The key to finding what makes you happy?

sigma · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:15

tisonlyme said:
I used to be a bit like that, always wanting a better job, always wishing I had more money. But after getting spectacularly dumped at the beginning of last year, I knew I didn't want to mope around and was fed up with feeling sorry for myself, so I changed my outlook on life, decided I'd be more positive about the things I do have, rather than the things I don't.

And to tell you the truth, I'm happier now than I've ever been!

So you forced yourself to be happy? Surely it can't be that easy, well not for everyone.

St0rmer66 · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:24

silane said:
So you forced yourself to be happy? Surely it can't be that easy, well not for everyone.

It really is, most obstacles to it are only in your head. Anyone can be happy, there is no better cure than just DOING IT. I must say it has helped having a friend starting the same process as me at the same time. We bounce ideas off each other all the time.

strudey · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:25

silane said:
So you forced yourself to be happy? Surely it can't be that easy, well not for everyone.

Being happy with what you've got is what happiness is all about. If you're always chasing the next thing, experience, whatever, you'll never be happy. This don't mean you shouldn't chase things; but you should not rely on something in your future to make you happy. Happiness is a state of mind. Comes from inside. Inside your brain.

tisonlyme · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:26

silane said:
So you forced yourself to be happy? Surely it can't be that easy, well not for everyone.

Of course not, you can't force yourself to be happy, but its all about the way you look at things. Its a tough one to explain really...

sigma · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:28

strudey said:
Being happy with what you've got is what happiness is all about. If you're always chasing the next thing, experience, whatever, you'll never be happy. This don't mean you shouldn't chase things; but you should not rely on something in your future to make you happy. Happiness is a state of mind. Comes from inside. Inside your brain.

It's not the chasing things that's the issue (for me anyway) or lack of money or job or anything. Infact I don't know what the issue is, if I did know then i'd do something to change it.

St0rmer66 said:
It really is, most obstacles to it are only in your head. Anyone can be happy, there is no better cure than just DOING IT. I must say it has helped having a friend starting the same process as me at the same time. We bounce ideas off each other all the time.

Doing what though? Walking around thinking, I must be happy I must be happy?

Sinque · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:31

If there was a specific way surely nearly everyone would be happy?

sigma · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:33

I suppose it depends what you mean by "happy" too.

tisonlyme · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:33

silane said:
It's not the chasing things that's the issue (for me anyway) or lack of money or job or anything. Infact I don't know what the issue is, if I did know then i'd do something to change it.

In what way are you unhappy?

If you want a quick burst of happiness, a good tip is to just sit there and smile to yourself. It sounds a bit daft, but physically having a smile on your face really does give you a lift - they have groups for it and everything!

sigma · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:39

tisonlyme said:
In what way are you unhappy?

No idea really :confused:

strudey · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:39

Sinque said:
If there was a specific way surely nearly everyone would be happy?

Not if it was really difficult!

St0rmer66 · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:49

I never said it was easy, not like flicking a switch anyway. But it all comes from yourself.

Also, it's not as easy as "just" reading a book, you have to actually do what it says! It is a process, not a miracle cure.

sigma · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:55

St0rmer66 said:
Also, it's not as easy as "just" reading a book, you have to actually do what it says! It is a process, not a miracle cure.

For sure. It's a lot easier said than done, and different people need different things to make them happy, it's just finding out what. Difficult subject to talk about on a forum too.

MiNxYyY · 2 Jan 2009 at 18:56

Alcohol.

Lumeycom · 2 Jan 2009 at 20:37

I think asking here is the wrong thing to do, the quickest way to make yourself unhappy is to try and 'comply' to what is the believed norm. You have to find your own little place in life where you are happy and accept that its not all going to be good. Just work to make the good bits good enough that they negate the bad.

I've spent too long in my life trying to fit in but I generally dont. So, i've given up with that whole "being part of the gang" malarky and am now content with a few very good close friends. I've got a decent job that stretches and challenges me constantly and i've a reasonable life outside of work (money is a bit too tight for comfort, but I have what i have and i'll not get caught up in wishing for more).

dangerstat · 2 Jan 2009 at 20:39

It's scientific fact that happiness is almost perfectly correlated to the number of bubbles on bubble wrap you burst per week

Kell_ee001 · 2 Jan 2009 at 20:42

As with everything, it's about balance

Finding the balance that works for you is the hard part

digisatman · 3 Jan 2009 at 01:15

St0rmer66 said:
Recently, reading a book about how to improve your life has made me very happy indeed. I feel like a new person (though it's still taking a lot of work!).

which books that? sounds like a keeper!

digisatman · 3 Jan 2009 at 01:16

Kell_ee001 said:
As with everything, it's about balance Finding the balance that works for you is the hard part

but for too many people, its about the bank balance...

Sic · 3 Jan 2009 at 01:17

Do exactly the opposite of the things that make you sad. Anything and everything you can. That's what worked for me.

The Halk · 3 Jan 2009 at 01:25

For me it's having my own space, working as short hours as a full time job goes, being financially secure, seeing my family often, and having a partner that's away most of the time. The word loner has a lot of negatives around it, but it's probably what I am. I enjoy company, but I do like not having to answer to anyone often.

It's different for everybody, but don't just go with what society tells you. I was in (different) relationships from when I was 16 until I was 21 before I realised I hated it. Now I have a much more casual relationship.

Self discipline is a key thing too, actually doing what you want to do rather than vegetating in front of the TV from apathy.