*** The Definitive Nerdy Science Jokes Thread ***

[chrisoverson]

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi! Ba-dum-tisss

 

[Sheff]

Adenosine Triphosphate walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a pint?"

The bartender replies, "For you, 80p."

 

[Skeeter]

If you install windows in French it runs faster.

Actual 'on the train' lol. People are looking at me funny.

 

[Cosimo]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

 

[Skeeter]

Has anyone else read this thread as if it was being read out by a drunk Sheldon Cooper?

 

[The__Malteser]

"Theophany funnies"
or
"Theofunny"


?

Theofanny?

----

Algorithm

A word used by programmers when they do not want to explain what they did.

 

[Cosimo]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

 

[Ryan-3]

Adenosine Triphosphate walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a pint?"

The bartender replies, "For you, 80p."

I HATE HOW I UNDERSTAND THIS.

Damn Biology to hell.

 

[JeditOjanen]

A slight divergence.

Nietzsche, Aristotle and Descartes walk into a bar. Aristotle asks whose round it is, and Nietzsche says, "It's Rene's". "I think not", replies Descartes, and vanishes.

 

[Cosimo]

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven eight nine.

Q: How do you make a Hormone?
A: Don't pay her.

Q: How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
A: You pull down their genes.

 

[The Dread Pirate]

I'll have H20 too!

 

[Turambar]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A mixture of water and a tooth.

 

[JeditOjanen]

Chemistry: if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Heisenberg was bowling down the autobahn one day when a policeman pulled him over.

"Sir", the policeman said angrily, "do you know how fast you were going?"

"No", Heisenberg replied. "But I do know where I am."

 

[TrojanWhore]

why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
a: to get to the same side

a nice nerdy limerick:
Johnny was a chemist's son, but Johnny is no more,
'cause what he thought was H2O, was H2SO4

 

[Bes]

If you install windows in French it runs faster.

I don't get it...

 

[Freakbro]

Serotonin and Dopamine : Technically the only two things you enjoy...