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Cosimo

Cosimo

Cosimo

Man of Honour
Joined
9 Jan 2007
Posts
164,721
Location
Metropolis
Women’s Favourite Men:

The Doctor because he says, Take off your clothes.

The Dentist because he says, Open Wide.

The hairdresser because he says, Do you want it teased or blown.

The Milkman because he says, Do you want it in front or in back?

The Interior Decorator because he says, Once you have it all in, you’ll love it.

The Banker because he says, If you take it out to soon, you’ll lose Interest.

The Police Officer because he says, Spread ‘em.

The Mailman because he always delivers his package.

The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.

The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.
 
that was just awful can i has my time back please. You can send it back via paypal or bank trans :D
 
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I've never ever commented in a Joke thread - some are good, some horrible. This just finds a whole new level of sadness. I'm ashamed to be a part of OCUK right now because of "jokes" like these.
 
Okay, some more pain:

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they get done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that. "

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over tom the phone.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and it a third time."

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife a third time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this damn hole."
 
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