Trouble making friends

It gets hard when a mincer fancies you... you dont want to jack them off, so try to be nice as at the end of the day you can still be friends, just not want sword fights.

Think of it from his angle in that sense.
 
OP's profile says favourite sport cricket.

He is gay.
I suspect he bats for both teams.

possibly a troll account especially as it was his first post , it's a geek forum , he suggests he's aspie/autistic.

is this warehouse a fudge company ? :rolleyes:

Next you will be telling us you like gardening ?
 
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Integrate > Isolate

The latter is where you are, he is feeling threatened probably... try what I said, team meals, team night out... stuff like that.
 
I can't say OP cause I've not met you but I feel your pain, I used to be so deep in my own head and unconfident around people and I had such a hard time relating to anybody especially girls.

I had to do a lot of work on myself to get hell out of it, obviously for you it's a little different. Try expanding your comfort zone approach some girls etc ask people to go out do something or ask them when they are out next and try go along.

Also be honest, really honesty is the best policy here too you should explain to him what problem you have and ask him what he thinks. Or even outright ask him do you think I'm boring? or if he has any advice.

Really it's best thing you can just do, don't sit there awkwardly.

Goodluck.
 
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Number 1. dont worry what people think, especially at work.

Work is full of brown nosing people, you are there to work and collect your wage thats it!

I hardly talk to anyone where i work and just get on and do my thing then go home, some others treat it like a social/fashion event which i think is sad.

Stop analyzing situations and just be yourself.
 
ronnie13 said:
Hello All - Just a quick note I am new to this.....

Lets get the boring bit out the way. I am 21 years old. Most of my life so far I have had problems creating interesting conversations with people. Whenever I try to make friends, they all seem like there getting bored of me and talk to someone else because I don't seem as interesting. I have recently been diagnosed with a condition which affects my thinking and information intake.

Five weeks ago, I started a new job, there is someone I talk to and hang around with at lunch, however I am worried he is getting bored of me already. Some days there will be moments where I manage to make him laugh but a lot of time we'll just try to talk about anything and smile at each other. At lunch, unless I find something that engages him properly into a conversation, he will be constantly on his phone and it feels awkward because I stuggle to make conversation. When we worked in the same department, sometimes we would be in the same corner or something and start following each other round lookig busy if there was nothing to do. two days ago I was moved to a different department and I may be over thinking things but at lunch he's either forgetting to meet up or not wanting to be around me, however I still catch up with him.

He doesn't start any conversations that much either but not sure how to approach thinks. I have searched this in google and I get webpages explaining opening lines and questions when I have probably bombarded him with enough questions already. I go home everyday thinking, ''oh my god, ive talked to him about my view on everything''. I've invited him to the cinema but he said he may watch the film when its out on dvd, that he doesn't get out much and he plays rugby every saturday. Sometimes he will look really happy to see me though which is nice.

I'm in a conversation crisis and want to be friends with him on a bigger scale. Any advice, I would appreciate
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My heart goes out to you as obviously this is troubling you. Some people just won't become good friends no matter how hard one person tries. You've tried your best to become friends and for whatever reason it's not worked out. Don't take it personally and don't assume it's you that's the problem, the other chap might just want to keep work and outside of work apart. Just say hi whenever you see him and get on with life, you can only become good friends if both people want to become friends. For what it's worth I get on with most people but there are some people that don't click with me or I don't click with them, nothing personal it's just the way of things.


^^^^ Wrote that then saw that you like the person "in another way". I suspect he's not that way inclined/doesn't feel the same way back, got the gist of your unsaid intentions, isn't comfortable and doesn't know/want to cause a scene/upset you by rejecting you. I'd suggest leaving the guy alone and move on.
 
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churchhawk said:
Number 1. dont worry what people think, especially at work.

Work is full of brown nosing people, you are there to work and collect your wage thats it!

I hardly talk to anyone where i work and just get on and do my thing then go home, some others treat it like a social/fashion event which i think is sad.

Stop analyzing situations and just be yourself.
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I'd say the opposite, do worry about what people think, especially at work. You don't need to brown nose anyone, you also don't want to be the source of free office entertainment/drama. The worlds a small place, you're young and you'll cross paths in the future with people you've worked with or friends/colleagues in common. Go to work, enjoy it as best you can, collect your wage and live your life outside of work.
 
thank you, everyone. talking about this has really helped me. i will be open about how i find talking difficult. would there be a way i could do this as i dont want to 'weird him out' cos im talking to him about something
 
ronnie13 said:
thank you, everyone. talking about this has really helped me. i will be open about how i find talking difficult. would there be a way i could do this as i dont want to 'weird him out' cos im talking to him about something
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No way to tell everyone is different, if you came up and asked me honestly I wouldn't be weirded out and probably would try give you advice. But that's me and he will react entirely in his own way. Like I said got to just throw it out there and let the chips fall where they may like fightclub says.
 
ronnie13 said:
thank you, everyone. talking about this has really helped me. i will be open about how i find talking difficult. would there be a way i could do this as i dont want to 'weird him out' cos im talking to him about something
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I think he's got the idea you'd like to be "close" friends and isn't interested. If that's your really motive, leave the guy alone and move on. If you genuinely are happy to hopefully be friends then have your chat, I suspect he is already wierded out though.
 
churchhawk said:
Number 1. dont worry what people think, especially at work.

Work is full of brown nosing people, you are there to work and collect your wage thats it!

I hardly talk to anyone where i work and just get on and do my thing then go home, some others treat it like a social/fashion event which i think is sad.

Stop analyzing situations and just be yourself.
Click to expand...
Never understood this mentality. You spend a huge portion of your life at work - why on earth would you try to make it as miserable as you can?
 
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