Warrent out for ********
- Thread starter [TFU] Thegoon84
- Start date
i'll get my goat
Just made me laugh out loud in a quiet office, genius.
Man of Honour
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Phew that's a relief, now my donkey doesn't have to take the top bunk and and can go back outside. Every night, such a hassle to push him up the ladder.
the mane thing is he cant do it again!..........
i'll get my goat
He’ll be an ass if he tries it again.
It'll be a neigh on impossible where he's going!
Soldato
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beastiality is a sin
Soldato
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Soldato
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This story has reminded me of a story my parents told me from the days when they were both coppers.
Essentially called out to a field where there was some guy on his back, dead, blood all around the middle half of his body with his trousers half way around his ankles.
Turns out he was also missing his meat and two veg. After some investigation and what not, turns out he was a bit of a wierdo and had gone into this field to try and make love to the local horse.
The problem being, that when horses are....entered...they clench extremely hard (imagine its "entrance" clamping down on his junk like a vice).
The guy, being stuck to this horse at this point starts to panic, only to panic the horse too. The horse in turn naturally does what horses do and bucks. Problem being, this guy gets bucked away from the horse and everything gets ripped off. EVERYTHING. The horse that was violated also happened to have things still attached when they were investigating the scene.
Essentially junk ripped off, died of blood loss in the field. This was in the 70's so no mobile phones or anything. I guess he would have died pretty fast from loss of blood to that region of his body.
So yeah moral of the story, don't **** horses.
This story is true as far as I know it and has been recanted by my folks to a fair few people so I doubt its a lie. I guess coppers see some pretty messed up stuff.
Essentially called out to a field where there was some guy on his back, dead, blood all around the middle half of his body with his trousers half way around his ankles.
Turns out he was also missing his meat and two veg. After some investigation and what not, turns out he was a bit of a wierdo and had gone into this field to try and make love to the local horse.
The problem being, that when horses are....entered...they clench extremely hard (imagine its "entrance" clamping down on his junk like a vice).
The guy, being stuck to this horse at this point starts to panic, only to panic the horse too. The horse in turn naturally does what horses do and bucks. Problem being, this guy gets bucked away from the horse and everything gets ripped off. EVERYTHING. The horse that was violated also happened to have things still attached when they were investigating the scene.
Essentially junk ripped off, died of blood loss in the field. This was in the 70's so no mobile phones or anything. I guess he would have died pretty fast from loss of blood to that region of his body.
So yeah moral of the story, don't **** horses.
This story is true as far as I know it and has been recanted by my folks to a fair few people so I doubt its a lie. I guess coppers see some pretty messed up stuff.
Caporegime
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Good advice!
Your parents made that story up when you went through your "My Little Pony" phase & started taking them to bed.
Soldato
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Thanks for that. I was considering ****ing a horse, but you have advised me otherwise.
Soldato
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- 21 Sep 2009
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- London
What a load of "pony"
(Cockney)
(Cockney)
