views on casual 'arrangements'

Having a one night stand is all well and good but in my experience you get attached to a regular sex partner and when they do go with someone else you feel horrible and you know there is nothing you can do about it
 
Couldn't do it myself. Get too attached to people too easily!

Had one night stands and dont't like them much either. Current girl is the result of a random conversation while looking for a guy who wanted a fight! How random is that...
 
sr4470 said:
That makes you the first Wiccan I know who isn't promiscuous.
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I am promiscuous in my number of Gods and Goddesses but then they get used to me worshiping whatever one gives me the most Nectar Points.

Different story when it comes to women. :D

I know what you mean though...there was this girl I knew at the Pagan Society when I was a university...wow is all I am saying. She was good though!

Now excuse me but I need to get serious and respond to Gilly.

Gilly said:
There may be an opinion that it is only women that get attached in these situations.

Past threads on here and knowledge from friends and acquaintances tell me that isn't the case.
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Men are capable of forming and do form emotional bonds and fall in love with women who they are "just having sex" with. Men, however, are rubbish at talking about how they feel and would much rather spout rubbish about wanting to just screw as many women as possible.

Sure it is fun to have a bit of uncommitted sex but it is as easy for the man to fall for her as it is the other way round.

Most men on an Internet forum are going to take the hardcore male line as it is the expected thing, even if behind the keyboard they are a caring sensitive man.

In my opinion having just sex is like having steak and just steak for dinner every day. Sure it's great but after a few meals it becomes hollow. It's not until you have the steak, chips and vegetables that you realise how good the meal is.

It is the same with sex. Sure you can do things that make your mother blush but without the emotional attachment it is just steak without the trimmings. In other words incomplete.

However for the very short term it can be fun just watch that you don't get hurt - badly. Takes some recovering when it happens.
 
SuBsTaNcE said:
Having a one night stand is all well and good but in my experience you get attached to a regular sex partner and when they do go with someone else you feel horrible and you know there is nothing you can do about it
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Doesnt need to be a regular sex partner however if two people are mature enough to enjoy each other without becoming emotionally attached then its all good. Everyones a winner - both sides say what they want and its quite clear. No faffing about playing mind games.... And obviously protection is used etc so no worries.

Lots of men and a lot of women like sex with different people - they dont need to know everything about that person. But like i said as long as both people are happy then i dont see a problem. As soon as one person begins to get emotionally attached at all they should stop immediately because clearly that sort of lifestyle isnt for them.
:)
 
Girls need to feel loved to have sex, guys need to have sex to feel loved.
(excluding nymphomaniacs)

99% of the time, one of you will ALWAYS feel more strongly than the other. Only do it if you are sure you arent the one who is going to get hurt, and dont mind the risk of hurting the other person.
 
In my opinion having just sex is like having steak and just steak for dinner every day. Sure it's great but after a few meals it becomes hollow. It's not until you have the steak, chips and vegetables that you realise how good the meal is.
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Not really. It starts to become hollow because you think it should be something more than just sex between the two people. If the person is happy eating steak then let them eat steak.

So an incomplete meal to you is a complete meal for others. You still have the impression that sex SHOULD include emotional attachement. If others dont have that impression and can quite happily keep the 2 separate then its not a problem.

Equating Sex with Love. They have nothing to do with each other.

Plenty of ppl have emotional attachments without wanting to have sex with those people. And plenty of people have sex without wanting to have emotional attachments with the sex partner.

Wanting to have sex with someone is more to do with what you want -being compatible with - what their desires are.

Its not about you both liking each other's personality, having things in common, wanting to build a life together etc.

I like ice-cream and if someone likes giving me ice-cream - who am i to say no? :D
 
Even if I was single I don't think it would be for me. I know I'd get too attached after a while.
 
Surfer said:
Equating Sex with Love. They have nothing to do with each other.

Plenty of ppl have emotional attachments without wanting to have sex with those people. And plenty of people have sex without wanting to have emotional attachments with the sex partner.

Wanting to have sex with someone is more to do with what you want -being compatible with - what their desires are.

I like ice-cream and if someone likes giving me ice-cream - who am i to say no? :D
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Not all types of love have anything to do with sex, but the love between man and wife/gf/bf has a lot to do with sex. It would be difficult (note: not impossible) for a relationship of this type to continue without sex. For both men and women sex can be a way of showing love and affection as well has having a bloody fun time.

I say again. Steak is great. I love steak but steak is better when it is with a complete meal.

Sure you can have good sex without any strings but you have to be careful as somebody could get emotionally attached despite any platitudes they may give about not getting involved emotionally.

I have no problems with a "just sex" relationship I just happen to prefer deep emotional contact with the person I am having sex with and I also know how badly people can get hurt when it goes wrong.
 
hehe, didnt think it would cause this much of a discussion.

i was really just interested in peoples thoughts as i have been going through something similar and i got to the point where i was in over my head to be honest. i'm not someone who can do casual so i was just curious as to whether it's just me.
 
[DW]Muffin;10565211 said:
I had a 'just sex' relationship with my ex, didn't have any sex though.
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:D ROFL - It wasn't my wife was it?

As said before, what turns out as just casual sex, soon turns into an emotional rollercoaster which can have it's own implications.
 
I dont buy into it and tend to avoid it because generally because someone will end up getting hurt. Not that it matters now as Im practically married.
 
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