Thursday Joke
- Thread starter nero120
- Start date
Man of Honour
monkeypants said:
For crimes against jokes you are hereby banished from this thread, never to return.
A Blonde On Who Want's To Be A Millionaire.
Chris: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - £500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million pounds if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to £32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Chris: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million pounds."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Chris: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Chris: "Hello Maggie, its Chris Tarrant here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on £500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Chris: "Well, do you want to stick on £500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Chris: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Chris: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Chris: "Barbara.....you had £500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION POUNDS!!
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
<<scroll down it's worth it>>
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
Chris: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - £500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million pounds if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to £32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Chris: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million pounds."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Chris: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Chris: "Hello Maggie, its Chris Tarrant here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on £500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Chris: "Well, do you want to stick on £500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Chris: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Chris: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Chris: "Barbara.....you had £500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION POUNDS!!
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
<<scroll down it's worth it>>
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
monkeypants said:What do you get if you cross a bus driver with a hippy?
The Age of Aquari-BUS!
What did the big clock say to the little clock?
Klokkkk!
What did the lemon farmer say to the orange salesman?
Cit-russssss!
You can never banish me!!! Mwahahahaha-ow, my face!
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He got the gas bill.
Soldato
G-MAN2004 said:Why did Hitler kill himself?
He got the gas bill.
lmao!
Man of Honour
nero120 said:Try post #1.
You're having delusions of funny
nero120 said:It was funny! It wasnt the best joke but it got a laugh out of everyone i told it to - maybe its the way i tell em!
mate just accept it, it was the worst joke ive EVER heard. (and monkeypants has been posting, thats how bad it was)
Soldato
fozzybear said:What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip!
Two lepers playing cards. One threw his hand in and the other laughed his head off
Soldato
-74/10monkeypants said:
I'd rather listen to monkeypants than the jim davidson drivel that followed the half decent joke at the top.. I hear blackpool is down a comedian.... they're clearly in here..
anyway
why did the chicken cross the road?
because he left the kettle on
budum-tish
anyway
why did the chicken cross the road?
because he left the kettle on
budum-tish
If we're going into anti-joke territory then here's one:matt100 said:
A man walks into a doctors surgery and says to him "doctor i had this strange feeling in my 'nether regions' the other day and it stopped me from breathing for a while, i panicked about it and had a talk with my wife" and the doctor looks at him puzzled and goes "we'll do some checks but it's pretty plain to see you have aidz and r going to die lolz kthxbye"