This really hurts.

Soldato
Joined
11 Nov 2009
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Location
Edinburgh
It is with great sadness that I must report that my partner Edith died late last night.
She fell ill on Sunday with what we thought was a none to serious exacerbation, but it was felt that attending A&E because of her high temperature was the right thing to do. In fact if she had not thrown up her oral antibiotics she would have come home.
She seemed fine on Monday though the hospital was concerned that her temperature was still high so it was decided to keep her in another night.
I visited her yesterday afternoon and she did not seem well, unable to breath and lay flat for the CT scanner but I was not overly worried thinking that the infection had perhaps not peaked.
I had a phone call at 9pm from her son saying that she was in a very poor way.
I rushed up to the hospital and listened to the Dr's but there was really little to be done.
The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was to watch my darling Edie, my partner for 35 years struggle to breathe, she did not deserve this cruel way to die, the only blessing is she was unaware so did not suffer. Her right lung had collapsed and pneumonia had set in. How this came on so fast was a mystery as there was little on the chest x-ray of Sunday evening.
At least she did not die alone as her son, sister, granddaughter and myself were at her bedside.

I saw the true face of the NHS last night, professional but so caring from the student nurse to the intensive care consultant.

Regards
 
Just been up to the hospital bereavement suite to have a last chat and tell her I was really fortunate to have known and loved her.
I assume they apply makeup as she looked better today than she did last night and I was quite stunned how cold she was.

Was not going to go and see her but glad I did.
 
This maybe a bizarre question but is there some sort of etiquette for what a deceased person wears in her coffin. I have sorted out her favourite dress but should I include bra, pants and tights?
What about shoes or jewellery, the nurses suggested that I remove her gold chain, gold charm bracelet and earrings when Edie died? I gave the bracelet and chain to Edie's 18 year old granddaughter, seemed the right thing to do at the time, now I am not so sure if it was the appropriate time?
 
Contacted these people as although I am handling the practicalities of losing someone, emotionally I am struggling. I don't have family or friends so finding someone to talk to about the injustice of Edie's death is difficult so hoping a complete stranger will help.
Cruse Bereavement Care Scotland (CBCS)
 
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Today at 11am I said final farewell to my partner of 35 years Edith Jolly who died suddenly on the 14th of August. I have chosen these two pieces of music Eva Cassidy with orchestra - Fields of gold for the beginning and Snow Patrol -Chasing Cars for the end.
Being an average bloke I know little of flowers but with the help of a female friend put this together.
I may well get ****** today for the first time in a year or so, have a cry and then close the door on this long chapter of my life.


Edie will be missed greatly.



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Just heard about this and only just joined over here, really sorry for your loss Kronos.

Hope you're muddling through ok mate.
Thanks, now the funeral is over I find I don't have to much time to dwell as dealing with the bureaucratic nightmare that seems to exists when it comes to the death of someone is proving a challenge to put it cleanly. The likes of Amazon and TV License are appalling but I think that this is down to staff training or lack of which makes things so difficult.
 
I am sorry that I have not thanked everyone here for their kind words and support.
Now that the funeral is over I find that the practical side of me has kicked in which means I do not have a lot of time to question the un-justness of her death and whether anything I could have done when she first fell ill on the Sunday before here sudden death or in fact the months before could have prevented the outcome.

Once again many thanks.
 
Things took an unpleasant and frankly unnecessary turn a few months after Edie's death though to he honest the signs were there almost from the death itself and that was the behaviour of her son Steven, a banker though as it turns out changing the first letter would be more applicable.

Anyway he decided that his mother's small estate around £26,000 should go to his sons, because he stated in an email that this was what his mother woukd have wanted my 37 years of being her partner were to be ignored. I questioned how he could possibly know what his mother wanted seeing as she was fortunate to see him 5/6 times a year even though he lives and works in the same city as his mother. He decided that curtailing any further communication with me was the way forward.

I decided that using section 29 of the Families Act Scotland 2006 was the way to go and engaged a lawyer to take the natter forward. Long story short, Steven met with my lawyer yesterday and made the expected offer of £2000, after my lawyer informed him that under the act I was entitled to half after after much haggling the sum of £11000 was offered which no accepted after cost I will receive a little over £ 10,000.

This sort of action should not have bern necessary, the fault in the first instance lies with Edie and myself for not getting married even if all that meant was a couple of neighbours and a registry office, then of course we have the unpleasantness of Steven, we have never got on for many reasons so I suppose his behaviour was not really unexpected, shame though.

So you older unmarried folk think very hard about what could happen if one of you die and you do not have your affairs in order, you really do not need this sort of **** in an already unpleasant time in your life.
 
An utter **** move by the son. Sorry that this has dragged things out for you..

It shouldn't be necessary to be wed in cases such as this in the eyes of the law. Myself and my partner have no real desire to do the marriage thing personally.

It was only in 2006 that those that cohabit got some small support in law but you only have 6 months to make a claim and of course engaging a lawyer does not come cheap. I was quoted from £3000 pound an hour to £250 an hour for their services.
Who says the law is not just for the rich.
 
Having a will in order would have sorted this. After the panic we had with my FIL (not going into details) my parents got their sorted quickly because this is never nice.
Unfortunately we had arranged to have wills done but unfortunately she died before the appointment.
 
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