Thursday Joke
- Thread starter amaru
- Start date
Soldato
Technically, it was then we shall fight in the shade.
Soldato
Soldato
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute."
The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute."
She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"
The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."
His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute."
The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute."
She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"
The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."
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Wow. Just when you thought this thread couldn't get any less amusing...
Soldato
Caporegime
Soldato
Oh. My. God. Seeing these jokes makes me want to go back to bed and pretend this day never happened.
@ OP, are you as useless at telling jokes in real life as you are at posting them on the interweb? If so, I'm guessing you're a real hoot to be around
Soldato
These threads are great. The joke might be useless, but the amount of replies from people trying to be witty (save paradigm, that was a good one 
) are what truly ruins these threads.
) are what truly ruins these threads.I haven't seen you do anything other than moan. Post a good joke to show us how much of a hoot you are to be around@ OP, are you as useless at telling jokes in real life as you are at posting them on the interweb? If so, I'm guessing you're a real hoot to be around
Soldato
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent b*****," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . you explain the kids."
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent b*****," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . you explain the kids."
Tad harsh.@ OP, are you as useless at telling jokes in real life as you are at posting them on the interweb? If so, I'm guessing you're a real hoot to be around
Now that was good