj · 20 Sep 2018 at 10:57

Psymonkee said:
WTF I remember that - it was never 15 years ago surely to goodness?

@Narj Go on meetup.com and try finding local groups for hobbies you have! I'll always recommend board gaming as the groups are usually fun and varied people!

That's a great shout - thanks for that!

malachi · 20 Sep 2018 at 11:04

philstanbridge said:
I moved from Peterborough to the west coast of Scotland about 15 years ago. Have not regretted it at all, even though it took years to adapt. It's a different pace of life here. Patience is a virtue for sure. But I started a family up here and my children are now settled in school/nursery, and my wife has an excellent career. I'm a full-time dad at the moment, but I also made sure I got a degree too, so I haven't been idle. I wouldn't look back. Of course I miss my family and friends from down south, but I make a point of meeting up regularly. The distance can be a bit of a strain sometimes, but if you are used to travelling far and wide, that helps. Good luck.

You sir deserve a high five! Being a full time dad while using your time wisely to get an degree. I like it!

Narj · 20 Sep 2018 at 11:49

Beerbaron said:
Is that because he kept eating Ginsters pasties

Haha those things are filth!

I think I'd maybe like to retire in Cornwall - right now wouldn't work for me unfortunately.

ivrytwr3 · 20 Sep 2018 at 12:29

LOAM said:
I moved to Nottingham in 1998 from a market town in the NE having never been to Nottingham before. No friends or family or anything, left a large network of mates behind which was a terrible pull.

You just have to dive into it though, at least you have lots of social similarities given it's still the UK. You'll probably find a different version of your mates, everyone is the same

What Rroff said though, it never feels like home even after 20 years.

Whereabouts in NE? I did similar, but have settled in Lincs - a completely different pace of life from the NE!

Dup · 20 Sep 2018 at 12:37

Eurofighter said:
I moved from Burnley to Manchester, but I had mates there. Wanted fields again so moved back.

Currently in Barnoldswick, born and bred in Whalley... Could never go as far as moving to a place like Manchester. Our northern towns can be bleak however we're lucky to be able to walk a short distance to some greenery. That's all that would keep me "home", people less so. I'd sooner be paid much less and have fewer opprtunities to avoid living in a city.

I hope to re-locate to somewhere more remote and greener in later life. My biggest worry would be my mum as she's my only family and on her own. I'd love to live in Scotland and have more of the natural world at my doorstep as we're keen hikers and love the outdoors, but I'd be perfectly happy being around this area forever.

Mybiggest worry would be work, you'd move to a new job that could potentially go wrong/not work out and leave you out of sorts not long after moving which is a risk. But if you go with options and a buffer behind you with these potential set backs in mind it shouldn't be an issue.

I told myself last year I'd go vagabond if I didn't have a family of my own by the time I'm near 40. Baby due in 2 weeks now so there goes that plan!