Useful things to know in life

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.
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http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-schmich-sunscreen-column,0,4054576.column?page=2
 
Just be ordinary and nothing special. Eat your food, move your bowels, pass water, and when you're tired, go and lie down. The ignorant will laugh at me, but the wise will understand.

...Bruce Lee


My own advice is Why love one, When you can love them all.
 
don't **** on your own doorstep

if somethings too good to be true it usually is!

better to regret things you have done than regret what you haven't
 
The following things have been really important contributors to my personal happiness in the last few years:

1) Regular sleep pattern (get up at the same time even at the weekend).

2) Learn about health. Eat right, get regular exercise.

3) Continue to learn about something - have projects / hobbies.

4) Get your finances under control - get out of debt and start saving.

5) Think about the "meaning of life" and determine your own belief system, whether it's one of the existing ones or a new one. Choose what feels right for you.

6) Donate whatever % of your salary you are comfortable with to a charity of your choice. Start with 1% and increase it by 1% every so often and you won't notice it.

7) Be thankful for the things you DO have (e.g. food, clean water, a roof, a bed).

8) Live in a neighbourhood that's a little cheaper than you could afford (related to #7 - you will resist the natural tendency to envy those who have more).
 
Efour2 said:
hipster, furry, weaboo, ephebophile, farker, juggalo

what the hell are these without me having to gooooogle...
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The only one I know is ephebophile is being sexaully attracted to adolecents/teenagers. The phrase 'jailbait' is a good example to describe what i mean.

as for being a furry, isnt that someone who gets sexaul thrills from dressing up like an animal?

The rest I couldnt even guess at!
 
J.B said:
The only one I know is ephebophile is being sexaully attracted to adolecents/teenagers. The phrase 'jailbait' is a good example to describe what i mean.

as for being a furry, isnt that someone who gets sexaul thrills from dressing up like an animal?

The rest I couldnt even guess at!
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Farker would presumably be someone who frequents the Fark website. Juggaloes are hilarious fans of Insane Clown Posse, one of the most ridiculous rap bands ever. Google juggalette for hideous photos of fat women in black and white circus makeup.
 
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