The salary question?

[kai]

Seen a few posts recently over the last few days about members posting salaries, take home, annual incomes, investments etc. A friend started a new job last week and during a load of us catching up on the weekend via Zoom, the first question he got asked by a friend was “so, how much are you making, then!”.

The question, changed the tone of the call among the group. I have friends who are very open and honest about it while others hold it as a guarded secret and go into shut down mode.

Talking about salary-related finances is awkward. I always consider this almost taboo and tend to avoid the question other than saying the market average.

How open are you with friends and I guess family members about your take-home salary? Do you know how much your siblings earn etc?

 

[Dis86]

I've always been open. But then I'm transparent with my friends and I don't see any shame whichever way it goes.

 

[VincentHanna]

I don't discuss it, and neither do most of my friends.

Though there's been the odd occasion where one or two have mentioned massive pay rises, usually when drunk.

 

[Hades]

Surely all he had to say was "I was happy enough with the salary to take the job".

 

[randomshenans]

Fairly open here. Not ever in a bragging way, my friend group here is likely on similar, for the most part, and normally it comes up in a way to help benchmark what we should be looking at. For example friends who used to work where I work now would tell me what they were on when they were here and the level, so it's easy to work out what level it should be. I don't see any issue in it, but Englishness is very much "can't talk about it" and find it very private. At the same time you get loads of people getting all bent out of shape if they do get told. Jealousy is a ****** thing.

 

[wingman]

My salary is shared with close family and friends, but that conversation typically comes up organically.

It's actually particularly liberating just saying it out loud, it's a very British thing to be hush-hush about it. For obvious reasons I don't ever discuss with colleagues unless they already know (payroll, HR, my manager). Although ultimately I think this information should be more readily available too.

If more of us were open there'd be a greater amount of exposure against those clearly paid too much, and those not paid enough I think. Whether that would change anything I don't know.

Weird to ask someone directly though, what's all that about? So they're able to judge them against themselves on the social/economic ladder maybe?

Assuming the person who asked the question was male?

 

[SixTwoSix]

A few of my friends are in the same workplace on lower salaries and I find it uncomfortable saying how much I earn.

 

[VincentHanna]

Fairly open here. Not ever in a bragging way, my friend group here is likely on similar, for the most part, and normally it comes up in a way to help benchmark what we should be looking at. For example friends who used to work where I work now would tell me what they were on when they were here and the level, so it's easy to work out what level it should be. I don't see any issue in it, but Englishness is very much "can't talk about it" and find it very private. At the same time you get loads of people getting all bent out of shape if they do get told. Jealousy is a ****** thing.

That only applies if all your friends are in the exact same industry though.

 

[wingman]

A few of my friends are in the same workplace on lower salaries and I find it uncomfortable saying how much I earn.

Presumably they don't do the same as you?

My salary was exposed at work a few years back and I'd heard a few people complaining that I shouldn't be on that much at my age, despite me being one of the most qualified people in the entire company.

It's harsh, but I did feel like saying crack on and get some qualifications then.

 

[Ayahuasca]

People usually feel uncomfortable about it if it's an insecurity of theirs or if the whole group never discusses it.

I don't know how much any of my friends make bar one of them who announces his overtime pay as an engineer almost every time we're out It needn't be said that he's a bit of a tool and is an out and out Tory voter because "Labour will rob me via tax".

 

[SixTwoSix]

Presumably they don't do the same as you?

No, i've worked my way up and through quite aggressively despite having no qualifications. I've literally learnt on the job since starting at the bottom on minimum wage 12 years ago with intent of being here just a few months. I get bored easily when stagnating in a position so i've moved both up and laterally 5 times in the last 12 years.

They're still doing what they did when they started...without complaint though I should add. They are happy with what they do, I am the one who's uncomfortable with mentioning salary when they've asked me. I'm on approximately 35-40% higher than them, not massive wages myself compared to a lot here but from where I started, i'm very content.

 

[Rids]

I'd never discuss it in a group situation. I've had one on one chats with close friends where we're discussing broader subjects around where we are in our lives and our future plans and we talking openly about salary but thats it.

 

[LiE]

There are times when I've talked about my salary, mostly my closest friends and family.

I can understand people not wanting to talk about it, for a number of reasons. They may not want to come across as bragging, don't won't to be judged by their 'high' earning friends for being on less, don't want to make their friends uncomfortable if they earn a lot.

I guess many people use their salary as a validation, the more they earn the more then feel they have made it. Conversely if they aren't earning a lot they may feel insecure talking about it.

 

[randomshenans]

That only applies if all your friends are in the exact same industry though.

In that example, but at the same time I share salary with other close friends and they would likewise. Nothing against that.

 

[builder22]

I’d share it with anyone if they asked

 

[Mucky_Pup]

No-ones ever asked me, but I'd tell them if were that interested.

 

[Narj]

Most of my family and close friends have an idea but I don't like discussing numbers with acquaintances or strangers.

It's not an issue at work as everyone on the same grade gets the same pay.

 

[MissChief]

It’s a bit of a taboo subject, especially in my team. We have vastly different experiences and many of us, including myself have been with the company for a decade or more. I think, from hints and conjecture that I’m one of the highest paid in the team so I kind of be quiet whenever anyone mentions wages. I reckon there could be as much as a £7k or even £8k gap between myself and maybe one or two others and some other members of the team.

 

[Josh]

Nah, close mates and family know but I generally don't walk around mentioning it.

I normally just say I'm above market rate in my field.

 

[200sols]

Never talk about it really, its none of their business really. I find the people who shout loudest on this subject are those who want you to know how much money they have.

 

[Vince]

I am open to discussing it if my friends ask but I never bring it up as a topic of conversation myself. My wife knows exactly what I earn, family don't tend to ask a whole lot but i'm sure they roughly know. With my closest mates from school (3 mates plus me) it's been discussed quite a bit as we are all on different paths doing different things and we all take an interest in each others careers and lives. Outside of that I don't really care and it doesn't bother me if somebody asks me what I earn.