What to do....mum having an affair

if shes still having this affair then


Zefan said:
You HAVE to tell your Dad, what would he think if he finds out and that the whole family knew and didn't tell him?
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it would ruin anyone if they found that out !
 
My gran called my sister earlier has said that she discovered my mum was having an affair and confrontered her, my mum apparantly was furious that my gran had found out and walked out.
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Firstly you have to ask yourself is this 100% accurate or did your mother storm out because your gran even suggested it.

Seems odd to me that nobody else even suspected it.
I would be very careful how you go about it if you decide to talk to your mother on the subject because your only going on hearsay.
 
Try to find out its true before acting on it, you dont want to cause bother and possibly break up a marriage over what youve heard off others.
 
I'd stay out of it, it's their life.
Older people may value company more highly than fidelity.

You Dad may actually suspect already, but won't actually want to confront the issue. Having you wave the issue in his face may not go down too well.

Old people do odd things when they retire, because suddenly they find themselves under each others feet all day.
You might find the affair doesn't actually last that long.


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confront her and find out the whole story, that is the only way you can let it rest. If she is being out of order then tell your dad and let him decide.
 
Is this an "affair" or is this just a sex thing? You'd be suprised how many older people happily let their partners do this, when one is a lot more sexually active than the other.
 
You have to speak to your mum about it, don't ignore it or it'll haunt you and frankly it's not your fault.

Speak to her like you always would, but basically state that you know whats going on and that your not there to argue about it. Arguing won't help anyone at this point.

Good luck :(

Most importantly if you need any help go speak to professionals not forum members, although I know a few on here work for the samaritans etc.
 
1) It is his business, as he is part of the family. It will certainly be his business if it comes to a divorce, won't it?
2) Two sides to a story there may be, but that's no excuse for having an affair.
3) No, it's not choosing one parent over the other. That, frankly, makes no sense.
 
as suggested I would sit down and have a 1 to 1 with your mum, say nothing to your dad whatever happens really because the picture you paint of him in your OP tells me it could tip him over the edge which would do nether him or you any good.
 
Basically, i think everyone can agree that you shouldn't tell your dad just yet until you find out whats going on. Can you be pretty sure she is having an affair ie. she been going out a lot to unknown places or work meals or something like that?

I think if you find out the affair is coming to an end and she did it just because she wasn't thinkin and wants to break it off and start out again, don't tell your dad, it might upset everything when things might have had a chance to get better.

If she mid-affair and no intention of ending, have a serious word with her about what she's doing and ask her if you found out your dad was having an affair, wouldn't she want to know about it?

p.s. i know a few peoples parents who have had affairs and it hasn't lasted for long at all, and now they're happy again (afaik)
 
Talk to her. Dont 'confront' her all guns blazing, you know the very very bare minimum facts if indeed they are facts at all. Talk it over with her, find out the situation then sleep on it. Dont do anything rash. Best of luck.
 
Your mum's having an affair and you want to know what to do about it?
You're just jealous, that's all. Be quicker next time.
 
Hey dude. It's definitely best to 'talk to her' as apposed to accuse or confront her. As for her affair (if there is in-fact an affair), you need to weigh things up very very carefully before you stamp your feet. Think of it this way, as has already been said, some people simply need to have sex (and why on earth not!, after all the urge to partake in the act of procreation is ingrained), and if this is being offered by another man, whilst the rest of the relationship is working fine (I.E. Your father - if he is kind of frail as you seem to be describing and is being looked after well) then I would suggest talking about this calmly and in an understanding and adult manor. After all, just because your father is of a mature age doesn't mean that your mother should be deprived a little romance.

Just be careful. If your dad is as you describe then the chances of him finding another mrs at this stage in the game are slim, and sometimes it's better to understand why certain things are OK, even though they are morally wrong.
 
vonhelmet said:
1) It is his business, as he is part of the family. It will certainly be his business if it comes to a divorce, won't it?
2) Two sides to a story there may be, but that's no excuse for having an affair.
3) No, it's not choosing one parent over the other. That, frankly, makes no sense.
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Its still none of his business and not his place to tell his mum or dad anything, they are grown adults and if anyone should be telling his dad, it should be his mum and no one else.
 
You do what your heart tells you to do. If that means not saying anything or discussing it with your mother then you do it.

The only thing I wouldn't do first of all is go to your dad with that information.

Do what you think is best.
 
InwardSinging said:
Its still none of his business and not his place to tell his mum or dad anything, they are grown adults and if anyone should be telling his dad, it should be his mum and no one else.
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He's old enough to know it's wrong, so why shouldn't he call them out on it?

By your rationale no grown adult should ever call out another grown adult on anything.
 
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