I'm not married but have come close to it. It's not that easy.
You do have to please many people in reality - especially the dad who is paying the majority of the cost.
Wedding hints
- Thread starter NotAGolf
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I'm not married but have come close to it. It's not that easy.
You do have to please many people in reality - especially the dad who is paying the majority of the cost.
If her mum and dad are paying let her have whatever she wants.
If you are paying let her have whatever she wants.
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Just remember it's your wedding and it's not advisable to beat the Jones's.
If your future wife wants a £30 dress then do it.
Just remember that the £1000 wedding album will be looked at a couple of times before the divorce so instead hand some cheap cameras out to everybody.
I could go on but modern weddings really pee me off.
If your future wife wants a £30 dress then do it.
Just remember that the £1000 wedding album will be looked at a couple of times before the divorce so instead hand some cheap cameras out to everybody.
I could go on but modern weddings really pee me off.
Man of Honour
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You reckon?
I've been married 32 years - beat that.
I reckon I'm the OCUK Expert on wedding advice and how to keep it going.
We can all get married but how much effort do you want to put in?
I reckon it all goes wrong on the wedding day when couples spend silly amounts of money.
Man of Honour
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Ha that's fantastic - good for you
So heed my words, you know it makes sense.
In fact look at all the oldies who's marriages have lasted a lifetime and ask them how much they spent and it will go something like this:
How much was the wedding dress? - We recycled her Mothers and her Aunty Doris did it for free.
How much was the wedding meal? - My Aunty Sheila worked at the pub and got it very cheap
How much for the evening reception and where at? - Local Church Hall for a donation and the family did all the food
Where did you go on the honeymoon? - What honeymoon?
We had it right in the old days but now it's all competition on who can pay the most.
Whilst I partially agree with this. This is definitely not true in all circumstances and it goes both ways, people who have married in a setting as the one you described have gone through divorces too. You say you had it right in the old days, in the old days Domestic Abuse was also more common.
Congratulations. 
Choose what you want and not what your families or anyone else wants. Don’t spend a fortune on photographers as you’ll hardly every look at the pictures/video. Try to enjoy the day as it goes by ever so quickly.
Choose what you want and not what your families or anyone else wants. Don’t spend a fortune on photographers as you’ll hardly every look at the pictures/video. Try to enjoy the day as it goes by ever so quickly.
Do what you as a couple want and not what others tell you or expect is the best advice and it has been repeated over and over.
From my perspective I'd say be as involved as possible in everything that goes into the day that way it will be both of you'd say and not just your wifes day. Try to pick things that mean something to you both if you have a favourite cake shop get them to do your wedding cake etc etc make the day as personal as possible so it's all about you and you future wife not some generic magazine affair.
Final advice book the English Gentlemen the best wedding band in the world!
From my perspective I'd say be as involved as possible in everything that goes into the day that way it will be both of you'd say and not just your wifes day. Try to pick things that mean something to you both if you have a favourite cake shop get them to do your wedding cake etc etc make the day as personal as possible so it's all about you and you future wife not some generic magazine affair.
Final advice book the English Gentlemen the best wedding band in the world!
No it's not. My wife and I had a house and had lived together for 4 years before we got married. What good would wedding presents have done for us when we already had everything?
Money was much better and everyone knew it was going to go towards our honeymoon.
As for advice. You only need to learn one phrase "whatever you want dear!"
Women, despite what they say have it all planned out, from the dress to the flowers. It's a one off event all you can do is go with it and make it exactly what she wants, and keep to a budget as much as possible
I've just been to my friends wedding, who had also lived together for 3-4 years before they got married.
The way they tackled the wedding gift was by firstly saying that a gift is not expected, and the guest being at the wedding is enough.
however, if they wanted to give something, they had a system with the company organising their honeymoon, where you send money to that company, which then pays for the various activities that they'll go on.
I personally gave them John Lewis Vouchers, as I think they are about the best voucher you can give. They can be spent in both John Lewis and Waitrose, and also work online.
Agree on the John Lewis vouchers. When my sister got married they made a gift list with them which you could pick from to buy them, or buy them vouchers for them to then get what they would like. Worked well for them.
Congratulations as well!
Congratulations as well!
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Expand - why were they the best?
I don't think its crass to ask for cash- its more useful, but a donation towards the honeymoon would be better in my opinon: Honeymiles etc.
To be honest money has always been welcomed whenever I have been a guest and easier for myself to provide!
Better to give them something they want/need.
PS to Op: Congrats!!! And in my experience there are better venues in Essex
BB x
My advice would be that you shouldn't get in debt for it, or at least make sure its one you can and will pay off quickly.
Good friends of mine put of 26k on credit cards and loans in a effort to have a dream day, it was a great day. I think though that along the way to getting married it became all about the wedding and the "day" and less about them as a couple. 6 months later they parted with 13k of debt each.
Good friends of mine put of 26k on credit cards and loans in a effort to have a dream day, it was a great day. I think though that along the way to getting married it became all about the wedding and the "day" and less about them as a couple. 6 months later they parted with 13k of debt each.
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Co-incidentally, I've just got back from a gents formal wear type place and pretty much decided what I'm going to be wearing on our day in March 2013.
Advice for clothing, get your woman looking for dresses ASAP. Most places need at least 6-9 months, once the dress is found, to get everything ready. Men's stuff can generally be shopped for as little as 2 months in advance.
Don't spend too much money on it, it is just one day afterall. Do something that is special for you both and not anyone else.
Other than that, mine is 6 months away and we have very little organised personally so far. We do have a wedding planner who should be picking up most of our own slack to sort everything else out though
Pictures are also going to be important. Go on recommendations of people and view photographers work. Don't go with your mate Dave just because he has a half decent camera and will only charge you £50. I know of people who had their mate do the pictures and they never received them and after 2.5 years they had split up and were still waiting on them!
Good luck with everything else!
Advice for clothing, get your woman looking for dresses ASAP. Most places need at least 6-9 months, once the dress is found, to get everything ready. Men's stuff can generally be shopped for as little as 2 months in advance.
Don't spend too much money on it, it is just one day afterall. Do something that is special for you both and not anyone else.
Other than that, mine is 6 months away and we have very little organised personally so far. We do have a wedding planner who should be picking up most of our own slack to sort everything else out though
Pictures are also going to be important. Go on recommendations of people and view photographers work. Don't go with your mate Dave just because he has a half decent camera and will only charge you £50. I know of people who had their mate do the pictures and they never received them and after 2.5 years they had split up and were still waiting on them!
Good luck with everything else!
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We had them so obviously they are the best! Slightly more seriously they are very very good with a bit more personality than most wedding bands and they don't sound like a wedding band ie the Bass guitar blends in not thrumbs over everything like 90% of wedding bands.
I don't think its crass to ask for cash- its more useful, but a donation towards the honeymoon would be better in my opinon: Honeymiles etc.
To be honest money has always been welcomed whenever I have been a guest and easier for myself to provide!
Better to give them something they want/need.
PS to Op: Congrats!!! And in my experience there are better venues in Essex
BB x
The cash is pretty much standard these days I'd say 75% of the weddings we've been torecently have asked for cash/john lewis vouchers. We put a little note in the invite to say we didn't expect presents but if anyone wanted to give us anything cash towards our honeymoon was most welcome nobody complained and we got plenty of money to help with the cost of a holiday that we enjoyed far more than some new plates or towells!
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Congratulation
I have only a few pieces of advice.. Firstly don't let this take over your relationship with your fiancé between now and then. Make time for each otherwise it will just take over and will hit you both hard afterwards.
Secondly, don't let everyone, and this includes the bride, take over. Don't ride.. Be involved and have your say what you and your wife both want.
Thirdly and lastly, don't go mad. When the days gone it will be a memory so make it a good one by keeping your feet on the ground and keeping things simple. The more complicate and expensive things get, the more stress and you are less likely to enjoy the day.
Good luck
I have only a few pieces of advice.. Firstly don't let this take over your relationship with your fiancé between now and then. Make time for each otherwise it will just take over and will hit you both hard afterwards.
Secondly, don't let everyone, and this includes the bride, take over. Don't ride.. Be involved and have your say what you and your wife both want.
Thirdly and lastly, don't go mad. When the days gone it will be a memory so make it a good one by keeping your feet on the ground and keeping things simple. The more complicate and expensive things get, the more stress and you are less likely to enjoy the day.
Good luck
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Congratulations.
Two places not to try and save money the Photographer and the entertainment.
Good Photographers are worth every penny... Do the research.
Also dont scrimp on the evening entertainment, Its the part of the day mos of the guests look forward to, A live band are so much better then a DJ and again worth their weight in gold.
I hope its a good one for you.
Two places not to try and save money the Photographer and the entertainment.
Good Photographers are worth every penny... Do the research.
Also dont scrimp on the evening entertainment, Its the part of the day mos of the guests look forward to, A live band are so much better then a DJ and again worth their weight in gold.
I hope its a good one for you.