Aye, and by extension chitty-chitty and Joe Macari
Large selection of clans; Di Resta, Franchitti, Di Ponio, Boni and Macari.
Trolling my 'rents.
- Thread starter Theophany
- Start date
Aye, and by extension chitty-chitty and Joe Macari
Large selection of clans; Di Resta, Franchitti, Di Ponio, Boni and Macari.
Ok, so one of my younger brothers just got home and has text me asking why mum is going mental and asking him to check my Facebook and why I'm listed as married. I filled him in on the story and after ****ing himself with laughter, he is playing along. Possibly the first time in my life I'm glad my brother studies drama and is bloody good at acting/ad libbing!! 
The Phone Call
Ok so I couldn't, in what good conscience I have left, let it ride for any longer. Knowing my mum would be on the warpath I picked up the phone and called.
To say she was in a state would be being economical with the truth. Not only was she bat**** livid with me she also seemed reasonably upset by my marriage, so I'm afraid I won't be posting the recording of the conversation. Mother has managed to catch me out with troll's remorse...
The conversation went like this:
Me: Hi mum, you called?
Ma Theophany: Yes Alex, I did.
Me: What's up?
Ma: What the hell have you gone and done? ...general ranting about how I'm an idiot for throwing my life away and 'how long has this been going on? questions...
It is at this point I can hear my Dad losing his **** in the background and laughing like a lunatic. Eventually after her ranting train loses some momentum and the lightbulb above her head flashes on...
Ma: This isn't for real is it?
At which point I had to come clean because my Dad had ruined the gig. Turns out as soon as he got the email he spotted the troll - clearly all that father-son bonding over the years means he knows me too bloody well! But, what really gets me is that without any instruction or asking from me, he carried the troll on to my mother and *really* poked the bear over the last hour or so.
Apparently he came up with an elaborate story pretty much on the spot about how it has been going on for ages and how he and I discussed it before I got 'married.' He told her that he had paid for some of the wedding, had given me his blessing and had spoken with Jo's parents over it who were over the moon about their daughter marrying me.
Honest to God, I cannot give Pa Theophany enough credit for this. Clearly trolling a genetic trait, because not only did he pick up the baton but he ran the **** out of the race and picked up the gold medal. Top marks.
My mum eventually calmed down enough to see the funny side of it, though she was a little teary from worrying so much about how I was wasting my life! By the end of the conversation she was laughing, albeit very nervously! I think the relief that it was all a joke was starting to set in.
I would have liked to keep it going up to something more epic, such as meeting the in-laws, as somebody had already suggested; it would have been doable as well as our families don't live far from each other at all. But I think taking it that far would likely have resulted in my mother disowning me and never forgiving me for it.
For now, she's alright though. She did however force me to promise over the phone that I wouldn't get married until I was in my thirties... Looks like Jo might have to wait a while
Ok so I couldn't, in what good conscience I have left, let it ride for any longer. Knowing my mum would be on the warpath I picked up the phone and called.
To say she was in a state would be being economical with the truth. Not only was she bat**** livid with me she also seemed reasonably upset by my marriage, so I'm afraid I won't be posting the recording of the conversation. Mother has managed to catch me out with troll's remorse...
The conversation went like this:
Me: Hi mum, you called?
Ma Theophany: Yes Alex, I did.
Me: What's up?
Ma: What the hell have you gone and done? ...general ranting about how I'm an idiot for throwing my life away and 'how long has this been going on? questions...
It is at this point I can hear my Dad losing his **** in the background and laughing like a lunatic. Eventually after her ranting train loses some momentum and the lightbulb above her head flashes on...
Ma: This isn't for real is it?
At which point I had to come clean because my Dad had ruined the gig. Turns out as soon as he got the email he spotted the troll - clearly all that father-son bonding over the years means he knows me too bloody well! But, what really gets me is that without any instruction or asking from me, he carried the troll on to my mother and *really* poked the bear over the last hour or so.
Apparently he came up with an elaborate story pretty much on the spot about how it has been going on for ages and how he and I discussed it before I got 'married.' He told her that he had paid for some of the wedding, had given me his blessing and had spoken with Jo's parents over it who were over the moon about their daughter marrying me.
Honest to God, I cannot give Pa Theophany enough credit for this. Clearly trolling a genetic trait, because not only did he pick up the baton but he ran the **** out of the race and picked up the gold medal. Top marks.
My mum eventually calmed down enough to see the funny side of it, though she was a little teary from worrying so much about how I was wasting my life! By the end of the conversation she was laughing, albeit very nervously! I think the relief that it was all a joke was starting to set in.
I would have liked to keep it going up to something more epic, such as meeting the in-laws, as somebody had already suggested; it would have been doable as well as our families don't live far from each other at all. But I think taking it that far would likely have resulted in my mother disowning me and never forgiving me for it.
For now, she's alright though. She did however force me to promise over the phone that I wouldn't get married until I was in my thirties... Looks like Jo might have to wait a while
Post the recording!
I would if I could live with that kind of guilt - the voicemail was one thing but she was all over the place on the phone and I couldn't in good conscience post that one up on the intarwebs. Turns out mothers are much more effective at causing troll's remorse than anybody else!
Thank you so much everybody for your support and stars, literally had to change into my brown trousers when I called my mum earlier!
I've had a few drinks to congratulate myself and my dad has since called back. Apparently my mum slapped him upside the head after I phoned her for being such an alpha troll
I've had a few drinks to congratulate myself and my dad has since called back. Apparently my mum slapped him upside the head after I phoned her for being such an alpha troll
@ Theophany
I notice that you're studying Economics and Politics. You weren't trying that old political trick of leaking to test the water before going ahead for real, were you?..............
Only joking, matey. Excellent troll.
LOL! Yeah, I'd say that particular marriage policy is not going to go down well with the home crowd
I daren't think at this point...
As I said in the OP, the trolling began pretty much the day I was born and my father has been like trolldad ever since; his favourite move was recording himself trolling me as a kid (5-10 yrs old) which has since become trolling me by casually watching it when I bring women home.
Then of course there was the time when he and my mum trolled be a few years back by telling me that they were having another kid and let that one ride for a few days...
My mum also told me I had been baptised and should always behave as a kid because God could now watch everything I did. She didn't come clean on that one until about age 18 when she admitted I hadn't been baptised, she just dunked my head in a sink once as a baby so they could get me into the local school which was C of E... FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU!!
For you OP, you deserve them
Haha, cheers - my dad is from Ilfracombe oddly enough. Used to live in Boni's on St. James' Place if you remember it?