Valentine's Day

Spursingham · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:16

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I want to **** you with a rake.

Theophany · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:22

Spursingham said:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I want to **** you with a rake.

Hi, yes, we have the results of your test and we'll be sending the men in white round very shortly. They'll provide you with a straitjacket. Try not to resist too much as it will count against you.

pitchfork · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:23

Theophany said:
4T5's got the solution if she doesn't.

Sit in front of the tv drinking and fondling yourself wondering where it all went wrong?

TheVoice · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:25

Roses are expensive,
Violets too dear,
I've sound-proofed the basement,
So nobody will hear.

Admiral Huddy · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:28

Theophany said:
4T5's got the solution if she doesn't.

haha clingfilm is as about the nearest I can get.

zenf · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:34

Roses are lame,
Violets for suckers,
I'm single now,
Sod all you *******.

Theophany · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:35

pitchfork said:
Sit in front of the tv drinking and fondling yourself wondering where it all went wrong?

Hahahaha!! The worst part is that Channel Five doesn't even have porn on a Friday night anymore!

Admiral Huddy said:
haha clingfilm is as about the nearest I can get.

I know a guy, I can hook you up.

(that guy might be 4T5...)

Spursingham · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:41

Theophany said:
Hi, yes, we have the results of your test and we'll be sending the men in white round very shortly. They'll provide you with a straitjacket. Try not to resist too much as it will count against you.

I want my Lawyer.

snips86x · 13 Feb 2014 at 15:48

HAHAHA!!! What did this thread come too! Wrong on so many levels!

Theophany · 13 Feb 2014 at 17:08

This thread came to Fleetwood Mac's 'You Make Lovin' Fun.' Much the same as I did when I lost my virginity, three days ago.

Malevolence · 13 Feb 2014 at 17:30

Let's play doctors and nurses,
To celebrate Valentine's Day.
I'll head off for the golf course,
You stay home and strike for more pay

Theophany · 13 Feb 2014 at 17:33

Malevolence said:
Let's play doctors and nurses,
To celebrate Valentine's Day.
I'll head off for the golf course,
You stay home and strike for more pay

****** brilliant.

4T5 · 13 Feb 2014 at 20:52

My Knees are Red & my Pastys sore
Please release me
I can't take any more.

Canary Wundaboy · 13 Feb 2014 at 22:05

Any psychiatrist reading this thread would be rubbing their hands with glee....

4T5 · 13 Feb 2014 at 22:07

As long as I keep taking my medication & attending my appointments my head doctor leaves me alone.

Theophany · 14 Feb 2014 at 06:52

4T5 said:
As long as I keep taking my medication & attending my appointments my head doctor leaves me alone.

If you could wing a few prescription meds my way I'd appreciate it.

dirtychinchilla · 14 Feb 2014 at 08:15

Happy Valentine's day all you beautiful people

[FnG]magnolia · 14 Feb 2014 at 08:25

Blazin23 said:
Roses are grey.
Violets are grey.
I am a dog.

Jono · 14 Feb 2014 at 09:53

Roses are black
Violets are black
Everything's black
I'm Stevie Wonder

Lysander · 14 Feb 2014 at 09:53

Had I not known
I was already dead
I would have mourned
My loss of life

Valentine's Day

Capodecina