Surely it's much much more selfish to demand a person lives in pain so unbearable they see death as the only option left just so you don't have to feel sad?
Suicide - why?
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Surely it's much much more selfish to demand a person lives in pain so unbearable they see death as the only option left just so you don't have to feel sad?
Suicide is something that runs deep in my family. Especially on my fathers side. Doesn't help either that many have suffered from substance abuse and bouts of depression. Ive heard stories but unfortunately i dont know them well enough to have had any meaningful conversations on the subject
I myself have been troubled by these "dark thoughts" since i was 24. Not really surprised tbh because from a genetic standpoint, these kind of predisposition were almost inevitable. I hate the very notion that things are predetermined but im not surprised that ive contemplated taking my life.
Families, friends, colleagues all tend to have the same reaction when someone close to them takes their life. Pain and anger are typical responses. Feeling of regret that they didnt reach out or simple existential questions like "why" also come to mind. Quite frankly i find it odd that someone who commits suicide is considered selfish. But thats expected. Comes from peoples own inadequacies about being forced to confront their mortailty and inabiltiy to have control over themselves or others.
I love my immediate family and i know there are people who care for me but sometimes that not always enough. Like someone said, regular life and how one internalises, has a way of depleting "energies." Its a complicated subject that deals heavily in perspective and outlook. Two people have the same set of problems and live in the same environment but client X has is more capable of filtering then client Y. Sure, there are medications, counseling and other forms of support but its not an exact science. There is no cure for life, there are no guarantees.
Then theres the act itself. Comes in many forms and like body language, can give some insite into that persons frame of mind. Suicide by train, shotgun, bleech, etc sound like souls who were pretty ****ed at society or themselves. Conversely, suicide by sleeping pills or drowing might have softer selfless connotations. As for hanging at home for your mother and kids to find...i have an opinion but i dont know enough to really comment.
WHatever the case, the result is the same. Quite frankly, people die all the time. Malpractice, murders, hit and runs. drug/alcohol abuse, illness, etc. Hell, theres a wholse set of words in the English dictionary with the "icide" affix attached. It seems that its not a question of when you die but how. Like making sense of it changes everything. Maybe time to wake up and see that illusion for what it is. To those who call suicide the cowards way out. They obviously had no ******* idea what it like to be depressed. I do find it hard to condone those who leave behind a wife and children with bills but sometimes that urge is so overpowering that all sense is lost in the moment. I have a certain admiration tbh. There are those who would waste away in hospital bed, incurring cost and space, fearful of the stuggle ahead. And then those who take life in their own hands and spare themselves and others a painful scraping existence. I know its not that black and white but for me, it is.
I respect the OP for not asking for condolences. You ll not get any from me. Ive grown tired of this litany of tweets and other social postings that serve nothing more then draw attention and incur sympathy to nonsense. I will praise you however for being honest and opening a discussion on a taboo subject.
p.s. I looked at the photos. Perhaps its my own personal bias but inspite of the smiles, i see a profound sense of sadness in those eyes.
I myself have been troubled by these "dark thoughts" since i was 24. Not really surprised tbh because from a genetic standpoint, these kind of predisposition were almost inevitable. I hate the very notion that things are predetermined but im not surprised that ive contemplated taking my life.
Families, friends, colleagues all tend to have the same reaction when someone close to them takes their life. Pain and anger are typical responses. Feeling of regret that they didnt reach out or simple existential questions like "why" also come to mind. Quite frankly i find it odd that someone who commits suicide is considered selfish. But thats expected. Comes from peoples own inadequacies about being forced to confront their mortailty and inabiltiy to have control over themselves or others.
I love my immediate family and i know there are people who care for me but sometimes that not always enough. Like someone said, regular life and how one internalises, has a way of depleting "energies." Its a complicated subject that deals heavily in perspective and outlook. Two people have the same set of problems and live in the same environment but client X has is more capable of filtering then client Y. Sure, there are medications, counseling and other forms of support but its not an exact science. There is no cure for life, there are no guarantees.
Then theres the act itself. Comes in many forms and like body language, can give some insite into that persons frame of mind. Suicide by train, shotgun, bleech, etc sound like souls who were pretty ****ed at society or themselves. Conversely, suicide by sleeping pills or drowing might have softer selfless connotations. As for hanging at home for your mother and kids to find...i have an opinion but i dont know enough to really comment.
WHatever the case, the result is the same. Quite frankly, people die all the time. Malpractice, murders, hit and runs. drug/alcohol abuse, illness, etc. Hell, theres a wholse set of words in the English dictionary with the "icide" affix attached. It seems that its not a question of when you die but how. Like making sense of it changes everything. Maybe time to wake up and see that illusion for what it is. To those who call suicide the cowards way out. They obviously had no ******* idea what it like to be depressed. I do find it hard to condone those who leave behind a wife and children with bills but sometimes that urge is so overpowering that all sense is lost in the moment. I have a certain admiration tbh. There are those who would waste away in hospital bed, incurring cost and space, fearful of the stuggle ahead. And then those who take life in their own hands and spare themselves and others a painful scraping existence. I know its not that black and white but for me, it is.
I respect the OP for not asking for condolences. You ll not get any from me. Ive grown tired of this litany of tweets and other social postings that serve nothing more then draw attention and incur sympathy to nonsense. I will praise you however for being honest and opening a discussion on a taboo subject.
p.s. I looked at the photos. Perhaps its my own personal bias but inspite of the smiles, i see a profound sense of sadness in those eyes.
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Hey Dimple, there are many replies I could put to that comment that you wouldn't like.
So I will refrain from putting them.
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thanks for this..
My sister tried to commit suicide when she was 17. Think I told the story on here before.
She's lesbian and I think that was around the time she started to realise that fact. Couple that with severe depression, a worthless drunk for a dad, a screwed up family, a weak constitution and I suppose I can begin to understand why she did it. Still, I would never EVER condone or speak positive of it.
As for myself, never crossed my mind. I've had periods of time where I felt depressed or down but I have this eternal flame of optimism inside me. If just about everything goes irrecoverably wrong in my life, I'll take all my savings and go bum the world for the next 5 years.
She's lesbian and I think that was around the time she started to realise that fact. Couple that with severe depression, a worthless drunk for a dad, a screwed up family, a weak constitution and I suppose I can begin to understand why she did it. Still, I would never EVER condone or speak positive of it.
As for myself, never crossed my mind. I've had periods of time where I felt depressed or down but I have this eternal flame of optimism inside me. If just about everything goes irrecoverably wrong in my life, I'll take all my savings and go bum the world for the next 5 years.
Forgot to add that my dad right now suffers from severe depression and was on suicide watch earlier this year. On a lot of medication and rarely leaves his room. It's his **** ups from the past haunting him now. Too little too late as nobody in the family bothers much with him. If you've spent the past 25 years doing your best to drive everyone away and act like an untermensch, don't be surprised if the fruits of your labour come calling.
24 hours and 12 hours before his death.
He doesn't look like he's got a care in the world and just doesn't make sense.
I never knew this guy or whatever, but to me he looks incredibly depressed in these pictures.
The smile he has on his face is very forced, you can see it in his eyes.
I've been depressed before and considered topping myself, don't think I was ever serious about it, more from a selfish, melodramatic approach that I wanted to be talked out of it, that sort of thing.
Despite that I was genuinely depressed, sitting under a desk for probably 4 hours plus a day crying, not going out, not eating, sleeping, in counselling, all that.
Anyway, around that time was a family event and there's a picture of me smiling with my little sister and my grandma sent it my mum as a 'nice picture' but my mum couldn't look at it because of the look in my eye.
Looking at that picture you've just posted reminded me loads of it.
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Go for it, you won't upset me, I give you the POWA.
Anyway, it could be that we have found the reason.
Since the age of 14 he has been smoking dope very regularly but hasn't been able to afford any for a while so could have been on a massive come down.
Quite common with that age group according to the Coroner.
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If that's the reason it's absolutely beyond depressing. 
At least it gives you some answers.
At least it gives you some answers.
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Some people just cannot talk about certain things with other people......no ones fault.
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I don't really feel like I have any experiences, knowledge or qualifications to be talking about suicide. One thing that I haven't seen mentioned however is that you said he was in a car crash a few days earlier and rolled down a banking.
Maybe something happened in the crash that made him think that he should have died then and had somehow cheated death. Perhaps combined with a random combination of other events during the day (maybe some near misses in traffic, etc) he thought it was time to leave.
My above suggestion might sound like a movie plot but thought i'd put it out there anyway.
Maybe something happened in the crash that made him think that he should have died then and had somehow cheated death. Perhaps combined with a random combination of other events during the day (maybe some near misses in traffic, etc) he thought it was time to leave.
My above suggestion might sound like a movie plot but thought i'd put it out there anyway.
I agree with this, he doesn't look happy to me in these pictures. Its very sad that someone feels that there is nothing left to live for
If by 'dope' you mean cannabis, then there aren't physical withdrawal symptoms. It's often prescribed for depression in places where it's allowed to be.
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While I'm fortunate enough to have never considered it, I've known a fair few people who have tried at few times.
Growing up in a household with a family member with paranoid schizophrenia (coupled with clinical depression) gives you a nack & handling those with mental illness/depression/suicide attempts.
One thing from personal experience I can say for certain is how incredibly fast a person can deteriorate (mentally) - I've seen a close family go from perfectly normal one day to sectioned the next due to being too high risk to themselves (not after causing considerable permanent harm to themselves).
All of us handle depression/death/suicide differently - I honestly think I'm immune from depression (blunted emotions, so never really sad or really), I don't ever feel sad enough to get depressed.
If one can be at one end of the spectrum it makes sense for another to be very genetically/environmentally vulnerable to it.
It could also be the general stress of life, some people find it much harder to cope with the day to day grind of modern life - society forces a "one size fits all" structure but many won't fit into it.
Some of us are lucky & don't have to battle it, others have to & are fortune enough for a random chance situation stopping them, or being lucky enough to have the coping mechanisms required to handle it.
Which sadly leaves the people who didn't have random chance or the coping mechanisms required to stay with us.
You need to ask people who don't know that he passed, as now you will be looking for depression/signs.
The fact you know it happened biases your point of view (anchor effect iirc), he may have been fine then & had a moment of vulnerability & little self control.
Growing up in a household with a family member with paranoid schizophrenia (coupled with clinical depression) gives you a nack & handling those with mental illness/depression/suicide attempts.
One thing from personal experience I can say for certain is how incredibly fast a person can deteriorate (mentally) - I've seen a close family go from perfectly normal one day to sectioned the next due to being too high risk to themselves (not after causing considerable permanent harm to themselves).
All of us handle depression/death/suicide differently - I honestly think I'm immune from depression (blunted emotions, so never really sad or really), I don't ever feel sad enough to get depressed.
If one can be at one end of the spectrum it makes sense for another to be very genetically/environmentally vulnerable to it.
It could also be the general stress of life, some people find it much harder to cope with the day to day grind of modern life - society forces a "one size fits all" structure but many won't fit into it.
Some of us are lucky & don't have to battle it, others have to & are fortune enough for a random chance situation stopping them, or being lucky enough to have the coping mechanisms required to handle it.
Which sadly leaves the people who didn't have random chance or the coping mechanisms required to stay with us.
The problem is,I agree with this, he doesn't look happy to me in these pictures. Its very sad that someone feels that there is nothing left to live for
You need to ask people who don't know that he passed, as now you will be looking for depression/signs.
The fact you know it happened biases your point of view (anchor effect iirc), he may have been fine then & had a moment of vulnerability & little self control.
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This is pretty much a myth. The cause may well be psychological, but the resulting symptoms are very physical. Ask any regular smoker about withdrawal symptoms and they'll talk about sweats, mood swings, depression headaches, insomnia and lack of appetite.
I guess you'll never know for sure. There was a boy in my school who killed himself under very strange circumstances. He didn't leave a note, but they found his reasoning in his diaries. It made the national news at the time.
He was in the year below me. Not the school mentioned in the article... he changed school a year or two beffore his GCSEs. I used to do afterschool activities with him like chess-club and orchestra, and from what I remember he was the best violin player in the school, and pretty much unbeatable at chess. He seemed perfectly normal. A bit quiet and nerdy, but there were lots of boys like that in my school.
Anyway here's the article.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/brilliant-pupils-logical-suicide-1188778.html
Strange as I had withdrawal symptoms while smoking it as well as overwhelming depression and anxiety
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