Reminds me of this guy, his dad was a window cleaner and once got a peak through a window at the hospital. Said the room was filled with body parts and promptly turned his whole family vegetarian.
What is your shortest job or role you've held?
Soldato
Were they previously cannibals?
Soldato
2 weeks and 1 day at chiquito during college. I did 2 weeks training and then 1 shift.
I fell down the stairs when I got home from my first shift and got a massive carpet burn on the palm of my hand, so I couldn't work. I rang in sick the next day and then just never went back.
I fell down the stairs when I got home from my first shift and got a massive carpet burn on the palm of my hand, so I couldn't work. I rang in sick the next day and then just never went back.
Soldato
I was made Prime Minister 44 days ago. About 11 of those days I did eff all because the queen died, and then lol I took a couple of weeks off to go to a festival with like minded people. I even did an “open mic” where I got to say wong, wong, wong did you see it guys and did you get the reference? I’m now thinking if I should take my old job back as foreign secretary so I can give incorrect advice to UK servicemen about government support for them to go and fight in Ukraine! lol
Soldato
Yo Liz, Boris 'ere. Shall we run the country together for a couple of months? We might not get re-elected in 2025, but in the meantime, we can screw up the country further, just for teh lulz. And party hard! #partygate
Soldato
how long were you a broker in the pork and chesse markets, asking for a friend who is looking for a new job after getting sacked for saying bad things about Tofu..................
Soldato
Damn “big tofu”
I was only 16 so it was more blissful ignorance that I'd never had it / the thought disgusted me. I only learnt powdered scramble eggs were a thing about 5 years ago - equally disgusted. And egg whites in tetra Pak. Man. Processed food is grim!
Basically the gig @BUDFORCE tookImagine if you had been smarter, log all 37k in a spreadsheet. Then each search would take you 15 seconds to narrow to a box.
Few minutes work per week, pretending to work for the rest of the week
Permabanned
I lasted about a month as manager of the record department of Kendal Milne and Co. on Deansgate in Manchester, a prestigious department store.
The department was responsible for all the piped music played throughout the store, but the continuous loop tape decks were knackered with worn out heads and slipping drive belts. I came in for merciless stick for the unreliability and quality of the system, despite me making it clear the machines were worn out. I spent more time fiddling and nursing the damn things than keeping the staff flogging vinyl.
On a particularly irksome day when the absolute darling on the Revlon counter blew me out for the catering manager, the machines were doing their damnedest to drive me mad, and the floor manager was being singularly obnoxious, I had a regrettable fit of pique.
I put Derek and Clive on the best machine, locked the door of the tape cupboard, pocketed the key and buggered off out of the store for my lunch. I admit I was a bit tempestuous in those days, maybe still am, ever so slightly...
Apparently the outrage from customers and senior management was unprecedented and I was summarily dismissed on my return. The cupboard doors lay shattered on the floor, opened by security with a full size steel fire extinguisher used as a makeshift sledge hammer.
I'd long thought retail wasn't for me, but my late father thought it would be a good grounding. I never did tell him the full story of my sudden "redundancy", although he was far from humourless
I later heard that the piped music source was moved under the control of the highest echelons of management.
A few months on I went into partnership with a school friend and ran a service and petrol station in Northenden, and started my career in the motor trade, and never looked back.
I still think of that Revlon girl, God she was a looker (and a goer...) a marvellous combination
The department was responsible for all the piped music played throughout the store, but the continuous loop tape decks were knackered with worn out heads and slipping drive belts. I came in for merciless stick for the unreliability and quality of the system, despite me making it clear the machines were worn out. I spent more time fiddling and nursing the damn things than keeping the staff flogging vinyl.
On a particularly irksome day when the absolute darling on the Revlon counter blew me out for the catering manager, the machines were doing their damnedest to drive me mad, and the floor manager was being singularly obnoxious, I had a regrettable fit of pique.
I put Derek and Clive on the best machine, locked the door of the tape cupboard, pocketed the key and buggered off out of the store for my lunch. I admit I was a bit tempestuous in those days, maybe still am, ever so slightly...
Apparently the outrage from customers and senior management was unprecedented and I was summarily dismissed on my return. The cupboard doors lay shattered on the floor, opened by security with a full size steel fire extinguisher used as a makeshift sledge hammer.
I'd long thought retail wasn't for me, but my late father thought it would be a good grounding. I never did tell him the full story of my sudden "redundancy", although he was far from humourless
I later heard that the piped music source was moved under the control of the highest echelons of management.
A few months on I went into partnership with a school friend and ran a service and petrol station in Northenden, and started my career in the motor trade, and never looked back.
I still think of that Revlon girl, God she was a looker (and a goer...) a marvellous combination
Soldato
One "shift" selling gas, door to door, when at uni
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Soldato
Chilled foods warehouse. 12 hour shifts walking up to 25 miles a day. Lasted 8 weeks.
In terms of actually working a few hours in a place which produced packaging - there was so much particulate dust in the air I could literally barely breathe. I can't imagine those working there long term don't have massive health issues.
While a student I applied for what was supposed to be a data entry job at a large supermarket - turned out they were lying - turned up on the first day and was taken with a group into a room with a line of high vis vests, questionnaires and marketing flyers and was expected to go door to door - was like nope and walked out. Still got paid for a days work though. Went and worked at Screwfix in the call centre instead.
While a student I applied for what was supposed to be a data entry job at a large supermarket - turned out they were lying - turned up on the first day and was taken with a group into a room with a line of high vis vests, questionnaires and marketing flyers and was expected to go door to door - was like nope and walked out. Still got paid for a days work though. Went and worked at Screwfix in the call centre instead.
Soldato
I did 1 day as a bin man, wasnt physically strong enough to do a second day
Soldato
Also did one shift in a Hotel cleaning dishes with a giant machine in a tiny room and refused to go back after that, was probs worst job I ever had to do.
Soldato
Delivering Betterware catalogues door to door and collecting them in again with the orders. Lasted 1 day, well 2 as I had to collect them back in again the next day. Made about £8 commission from 4 hours work. 
Soldato
Remember to bring cheese and wine
Permabanned
Yet you stil do them the courtesy of calling them "travellers"... You are in an aptly named location
Soldato
9 months working on a seismic survey ship in the North Sea. Trips were longer than advertised and time at home shorter. When I worked out the hourly rate considering I was working 12 hour shifts 7 days a week, I could have earned the same money stocking the shelves at my local Sainsbury’s working a normal 37 hour week. I was also at sea on a dry boat for my birthday, Xmas and New Year’s all on my last trip.