The Good Friday joke thread!
- Thread starter RomanNose
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God Loves Drunk People Too
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife...."Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloomin'well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
"God loves drunk people too you know."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife...."Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloomin'well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
"God loves drunk people too you know."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..
Soldato
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Enough with the gay jokes! Come on guys!
I don't think there's anything wrong with this one. I was not complaining about the resurrection, I was just commenting that this one was dead for 3 days and then rose again. Just like our Lord, Raptor Jesus who went extinct for your sins.
Soldato
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I laughed at this one, enjoyed it.
I was trying to think of a decent joke for "Good Friday" but couldn't nail itYou really nailed that one
Soldato
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Everyone elses sins but not yours?
Difficult to say really, it's one of those philosophy things. I've never sinned, but if I was to sin in the future then Raptor Jesus's extinction would be for my sins too, but since I've never sinned and can't see myself ever sinning I don't know if that's right.
Raptor Jesus did go extinct for your sins though, you dirty boy.
Soldato
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verb, preposition, noun? So gay.
Soldato
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Difficult to say really, it's one of those philosophy things. I've never sinned, but if I was to sin in the future then Raptor Jesus's extinction would be for my sins too, but since I've never sinned and can't see myself ever sinning I don't know if that's right.
Raptor Jesus did go extinct for your sins though, you dirty boy.
Don't believe in it, won't affect me.
I was just questioning as I've only ever heard it refered to as "our sins" as in reference to humanities sins in general and all those that sinned before jesus.
Soldato
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And I' admit I've been a ****** idiot. I was reading raptor as in the thing where the bodies ascend.
I've been sleepy and light headed all day, leave me alone!
