*** The Definitive Nerdy Science Jokes Thread ***

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Where does bad light end up?
In a prism!
 
How do you make a hormone?
Kick her in the shin.

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What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips!

What can't you trust atoms?
They make up everything!
 
Heisenberg is driving down a motorway and gets pulled over by the police. The police officer asks "Can you tell me what speed you were travelling at, sir ?" and Heisenberg replies "No, but I can tell you exactly where I am."
 
Several scholars were asked "What is 2+2?" The engineer whips out his calculator and answers "3.99" The physicist pulls out some technical references, models the problem on the computer and proudly announces "The answer is between 3.98 and 4.02" The statistician replied "I need more data points" The philosopher replies "What is the meaning of 2?" The psychologist replies "How does 2+2 make you feel?" The medical student replies "4" The others look at him and ask "How do you know?" He replies "I memorized it"
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A Higg's Boson walks into a Catholic Church but the priest says, "Sorry, a service is about to begin, you'll have to leave". The Boson replies, "But you can't have mass without me".
 
Tuppy_Glossop said:
A Higg's Boson walks into a Catholic Church but the priest says, "Sorry, a service is about to begin, you'll have to leave". The Boson replies, "But you can't have mass without me".
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This would be funny if it mentioned the Higgs field instead of the Higgs boson. A common error. :o:o:o:o
 
What do we do with a dead chemist? Barium.

Why can't programmers tell the difference between Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT31 = DEC25.
 
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