The Phone Call
Ok so I couldn't, in what good conscience I have left, let it ride for any longer. Knowing my mum would be on the warpath I picked up the phone and called.
To say she was in a state would be being economical with the truth. Not only was she bat**** livid with me she also seemed reasonably upset by my marriage, so I'm afraid I won't be posting the recording of the conversation. Mother has managed to catch me out with troll's remorse...
The conversation went like this:
Me: Hi mum, you called?
Ma Theophany: Yes Alex, I did.
Me: What's up?
Ma: What the hell have you gone and done? ...general ranting about how I'm an idiot for throwing my life away and 'how long has this been going on? questions...
It is at this point I can hear my Dad losing his **** in the background and laughing like a lunatic. Eventually after her ranting train loses some momentum and the lightbulb above her head flashes on...
Ma: This isn't for real is it?
At which point I had to come clean because my Dad had ruined the gig. Turns out as soon as he got the email he spotted the troll - clearly all that father-son bonding over the years means he knows me too bloody well! But, what really gets me is that without any instruction or asking from me, he carried the troll on to my mother and *really* poked the bear over the last hour or so.
Apparently he came up with an elaborate story pretty much on the spot about how it has been going on for ages and how he and I discussed it before I got 'married.' He told her that he had paid for some of the wedding, had given me his blessing and had spoken with Jo's parents over it who were over the moon about their daughter marrying me.
Honest to God, I cannot give Pa Theophany enough credit for this. Clearly trolling a genetic trait, because not only did he pick up the baton but he ran the **** out of the race and picked up the gold medal. Top marks.
My mum eventually calmed down enough to see the funny side of it, though she was a little teary from worrying so much about how I was wasting my life! By the end of the conversation she was laughing, albeit very nervously! I think the relief that it was all a joke was starting to set in.
I would have liked to keep it going up to something more epic, such as meeting the in-laws, as somebody had already suggested; it would have been doable as well as our families don't live far from each other at all. But I think taking it that far would likely have resulted in my mother disowning me and never forgiving me for it.
For now, she's alright though. She did however force me to promise over the phone that I wouldn't get married until I was in my thirties... Looks like Jo might have to wait a while
Ok so I couldn't, in what good conscience I have left, let it ride for any longer. Knowing my mum would be on the warpath I picked up the phone and called.
To say she was in a state would be being economical with the truth. Not only was she bat**** livid with me she also seemed reasonably upset by my marriage, so I'm afraid I won't be posting the recording of the conversation. Mother has managed to catch me out with troll's remorse...
The conversation went like this:
Me: Hi mum, you called?
Ma Theophany: Yes Alex, I did.
Me: What's up?
Ma: What the hell have you gone and done? ...general ranting about how I'm an idiot for throwing my life away and 'how long has this been going on? questions...
It is at this point I can hear my Dad losing his **** in the background and laughing like a lunatic. Eventually after her ranting train loses some momentum and the lightbulb above her head flashes on...
Ma: This isn't for real is it?
At which point I had to come clean because my Dad had ruined the gig. Turns out as soon as he got the email he spotted the troll - clearly all that father-son bonding over the years means he knows me too bloody well! But, what really gets me is that without any instruction or asking from me, he carried the troll on to my mother and *really* poked the bear over the last hour or so.
Apparently he came up with an elaborate story pretty much on the spot about how it has been going on for ages and how he and I discussed it before I got 'married.' He told her that he had paid for some of the wedding, had given me his blessing and had spoken with Jo's parents over it who were over the moon about their daughter marrying me.
Honest to God, I cannot give Pa Theophany enough credit for this. Clearly trolling a genetic trait, because not only did he pick up the baton but he ran the **** out of the race and picked up the gold medal. Top marks.
My mum eventually calmed down enough to see the funny side of it, though she was a little teary from worrying so much about how I was wasting my life! By the end of the conversation she was laughing, albeit very nervously! I think the relief that it was all a joke was starting to set in.
I would have liked to keep it going up to something more epic, such as meeting the in-laws, as somebody had already suggested; it would have been doable as well as our families don't live far from each other at all. But I think taking it that far would likely have resulted in my mother disowning me and never forgiving me for it.
For now, she's alright though. She did however force me to promise over the phone that I wouldn't get married until I was in my thirties... Looks like Jo might have to wait a while
