Two memorable work life lessons?

[Terminal_Boy]

1. Never, ever start helping out another team or doing someone else’s job unless ordered to do so.

2. Should you be ordered to do the above, be of as little use as possible so that you can get back to doing just enough not to get fired from you normal job.

 

[Pigeon_Killer]

1. People die at work, you have to accept it and move on
2. All IT project managers have no idea about IT

 

[malachi]

1. Look forward to retirement.

2. Enjoy retirement.

If you are privileged enough to do so.

 

[Stu999]

1. People die at work, you have to accept it and move on

What job is this? I’m at 0 work deaths in 20 years.

 

[Pigeon_Killer]

What job is this? I’m at 0 work deaths in 20 years.

IT.

Found my manager dead in the office having suffered from an aneurysm in 2010.

 

[Stu999]

IT.

Found my manager dead in the office having suffered from an aneurysm in 2010.

I hope I don’t have to witness something like that.

 

[throwaway4372]

Once was talking to a dude and he was like, yeah so this is an epi-pen, ur gonna sit here and jab me if needed. Brilliant. Thankfully didn't need to.

Worth reading up the instructions for how to use one, it's not that intuitive.

 

[Kelt]

I hope I don’t have to witness something like that.

On my induction at a new job, was introduced to quite a few people, next day someone told me one chap I'd met had died during the night.

Heart attack, bloke in his fifties.

 

[Dis86]

If you wouldn't put your **** there, don't put your finger there.

Promoting incompetence is absolutely a thing.

 

[NickK]

Another one I'm currently stuck in;

If you ever get offered a role that involves going into a company, to fix a huge gigantic mess: It was probably a culture problem in the first place, it won't ever be solved and you'll be dragged down to the same rubbish level that got them there in the first place.

Yup, typically of board making and nothing todo with your scope of control or remit.

It's good sometimes in that role to be a contractor. You can get the wins for everyone, you can try the board changes but you can not renew and that solves the issue.

 

[Jono8]

Don't try. It doesn't pay off. Just be a lazy, feckless grifter like everyone else.

 

[NickK]

I hope I don’t have to witness something like that.

The HR director walked in to witness the office IT manager pleasuring himself. Ok just lightening up the mood slightly.

This leads be to another lesson - don't bother with work relationships, nothing quite as boring as someone continuing to discuss work crap at home, if you need todo some strategic/tactical - pick 30 mins, at the end of the work day.

Now if you're doing 17h days then just know (a) you're a zombie, (b) you're going to sound really interesting and (c) you love the job.

 

[Martynt74]

It's much more fun to spend hours developing complicated methods to enable you to do a boring task in a few minutes than usually takes 20 minutes once a month, even if the payback period would be around 2 years!

 

[Terminal_Boy]

Once was talking to a dude and he was like, yeah so this is an epi-pen, ur gonna sit here and jab me if needed. Brilliant. Thankfully didn't need to.

Worth reading up the instructions for how to use one, it's not that intuitive.

It’s not “Blue to the sky, Red to the thigh” anymore?

 

[throwaway4372]

It’s not “Blue to the sky, Red to the thigh” anymore?

yeah it is, I'd never heard that before though.

and:
- grab the stem, don't put your thumb on the end
- take the blue cap off
- jab it in the side of the thigh, it works through a single layer of clothing
- hold for 3 seconds, then remove, orange bit will cover the needle when removed
- call 999 after using it regardless, because 20% of the time they get a second reaction

so it's quite a few details you wouldn't know unless someone told you.

 

[schnitzellkeppel]

Just as a bit of fun,

What are two simple, work life lessons you've learnt over the years? two things which have stuck with you - maybe there was an incident, somebody got fired or you got a promotion/advancement, and out of it - you learnt something, if so - what was it?

Two of mine are;

Slow and steady wins the race: If I had a pound for every time I've watched someone (includes me at one point) go 'hell for leather' at something, too fast - make a huge mess, miss important details or just add to existing chaos, I'd be very rich.

Perfect is the enemy of good: Sometimes you start out with this perfect vision of something, but after a while the pursuit of perfection simply leads to an overcomplicated mess, or absolutely nothing, where it would have been better to just make something 'half decent' and iterate, to make it 'very good' instead.

Big one really, keep work and personal interests completely separate. I lost my job asking a question about a personal interest, about a historical event, on an internal forum of a customer of my employer.

 

[Steeps]

It's much more fun to spend hours developing complicated methods to enable you to do a boring task in a few minutes than usually takes 20 minutes once a month, even if the payback period would be around 2 years!

It's not just the hours developing the initial process, it's the hours after where you tweak and adjust the process to try and make it more efficient and accurate.

 

[Teknobry]

Big one really, keep work and personal interests completely separate. I lost my job asking a question about a personal interest, about a historical event, on an internal forum of a customer of my employer.

Being nosey now.... What happened exactly?

 

[RobDogDog]

Judge your audience. I’ve got a colleague who speaks technical jargon to people who would struggle to change a TV channel.

Try to learn names of everyone you have contact with from cleaners to CEO’s.

 

[kaiowas]

Never type anything about someone you wouldn’t say to their face. No matter how private you may think the audience is you have no control over where those words go.