What would you call an average wage?
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Soldato
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I would say I'm starting to feel this, too. However, I'm 35 at the moment and realise this is my time to get to as high up as I can in my career. I would like to make sure I can have more work life balance in the future though. I got approached about a new role yesterday (I only took this one about a year ago from contract to perm) and while it would take me up another level at a really good company, it would mean significant travel (it's actually UK based and we're not interested in moving back) so it's that balance between my current long days (8am - 6pm, sometimes 8pm working hours), but at home, with no commute and even "post covid" my office is 20min ride away - vs. a lot more travel, time away from home etc.However I'm 100% happier with less income, my work life balance is better despite a more senior role and some non exec stuff as well. I actually get to spend time with my family which is actually worth every penny. I'm less stressed although sometimes random bills can come out and **** with that zen feeling!
This is also so very true. But at the same time you could argue that this doesn't always have to be the case. You could live in an apartment, in a cheaper area, have a less nice car, not go on as many holidays etc. but the fact is, the more you have the more that goes!
Soldato
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Personal circumstances are not relevant, everyone has their own choices and lives. Earning the same means you are starting at the same place.
A person earning more is doing better, the only exception are perks of the job. I.e. TFL employee's have free travel, my colleague spends £200 a month, and so that would be worth £3500 pre-tax.
Not argue, earning more does not make you spend any more, it allows you to.
A person can spend their money however they like. But you can never justify spending more then complaining X is not enough, if you are say, above the average even.
Tend maybe, but not a rule. I have done that in the past....but it seems a bit daft, especially with the stress that comes with 100k+ jobs.
We just about pull six figures household income now. No kids. No car finance. No debts. Modest house in the midlands with a cheap mortgage. I am much happier with this setup than when I was earning a lot more.
It is and you could. Some people I know conciously spend more as they get more other just seem to "drift" into spending more as they find themselves with a few more quid in their pockets.
People tend to live to their means. More cash. Bigger mortgage. I definitely agree on kids I absolutely would not feel comfortable with kids.
But 95k does sound a lot.
Our household is 69 with no kids (sounds a lot now) but with an 800 ppm mortgage it takes a chunk out.
Cost of living is disgusting. We have a decent 3 bed house but a mortgage of 215 ish left.
Bought in 2020 Feb this is now worth 300. If you were mortgaging with 85 ltv you'd be looking at 255 (another 30k of debt) vs a year ago.
It's a disgrace!
Roll on student debt ending this year!
I appreciate this is slightly OT, but I'd like to try and explain where I'm coming from. Firstly, I am not being disparaging to your parenting and upbringing skills at all, mankind has been bringing up children successfully for....the whole of human history
But, just in the same way our knowledge in all areas of life continually improve over time, the same is with child development. For example, my partner owns and runs a nursery, she has a degree in child development and 30 years experience. Her daughter, who works there, has just done a master's in child psychology. They also both are regularly doing CPD/training and research as this is an area that has had a lot of research and money invested in it at Govt and academic levels for years now since they realise how important these foundation years are for a person's overall development. Do you think you have the same knowledge and understanding as them? Of course you don't and no-one would expect you to. For example, she's currently reading a book called The Whole-Brain child, which is about understanding the different developmental areas of a childs brain (logic, emotion, memory, instinct) and how to develop these in balance, which is the key. Funnily enough she was saying how parents will generally just focus on the logic side, how well they develop at doing tasks, which is just what you posted - your daughter could ride a bike, swim etc. But would you be able to assess her emotional development and know what to do there? There is so much more going on than just their 'abilities'
A simple analogy I like to use is anyone can put a plant in the garden and as long as they don't abuse or neglect it it will grow and you'll have a nice garden (depending how much weeding you do
). But an expert grower will understand the unique requirements of each plant, what pH soil it likes, what balance of nutrients, how much sun/shade etc it needs and will grow that plant into the best version it can be, that's what I'm talking about 
plus they have the time to do all the weeding!
Soldato
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It's like you have to go up to the higher salary and more stress to appreciate life with a little less $$ but way less stress, to really appreciate that though. At the same time, be able to afford that. It's not like you see many people saying that if the numbers you mentioned were 1/3 of that you know?
Soldato
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Because of how expensive it is to live a lifestyle we'd like, renovate a house and bring up a child simultaneously, my partner and I have decided to hold off on children.
I do find it hard to empathise when people with kids complain about how hard life is financially or show any jealousy to the more material things we may have when they've put themselves in that situation.
We're both selling our homes owned independently to buy somewhere together, and that home will be ready for kids within the next 2 years we hope. Living in Guernsey it is nigh on impossible to have your cake and eat it, and do it all at once, we're both earning good money but housing and general cost of living here mean it's all relative - the 3 bed bungalow which we've had our offer accepted on is mindbogglingly expensive.
Edit:
Ahh, so that's what I am - a DINK!
I do find it hard to empathise when people with kids complain about how hard life is financially or show any jealousy to the more material things we may have when they've put themselves in that situation.
We're both selling our homes owned independently to buy somewhere together, and that home will be ready for kids within the next 2 years we hope. Living in Guernsey it is nigh on impossible to have your cake and eat it, and do it all at once, we're both earning good money but housing and general cost of living here mean it's all relative - the 3 bed bungalow which we've had our offer accepted on is mindbogglingly expensive.
Edit:
Ah, as my mate refers to as a DINK
Double Income No Kids. Basically the demographic he's most jealous of
Ahh, so that's what I am - a DINK!
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I found a weird blip between 30k (London) and significantly more (say 100k). At 30k you are used to not having what you want and getting on with it. Between 30-100 (arbitrary number) you seem to spend astronomically because you remember what it was like to be skint all the time so you indulge often. My savings went off a cliff the second I had a bit more coming in. I've only just 'somewhat' recovered the situation. I picked 100k because from then on you are battling a reducing personal allowance and therefore heavily incentivised to top up pensions.
I kind of felt that 30+ was the tipping point.
I've basically moved up from 28-44 in 3 years by literally just changing jobs and finding one with a new skill. So many regrets about my early career where I stayed on 24k for ages because I was 'comfortable' and liked the people. What waste
Since 30+k I've just put excess into s&s and other schemes. Never thought I'd be on 44 when I left England on sub 30 in 2019 to move to Wales.
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If you are mortgage free, have no debt then I am sure most people would have a similar outlook to yourself. I am in my late 30's and would love to be in a position where I am able to get a lower paying less stressful job that allows me to spend more time with family also. However having to pay mortgage (in London) and childcare etc is all very expensive and neither me nor the Mrs can afford to cut back on the salary, if anything we are trying to up it so that we can afford a move out to a bigger house
Not mortgage free but we're not paying high rates (recently re-mortgaged and saving over £500 a month!!). For 20 months it was all on my salary which was quite tough. We do have equity spread around though and stuff abroad (I'm a foreigner after all!
) but that's not cash, so I just forget those assets and focus on the current. We have 2 kids, so have some childcare to consider as well, and had a lot more to consider previously when we relied on childcare more. It does get easier as the kids get older. However, we only have 1 car, and only go on 2 holidays a year, we don't live a frivolous lifestyle.
I’ve stepped out of large corporate life for something that supports my work life stress balance better. It hasn’t impacted my earnings but just means I’ve more control and more influence and don’t feel the never ending burn. At 53 it’s about more than money and that ladder, its about setting one up for retirement.Not mortgage free but we're not paying high rates (recently re-mortgaged and saving over £500 a month!!). For 20 months it was all on my salary which was quite tough. We do have equity spread around though and stuff abroad (I'm a foreigner after all!
We have 2 kids, so have some childcare to consider as well, and had a lot more to consider previously when we relied on childcare more. It does get easier as the kids get older. However, we only have 1 car, and only go on 2 holidays a year, we don't live a frivolous lifestyle.
As I said I don't want to be crass. But I'm in my 40s with quite a long career behind me so I'm probably not the typical demographic.
However I'm 100% happier with less income, my work life balance is better despite a more senior role and some non exec stuff as well. I actually get to spend time with my family which is actually worth every penny. I'm less stressed although sometimes random bills can come out and **** with that zen feeling!
I've taken the same approach, after my op ets last year I've decided to cut my hours a bit, will be about 10k a year worse off but hopefully will have a better quality of life
I guess it goes back to the original post shared above; it is all relative. I remember arguing with a senior that I was happy and comfortable on 30k, and how could I possibly need anymore? I had also set the 40% tax bracket as a safety point. Not sure how I made it work tbf; I was living in Zone 1 at the time and have been paying for a car since I was 19.
I get the sentiment but folk should be thinking about retirement well before 53
Ah, as my mate refers to as a DINK
Double Income No Kids. Basically the demographic he's most jealous of
Ah, as my mate refers to as a DINK
Double Income No Kids. Basically the demographic he's most jealous of
It's the no kids that makes the big difference, for sure
And not having daft car payments or any of that. Student loan will be gone in a few months too.
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Its clear that you live to your means. I'm a professional engineer living in Chipping Sodbury near Bristol so not the cheapest area to live but also not super expensive. It feels like we are slightly above average compared to our friends. Our household income is 43k and I feel comfortable supporting 2 kids. We live in a fairly nice 3 bed semi and don't feel like we have to practically scrimp and save. OK we might not have the latest car or always go on expensive holidays but we still have a good standard of living. I know plenty of people supporting families on a lot less. The median household income is 29k which is probably a better indicator of how you compare to the rest of the country.
Ah, as my mate refers to as a DINK
Double Income No Kids. Basically the demographic he's most jealous of
Heard this term a lot. Not planning to or having any kids certainly makes things very different money wise.
Ah, as my mate refers to as a DINK
Double Income No Kids. Basically the demographic he's most jealous of
We're a DINK household that apparently is in the top 5% of earners, yet we are by no means well off, kinda crazy that 95% of people are plodding along with even less.