strangest thing you've seen on a CV?

hughtrimble · 22 Jan 2019 at 09:39

malachi said:
I haven't included one in any of mine. Unless they ask for it then I don't bother.

Larger organisations often state that you must not attach photos. Similarly, your demographic information is typically removed from applications, if collected (ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation etc.) so as to minimise (un)conscious bias.

dowie · 22 Jan 2019 at 14:58

A Facebook style profile picture AND a Facebook style cover photo covering the top margin.... oh and it appeared on page 2 too FFS.

glenimp617 · 22 Jan 2019 at 15:00

I read a CV for an IT position which said something along the lines of

"I enjoy guns, kickboxing and beating people up"

second best was for an international post from a pakistani guy living in Saudi. He had done a copy and paste from the Microsoft MCSA site, and was basically saying he was the next bill gates. He got an interview, but quickly turned out he didn't know anything. In fact, if I remember right he last used a computer back in the XP/Server 2003 days. Brilliant!

AHarvey · 23 Jan 2019 at 17:13

TheOracle said:
"I enjoy guns, kickboxing and beating people up"

I think he used to work for me

lol

In his time working for me, Angry Jim, kicked the vending machine because it didn't give him chocolate and smashed the front glass completely. He walked in front of a bus and punched it when it nearly hit him, breaking his hand.

He threatened me when I told the department a new dress code meant that hats/caps could no longer be worn, and then clicked his heels Nazi salute style as I walked past 15 mins later. He had never worn a hat in his life

He was gone shortly after that

Mr^B · 25 Jan 2019 at 10:41

"Tired unmotivated peers are quickly brought back to life after a couple of doses of me."

"Was personally thanked publically by the CTO 3 times for going above and beyond for my work in..."

Same CV.

I got them in for an interview and they had this very strange hand affectation, whereby they'd keep their hands rigid on the desk in a crab/claw like configuration. And when speaking the crab hands would start to flap a little bit, and they'd then relax and have a more natural hand posture. Then they'd catch themselves waving their hands about, and would return to the base crab-like configuration.

They are now known in the interview hall of fame as "3 times crab hands" or "Dr Zoidberg".

Basher · 25 Jan 2019 at 11:54

About 5 years ago we had a guy apply that included his World of Warcraft score on his CV. He didn't make it to interview.

SPG · 25 Jan 2019 at 12:52

Thats funny, I had a position to fill and they put down Warcraft on his CV along with his char levels, Gave him the job in the end. Comes to work, plays on Warcraft, top employee apart from him looking pale and never in early

llamadal · 25 Jan 2019 at 15:39

Successful x-factor contestant - turns out this person didn't even make it onto the main show

Jokester · 25 Jan 2019 at 15:47

I’ve heard of people putting WoW raid leader down as a hobby to demonstrate leadership qualities.

Personally, I’ve got “moderator of a large U.K. based Internet forum” on mine

dowie · 25 Jan 2019 at 16:13

I'm tempted to just throw in a deliberate Easter egg on mine now, like "level 14 Wizard, dungeons and dragons" or something (not sure if that is a thing?) just to see if anyone picks up on it.

Raymond Lin · 25 Jan 2019 at 20:27

One this week

Their name was written as “First name (recently engaged) surname”

So i.e. Jane (recently engaged) Doe.

I also seen a QC’s online CV, under hobbies - Sheep.

Just sheep.

Frozennova · 25 Jan 2019 at 20:55

Raymond Lin said:
One this week

Their name was written as “First name (recently engaged) surname”

So i.e. Jane (recently engaged) Doe.

I also seen a QC’s online CV, under hobbies - Sheep.

Just sheep.

Were they Welsh?

Scuzi · 25 Jan 2019 at 21:00

Not in her CV but a lady I interviewed once said at the end when we gave her the “why you?” question...

“If I was in a butchers window, I’d be the finest piece of prime sirloin on offer. You wouldn’t be able to resist”

Raymond Lin · 25 Jan 2019 at 21:16

Frozennova said:
Were they Welsh?

The QC? I think he is based in a chamber in Bristol...so perhaps?

lookitsjonno · 25 Jan 2019 at 21:20

Interviewed for a PHP job, turned up saying how much he hated PHP. Opinions aside, why did you apply for the role :confused:

bainbridge · 25 Jan 2019 at 23:40

I viewed a CV saying: "Extremely punctual" and "extreme attention to detail".. He was a no show.

BongoHunter · 25 Jan 2019 at 23:47

Someone claiming they had for example 10 years experience in a technology that's only been around for 5 or something similar seams to be quite common

dowie · 26 Jan 2019 at 09:14

BongoHunter said:
Someone claiming they had for example 10 years experience in a technology that's only been around for 5 or something similar seams to be quite common

LOL

Though to be fair that happens the other way around too - some job descriptions containing impossible requirements that make the same mistake.

sHo0sH · 29 Jan 2019 at 13:54

This nutter:

"The Romanian “state” mafia committed acts of state terrorism and wrongful repression through illegal home breakings and arrests right before Orthodox Easter 2017, planning to Qualifiedly Murder me to stop me from denouncing its criminal activity, then perpetrated the 7thCrimes against humanity committal against me between 27th May 2017 and 8th June 2017, and then issued its final solution to indefinitely incarcerate me to life, Torture, Bodily Harm and Qualifiedly Murder me, forcing me to become a permanent refugee since 1st September 2017, and freeze the law college"

They go on, and on and on. It's both hilarious and shocking at the same time.

AHarvey · 29 Jan 2019 at 21:50

Wow some of the responses in here

Regarding the WOW thing, it's been argued on this forum I believe. I think to anyone outside of gaming it would seem odd but running raids in WOW or Corps in Eve are no different than any team exercise that needs leadership.

I've finally got my hands on this persons actually PDF CV and W O W. Graphics, his photo at the top, 6 hobbies all with an icon. Skills with percentage bars to show how skillful he is in that field... lots of comments about loving online training but then states he doesn't do a lot due to working long hours.

BongoHunter said:
Someone claiming they had for example 10 years experience in a technology that's only been around for 5 or something similar seams to be quite common

I once had a lad work for me in one of the warehouses. He was 28 years old with 34 years of work experience when we added up how many years he told us he'd worked in each field...