There are various approaches, some involving 3rd party software of varying degrees of how much you can trust it.
Neil posted this link the other day
https://www.windowscentral.com/how-stop-updates-installing-automatically-windows-10 I've not tried all those methods yet.
I've never found an ideal solution for 10 - but I like to have security updates fairly timely but complete control over when the system reboots and feature updates at my leisure without too much messing about - Windows 10 is completely trash in that respect and I don't think it an unreasonable expectation.