Thursday Joke

nero120

nero120

nero120

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I dont know if this one has been posted here, but here goes my first joke thread:

A guy goes to see his doctor as he is worried about his leg. The doctor invites him to sit down and asks "Now, what seems to be the problem?"

The man replies "Well... it's a little strange, it's hard to explain. Look, put your ear to my right thigh and you'll understand."

The doctor looks at the man to guage his seriousness. Feeling a little uncomfortable, the doctor puts his ear to the man's thigh and to his astonishment he hears a small voice say "Help me out mate! Lend me 50 quid, go on! Please guv!"

The doctor retreats in surprise and the man says "I told you! But it doesnt stop there, put your ear to my right knee"

The doctor looks at the man again in total confusion, but does as he asks and puts his ear to the mans knee. He hears another little voice say "Give us 20 quid, go on mate, I needs it!"

The doctor looks at the man again, and he says to the doctor "That's not the last of it, put your ear to my ankle"

So once again, the doctor puts his ear to the mans ankle and hears a voice say "Have you got a tenner, go on, give it us us, I just want a tenner!"

So the doctor gets up and sits in his chair to think. After a short time he says to the man "Look, this problem is not written about in any medical book or journal i have ever read, your problem is completely unique. Modern medical science has no explanation for it, so I will have to revert to traditional methods to diagnose you. So, it appears that..."







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[you've done well, just a little further]





























"You're leg is broke in three places"


:D WHAMMMY!
 
surfsquid said:
whilst on the subject:


How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?




It doesn't matter, she can cook in the dark.;)
Click to expand...
Or: None. They just sit in the dark and gripe.

:D

Why are wedding gowns white?

So the bride can match the rest of the appliances.



Why are women's feet so small?

So they can stand closer to the sink.
 
Raist said:
Or: None. They just sit in the dark and gripe.

:D

Why are wedding gowns white?

So the bride can match the rest of the appliances.



Why are women's feet so small?

So they can stand closer to the sink.
Click to expand...

Why are womens arms so short?

so the shopping bags dont trail the ground.

KaHn
 
Three questions:

1.) How did my thread turn into a sexist joke thread?

2.) Why are all your jokes crap?

3.) Why do people continue to post crap jokes when the standard set by the OP was clearly of a high calibre?
 
nero120 said:
Three questions:

1.) How did my thread turn into a sexist joke thread?

2.) Why are all your jokes crap?

3.) Why do people continue to post crap jokes when the standard set by the OP was clearly of a high calibre?
Click to expand...

4) Why does the OP insist his joke was of high calibre when it is obvious to everyone that it was pure poo.

KaHn
 
KaHn said:
4) Why does the OP insist his joke was of high calibre when it is obvious to everyone that it was pure poo.

KaHn
Click to expand...

Why do people with no sense of humour insist on posting in a joke thread?
 
jidh007 said:
1.) First joke was apalling, lightening it up with more amusing ones.
2.) They weren't that bad
3.) Liar
Click to expand...

1.) If you think those others are amusing then you belong in another century.
2.) Yes, they were
3.) Never.
 
KaHn said:
Wow some one has the painters in this week now dont they?

KaHn
Click to expand...

Here is your contribution:

Why are womens arms so short? so the shopping bags dont trail the ground.

My god you really are funny arent you! Please, keep em coming, what a service you provide!
 
nero120 said:
Here is your contribution:

Why are womens arms so short? so the shopping bags dont trail the ground.

My god you really are funny arent you! Please, keep em coming, what a service you provide!
Click to expand...

If you can not already tell, I followed on from the trend of sexes jokes, so you know what you ignorant git.

Bite me.

KaHn
 
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote,

"Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read,

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom."
 
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