The disappearance of Nicola Bulley

Of course the obvious GD suspects are Brexit, Boris, Donald Trump or the Tesla bloke.

Hmm actually now you mention it
A rubber boat load of immigrants may have grabbed her I mean its by water!!!111!!!!1!!, whilst simultaneously taking her job, claiming a free council house and benefits.
I bet they were woke, unsure of their sex, tofu eaters as well!

Maybe the xenophobic anti rubber boat lot were right after all.

Yes, GD indeed.
 
Abduction by UFO.

The dog ate her.

Owed money to the Mexican Cartel and they came to collect.

Doing a Shannon Matthews and hiding under somebodies bed.

Could be any of the above.
 
She didn't own a canoe did she?

But seriously, this is a really bizarre case. No way she fell in the river, she'd have been found pretty quickly.
 
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There is a mobile "home" park and a caravan park right on scene too.
Given we all know what types frequent these establishments, I would be widening my enquiries to them also.
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Also the river sits behind a high bank, which obscures it from the mobile home park (and any eyes), so would be easy to conduct misdeeds without being seen at that particular river bend. Same for the opposite side of the bank too, then out to expansive fields.
I would also call this a snatchable location:
 
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There is a mobile "home" park and a caravan park right on scene too.
Given we all know what types frequent these establishments, I would be widening my enquiries to them also.
2_MAINGRABS-Wayne-Rooney-unrecognisable-living-in-caravan-with-bushy-beard-in-World-Cup-ad.jpg
 
Has there been a "migrant" hotel open up in the local area recently?

Quite possibly, with well over 200 hotels being paid well over 1.3 billion pounds a year to house migrants you won't have to look far to find one. Being the future backbone of the UK workforce though, they'll soon pay the government back of course....
 
Quite possibly, with well over 200 hotels being paid well over 1.3 billion pounds a year to house migrants you won't have to look far to find one. Being the future backbone of the UK workforce though, they'll soon pay the government back of course....
this is not the thread for your racist beliefs.
Also even at 300 hotels being used, its not exactly one on each street corner now is it.
 
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