What would you do?

dowie · 27 Nov 2018 at 03:42

I think if you're going to do something then you either call him out directly as it happens or tell/warn the women. Just telling the shop staff is sort of passing the buck a bit, if they do something about it then great but if they don't then you've not really achieved anything other than perhaps being able to tell yourself that you did "something".

omnomnom · 27 Nov 2018 at 05:28

Yadda said:
Grass him in to who? The woman? Staff? Police?

All three

omnomnom · 27 Nov 2018 at 05:35

Just had a read through this thread ..what an absolute delight the Op and many posters are here. The lack of any respect for mental health is just mind-blowing.

dowie · 27 Nov 2018 at 06:53

Mental health isn't a catch all excuse, if you see someone grabbing a woman's coat and looking up her skirt then just because you have reason to believe they've got mental health issues doesn't mean you shouldn't either call them out on it or notify the woman.

Doug2507 · 27 Nov 2018 at 07:00

I'd leave it. If it bothers her then she can deal with it. If she wants to press charges then I'd provide a witness statement no problem.

Clearcut · 27 Nov 2018 at 10:02

Push him my phone.

MikeTheNative · 27 Nov 2018 at 10:09

I would do what is the correct thing these days. Film it and upload to social media. Cause a massive fuss and reap the appearances on day time television.

Yadda · 27 Nov 2018 at 10:28

JBuk said:
"We’re"

You and mental health guy?

Sorry mate, you've lost me there. Edit: Now I get you. Lol, yes he's sat on my lap.

robin66 said:
You winked at him and then bought him a tea or coffee?

I think he'd had quite enough coffee!

dowie said:
I think if you're going to do something then you either call him out directly as it happens or tell/warn the women. Just telling the shop staff is sort of passing the buck a bit, if they do something about it then great but if they don't then you've not really achieved anything other than perhaps being able to tell yourself that you did "something".

Lol, that's one way of looking at it. Cheers Dowie.

omnomnom said:
All three

Fair enough, that's an option. Personally I think reporting him to the Police would have been an over-reaction. I did consider it but considering the chap's mental state and the relatively harmless consequences of what he did, I decided against it. Obviously if he'd done something more serious then I'd have reported him immediately.

omnomnom said:
Just had a read through this thread ..what an absolute delight the Op and many posters are here. The lack of any respect for mental health is just mind-blowing.

Sorry if it upset you.

MikeTheNative · 27 Nov 2018 at 10:29

Lets be honest here. This is GD, what actual happens is you say nothing as the outside world is scary then go home and post about it on GD.

Yadda · 27 Nov 2018 at 10:31

MikeTheNative said:
Lets be honest here. This is GD, what actual happens is you say nothing as the outside world is scary then go home and post about it on GD.

We're not all like that!

wildman · 27 Nov 2018 at 13:10

Yadda said:
You're sat in a high street coffee shop. It's fairly busy and on the next table facing you sat alone is a man in his late 60's with obvious mental health issues. He is constantly twitching, gurning, making odd gestures with his hands and arms and talking to himself. Also, beside his table is a wheeled walking frame, the type with handlebars and a brake. He has no drink on his table and you get the impression that he's possibly a regular who the shop's staff feel sympathy for.

Two women arrive at the table directly across from his table and as one of them stands with her back to him, about to take her mid-length coat off, unknown to her but in full view to you, in a split second he reaches across, lifts the back of her coat and possibly skirt, leans over and appears to look up her skirt.

What would you do?

ask him "thong or apple catchers ?", then go back to my overpriced hipster chailattefrappamochacappcucioniata concoction

FortuitousFluke · 27 Nov 2018 at 13:15

bainbridge said:
I'd probably do nothing, feel guilty and end up posting about it on a forum.

Or possibly, get called out for being a massive perve, get all self righteous about it, cause a huge scene in my local Costa and post on a forum so people can tell me it's okay to have a cheeky peek now and then, but in a covert kind of way just in case.

Yadda · 27 Nov 2018 at 13:17

wildman said:
ask him "thong or apple catchers ?", then go back to my overpriced hipster chailattefrappamochacappcucioniata concoction

Haha.

(I had a simple flat white, although the barrista was obviously very keen - she did some lovely "latte art" on my cuppa).

FortuitousFluke said:
Or possibly, get called out for being a massive perve, get all self righteous about it, cause a huge scene in my local Costa and post on a forum so people can tell me it's okay to have a cheeky peek now and then, but in a covert kind of way just in case.

Lol, I like it but you're over-thinking it just a tad.

Moley · 27 Nov 2018 at 13:24

Orionaut said:
One of Thatchers bigger mistakes was closing down the asylums in favour of "Care in the community"

Why do people insist on blaming Margaret Thatcher for every suspect decision the Tories have ever made? It wasn't Thatcher who ran the Care in the Community project - it didn't even happen on her watch.

It was Virginia Bottomley as Health Secretary under John Major who drove the Care in the Community program in 1994 - as excerpts from Hansard of that year can confirm:
https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1994/may/24/care-in-the-community

Mr. Greenway

Is not it typical of this Government that they should put the vulnerable first? Will my right hon. Friend assure me that under no circumstances will dangerous people be released from psychiatric care into the community, where they could be a threat to others? Will she also reassure all elderly people that they will always have the hospital and medical treatment that they need, regardless of their age?

Mrs. Bottomley
We recently issued guidance on the discharge of patients from psychiatric hospitals. Patients should not be discharged unless or until it is safe to discharge them. We are also introducing supervision registers and hope to introduce the power of supervised discharge. No one wants to turn back the clock to the old days of incarceration in isolated communities, but there are psychiatric patients who need active support in the community; they need resources targeted on them and we seek to achieve that. My hon. Friend will be well aware that his constituents, like mine, have increased their life expectancy by another two years in the past 10 years. Some 166 16 per cent. of the population are over 65, and 40 per cent. of the health budget is spent on them—and quite rightly too.

bowey · 27 Nov 2018 at 15:35

Look up with him.

Yadda · 27 Nov 2018 at 15:39

bowey said:
Look up with him.

Haha, Bowey by name...

azazl187 · 27 Nov 2018 at 15:58

I would simply grin away to myself while lapping up the human condition demonstrated by the woman trying to cope in a situation like that.

OP you need to stop thinking like that, there is literally nothing you "should" or "would" do. Worry about things you can affect. Im sure any involvement you would have had will do very little in the long run.

Pawnless Endgame · 27 Nov 2018 at 16:12

MikeTheNative said:
Lets be honest here. This is GD, what actual happens is you say nothing as the outside world is scary then go home and post about it on GD.

Good answer but not quite.

This is actually a reverse. It happens a lot on Mumsnet/AIBU which is just an extension of GD. Half of the Mumsnetters post on here and vice versa, even though there are no girls on the internet

Yadda · 27 Nov 2018 at 16:31

azazl187 said:
I would simply grin away to myself while lapping up the human condition demonstrated by the woman trying to cope in a situation like that.

OP you need to stop thinking like that, there is literally nothing you "should" or "would" do. Worry about things you can affect. Im sure any involvement you would have had will do very little in the long run.

What do you mean "lapping up the human condition demonstrated by the woman trying to cope in a situation like that"?

Edit: I'm not thinking like anything. I'm not saying I or anyone "should" do anything. I'm merely asking for people's opinions. You know, like an adult conversation? It's really very simple.

Pawnless Endgame said:
Good answer but not quite.

This is actually a reverse. It happens a lot on Mumsnet/AIBU which is just an extension of GD. Half of the Mumsnetters post on here and vice versa, even though there are no girls on the internet

I've never even visited Mumsnet, if that's what you're implying.

It's just a straightforward thread about something I saw and I was interested to see how different people would react to the same situation. It's no more and no less than that.

I never thought it would generate such odd responses, it's been more revealing than I ever imagined.

SPG · 27 Nov 2018 at 16:34

I would mentally grade the buttocks on the aforementioned lady for later use, smile accordingly and be ready to defend the disabled persons honour with a quick "he cant help it" and enjoy the scene.