The big children debate

oulton · 17 Jun 2013 at 22:59

Having kids is awesome because:

It is very challenging. From the changes during pregnancy, to the gut wrenching intensity of the delivery, to every day from the birth, you are now challenged in a way unlike anything before. But the challenges bring such rewards. Imagine seeing the best parts of yourself and the woman you adore in this super cute little sweet baby that learns new things every day and smells like freshly churned butter.

Plus if you have a boy, just imagine all the awesome hobbies you cAn do together! Fishing, hang gliding, tinkering with cars, you name it! Then there is the perfect excuse to buy all the toys you will ever want! RC choppers, Lego mind storms, anything!

People who say they would rather go the pub and play golf than have kids, what drivvel can't you do both? If your salary means choosing, work your butt off and earn more cheddah!

Nitefly · 17 Jun 2013 at 23:05

[FnG]magnolia;24470702 said:
In a happy coincidence the people who are militantly anti-children havers are exactly the same people who should not have kids.

Everyone wins

Ha, neat observation

Hades · 17 Jun 2013 at 23:16

Swarfega said:
I look forward though to get though these tougher early years!

Um, do you really think the tougher years are the early ones?

smelly_legend · 17 Jun 2013 at 23:25

[FnG]magnolia;24470702 said:
In a happy coincidence the people who are militantly anti-children havers are exactly the same people who should not have kids.

Everyone wins

what about people who treat their kids like crap?

[FnG]magnolia · 17 Jun 2013 at 23:32

smelly_legend said:
what about people who treat their kids like crap?

I conveniently ignored them because it would have ruined my sentence.

smelly_legend · 17 Jun 2013 at 23:53

[FnG]magnolia;24470955 said:
I conveniently ignored them because it would have ruined my sentence.

fair dos

krooton · 18 Jun 2013 at 06:26

oulton said:
People who say they would rather go the pub and play golf than have kids, what drivvel can't you do both? If your salary means choosing, work your butt off and earn more cheddah!

Or don't have kids, keep your level of work acceptable, and still be able to afford the things you want?

I'd be a crap dad from a boy hobby perspective. My son would almost be guaranteed to have an interest in football (even if by way of society) and I don't give a monkeys about it. I also don't care much for cars, in fact the only vaguely stereotypical masculine interest I have is computers.

King Damager · 18 Jun 2013 at 07:06

I feel like I'll start to consider it at 28, other factors dependent. That said, I'm not that age yet....

Anyway, I still support the idea that the only realise guys want kids is so they can play the games, build Lego etc... 'With' their kids....

kd

Skidder · 18 Jun 2013 at 07:43

King Damager said:
I feel like I'll start to consider it at 28, other factors dependent. That said, I'm not that age yet....

Anyway, I still support the idea that the only realise guys want kids is so they can play the games, build Lego etc... 'With' their kids....

kd

I wouldn't get too excited, you have the duplo years first.

MookJong · 18 Jun 2013 at 08:15

I really couldn't see myself with a child until a couple of years ago when I fell in love and wanted to get married. I also realised that living a selfish existence where my life was all about me was actually going to be pretty unfulfilling by the time I hit 50.

A lot of people don't know how to act around kids because they are still a teenager inside and all self concious. It is a matter of growing up and being a man I think, some people just want to be boys with toys all their lives.

It is best that children do not bring up children.

malachi · 18 Jun 2013 at 08:20

Some interesting points in this thread, as Ive stated in previous threads, I dont want or have any interests in having kids. Still feel I'm too young and have a life to live even though I be 30 this year.

But a question for those who are fathers to their lovely bundles of joy, whose decision was it to have kids? Both of yours or was it a case of "oooppsss my misses is pregnant, going to keep the baby anyway"

Most of my friends who are fathers or about to become one seems like it always the decision of their other halves, not joint. As if the were pressured or because their misses was getting "old" (mid 20's) they need to have a baby, not for the sake of starting their own family. Which i can see the single parent or having multiple kids by different women culture coming into play.

krooton · 18 Jun 2013 at 08:29

MookJong said:
I really couldn't see myself with a child until a couple of years ago when I fell in love and wanted to get married. I also realised that living a selfish existence where my life was all about me was actually going to be pretty unfulfilling by the time I hit 50.

A lot of people don't know how to act around kids because they are still a teenager inside and all self concious. It is a matter of growing up and being a man I think, some people just want to be boys with toys all their lives.

It is best that children do not bring up children.

And here is a prime example of that superiority thing the OP gets agitated by.

garak112 · 18 Jun 2013 at 08:33

malachi said:
Most of my friends who are fathers or about to become one seems like it always the decision of their other halves, not joint. As if the were pressured or because their misses was getting "old" (mid 20's) they need to have a baby, not for the sake of starting their own family. Which i can see the single parent or having multiple kids by different women culture coming into play.

Most of the people I know with kids (mid twenties) happened 'by accident'. In one couple the girl stopped using contraception because she was worried she was about to get dumped, now the guy is tied down.

My older sister was vehemently anti children and was forever telling people she wasn't letting societies demand for her to have a baby interrupt her life and career. She got engaged and told her fiancé that she was never having kids (he was upset about this). Then she turned 28 and suddenly everything changed, she switched jobs to a teacher so she got better maternity pay and is now getting ready to put a bun in the oven.

It is surprising how quickly things change when people think the option is getting away from them.

mothermachine · 18 Jun 2013 at 08:35

I've got 2 very young kids - one is 7 months the other 19 months. Fact is, they grow up SO fast you wouldn't believe it. I know that I'll blink and suddenly they'll be in nursery, then school, then boom they've moved out. Kids are only crying and in nappies for a very short time - then it's the long, slow process of maturing as a person out in the world. I think people overthink these things a bit and imagine that their lives will be totally ruined/transformed when they have kids - yes of course your life will change hugely but it's not like you can't ever go to the cinema or gigs or play video games again... you just have to readjust your timing and expectations and try to fit your kids around your lives, not visa versa.

MookJong · 18 Jun 2013 at 08:38

krooton said:
And here is a prime example of that superiority thing the OP gets agitated by.

I used to feel like the OP, and for me I know why that was.

10 years ago I would not have been a good father, I didn't have enough life experience and was still very selfish.

Admiral Huddy · 18 Jun 2013 at 08:49

[FnG]magnolia;24470955 said:
I conveniently ignored them because it would have ruined my sentence.

haha one of your better posts. Made me laugh

Lord-Jaffa · 18 Jun 2013 at 09:03

Probably for the best that some people in this thread never reproduce, even though I can guarantee that their hatred of children would not extend to their own.

stuie · 18 Jun 2013 at 09:17

Lord-Jaffa said:
Probably for the best that some people in this thread never reproduce, even though I can guarantee that their hatred of children would not extend to their own.

You see that comes across as like your acting all superior you shouldn't have kids cause your not good enough type attitude and thats what really upsets me, that those with kids believe they are in some way better people because they have them.

This way of thinking also extends to single and hooked up people, dont get me wrong im with someone but god sometimes do I wish I was single, yet some people in relationships seem to be well I'm seeing someone if your not what's wrong with you?

MookJong said:
It is best that children do not bring up children.

See that does **** me off, what makes you think that people without kids arnt responsible adults, cavemen beating rocks to make fire where able to reproduce, 90% of council house scummers have managed to find a way to do it multiple times often outside of any real relationship. If anything me not having kids means I'm more evolved and responsible than you are, or maybe inventing fire is still on your to do list?

MookJong said:
I used to feel like the OP, and for me I know why that was.

10 years ago I would not have been a good father, I didn't have enough life experience and was still very selfish.

Still though again that makes it sound like you are in someway better than people that don't because you are more grown up and responsible, I have the responsibilities of a job, a house, Ive got a pet rottie that I walk feed and look after, what makes having children mean you are the next step up in evolution?

elmarko · 18 Jun 2013 at 09:35

Each to their own really - not everybody should have kids, or would naturally want to have them.

Better for people to be honest & do the things in life they want (either way), besides - we need a percentage of people not to have children to reduce population growth anyway.

On a side note, having children doesn't make you less selfish, looking after you own genetic stock isn't alturistic & being a doting parent doesn't make a person automatically "not selfish" (as your own children are you own vested interest).

yer_averagejoe · 18 Jun 2013 at 09:44

stuie said:
cavemen beating rocks to make fire where able to reproduce, 90% of council house scummers have managed to find a way to do it multiple times often outside of any real relationship. If anything me not having kids means I'm more evolved and responsible than you are, or maybe inventing fire is still on your to do list?

*Tries to argue against being childish by making childish remarks*