Tolerance vs Consideration.

Dis86

Dis86

Dis86

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When I was a kid I was always taught that whilst tolerance was important, consideration for others always trumped this.
It's a rule that I've generally lived my life by however I seem to be more and more of a rarity in this respect.

I'll give a prime example, one that others in here have probably dealt with.
Walking by a cafe today I noticed a family with a few kids. The kids were running around the place, bumping against tables and chairs, getting in the way of servers and clearly annoying some of the other patrons. I know the cafe well, it's a lovely quiet place overlooking the sea. Nice atmosphere, good food, stunning views.

Now, when I was a kid my parents would have reigned me in pretty sharpish. A quiet word and a little explanation would have had me understanding it's not a playground and I was disrupting others. These parents did sweet F A. For the time that I was passing one never looked up from her phone and the other was troughing away on a toastie.

I think it's also incredibly evident in driving standards. Right of way just doesn't seem to exist. People will cut you up completely unnecessarily. Another example of mine from yesterday, was out for a great drive on country roads and a woman pulled out in front of me from a side road. She was in a t-roc, not exactly made for twisting, undulating roads and so didn't go above 35. There was nothing behind me. There are plenty of laybys and she could have pulled in to any of them. I do it all the time if I'm in the pickup and there's something quicker that is going to be held up behind me (Which tbh is pretty much anything!). It literally takes seconds. In fact, the gent in the Mondeo that was in front of me before that did just that. Gave me a wave and nod and I gave him a thumbs up. He then pulled out behind me and it cost him no time at all and I was able to push in and have fun.

Consideration. Ain't it great? Why then do so few people seem to possess it anymore? I feel this is one of the reasons, as stated in the declining attitude to law and order thread, that we're seeing the problems in society that we have. Instead of trying to have a better society, tolerance is requiring us to put up with the worst behaviours and attitudes that people exhibit.

Or am I just weird?
 
It is the century of the self (or selfish). People think there is no upside to acting considerately and there is no downside to being a ****.
 
fyi I have a t-roc in the country, it's perfectly able to do twisties heck you can easily do twisties at or above the limit in a hyundia i10 classic. :P
 
Dis86 said:
She clearly couldn't.
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Yeah had that a lot today with all the tourists, there's slow then there's dangerous almost stopping at every bend, refusing to pull into the numerous layby and not giving enough room for bikers to pass and pull in front safely.

There is nothing more annoying then trying to leave your lane and join a main road that has a 2 mile long convoy of vehicles following a small car. Sometimes I think the considerate thing to do would be take their licence and car.
 
These people have always been here. I remember as a kid being stuck behind someone going slow with a mile long queue of cars backed up behind them.

There is one women I see often on the way to work doing it. An obese women in a little hatchback. Though she might be giving it all it's got :D

The best ones are the ones who get annoyed and flash their headlights when you overtake them O_o
 
This morning I went to get my Lego NES and it was busy, a queue was 25 people pretty much all morning and I got there 10min before opening at 9:30am. They only allowed 12 in at anyone time. So after 40min wait I got in at 10am. I wanted to look around and see all the sets in person, big kid in candy store feeling was overwhelming. But seeing the queue outside I got my NES paid and got out of there, went to put it in my car, got a coffee then walked back an hour later when it was quieter. The girl at the door who sanitise all customers going in saw me again and I explained I came back to look again when I’m not holding up others. She said “That’s very (then paused to think of the word)...kind”. I almost jumped in to say “considerate”, but I’ll take kind :)
 
I can't think of a time when it's ever been different. We always think things are getting worse, but in many cases they've always been that way.
 
I think in a similar way. I live next door to a park and there are parents that all meet up and spend time looking at their phones the entire time their kids are running around screaming. I often think that if there was some child abductor going around, would the parents ever notice the difference between the kid running around screaming/playing or screaming because it was being abducted. Sometimes parents do look up and see their children with the "oh aren't they lovely children, that screaming is them expressing themselves" kind of look.

But yes, as a kid I would be told to sit down and stop being a nuisance rather than rushing around whilst my parents were oblivious. Similar happens in supermarkets, the parent is in theory a responsible adult so allowing the kid to scream and shout, jumping up and down in a trolley or running up and down aisles whilst the parent looks at their phone is frustrating - perhaps the parent could also look at the stuff they are intending on feeding said children on, it might help with the Boris fat fighter campaign!

I used to run a department in a supermarket and there was one instance where a mother was arguing with some pretty much innocent person after their child ran into the trolley and started crying, naturally it was the innocent persons fault, checking the CCTV it showed how the stationary trolley had jumped out and attacked the kid. The mother then blamed the supermarket because the kid ran into a trolley, storming off claiming she would never shop there again!

I don't know if it is just me getting old (it is slightly) or that people are becoming less considerate.
 
Jamauk said:
I used to run a department in a supermarket and there was one instance where a mother was arguing with some pretty much innocent person after their child ran into the trolley and started crying, naturally it was the innocent persons fault, checking the CCTV it showed how the stationary trolley had jumped out and attacked the kid. The mother then blamed the supermarket because the kid ran into a trolley, storming off claiming she would never shop there again!
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It's funny you mentioned that, I think I've posted on here previously about a similar one I had. Stood still looking for something on a shelf and a kid ran smack bang in to my leg. Head in contact with my hip. Naturally the kid falls on the floor screaming and then the mother came and started having a go at me for knocking the kid over. Luckily a worker had been stood nearby and had seen it happen and proceeded to put the woman back in her box on my behalf!
 
Jamauk said:
I think in a similar way. I live next door to a park and there are parents that all meet up and spend time looking at their phones the entire time their kids are running around screaming. I often think that if there was some child abductor going around, would the parents ever notice the difference between the kid running around screaming/playing or screaming because it was being abducted. Sometimes parents do look up and see their children with the "oh aren't they lovely children, that screaming is them expressing themselves" kind of look.

But yes, as a kid I would be told to sit down and stop being a nuisance rather than rushing around whilst my parents were oblivious. Similar happens in supermarkets, the parent is in theory a responsible adult so allowing the kid to scream and shout, jumping up and down in a trolley or running up and down aisles whilst the parent looks at their phone is frustrating - perhaps the parent could also look at the stuff they are intending on feeding said children on, it might help with the Boris fat fighter campaign!

I used to run a department in a supermarket and there was one instance where a mother was arguing with some pretty much innocent person after their child ran into the trolley and started crying, naturally it was the innocent persons fault, checking the CCTV it showed how the stationary trolley had jumped out and attacked the kid. The mother then blamed the supermarket because the kid ran into a trolley, storming off claiming she would never shop there again!

I don't know if it is just me getting old (it is slightly) or that people are becoming less considerate.
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In the 80s if parents didn't tell them to shut up, other people would. You can't get away with that now, the absent parents kick off about how you can't tell them how to look after their own brats.
 
Looking after number 1 and not giving a **** what other people think is pretty much a promoted attitude now. Whatever it takes to get ahead or feel above someone for the day.

You have to be massively insecure if someone overtaking you legally causes you to flip out. I've had the odd thick **** swerve out when they can see I'm about to do so. They need a good dig.
 
Ayahuasca said:
You have to be massively insecure if someone overtaking you legally causes you to flip out. I've had the odd thick **** swerve out when they can see I'm about to do so. They need a good dig.
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Ah yes, then there are those that cannot grasp the concept of merge in turn.
 
It's a shame because it's harmful to the children, society forms a bad image of them and proper socialisation doesn't happen.

One of Dr Jordan Peterson's quotes is "Don't let your children do anything that makes you dislike them", for exactly this reason.
 
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