What would your reply have been to this.-

Wow!

We got married two years ago, in the invite we asked for cash/donations to help renovate our home, smallest amount we got was £25 from my 18yr old unemployed student cousin, most we got was £500 from a very close family friend. Both were received with the same gratitude and love for that person as we knew they gave what they could afford at that time. I was very surprised by nearly £2500 from a Little over 100 guests.
 
I would be saying.

I am not sorry this has not met your expectations. unfortunately due to the circumstances of the situation. I have decided to cancel the cheque and jog on, will not be hearing from you again...
 
BigBoy said:
Wow!

We got married two years ago, in the invite we asked for cash/donations to help renovate our home, smallest amount we got was £25 from my 18yr old unemployed student cousin, most we got was £500 from a very close family friend. Both were received with the same gratitude and love for that person as we knew they gave what they could afford at that time. I was very surprised by nearly £2500 from a Little over 100 guests.
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your smallest amount would also seem to be the average amount, if you've got a gift of £500 then actually your unemployed cousin was more generous than average and on a per person basis didn't give the smallest amount - some couple or family group will have as your average per person is £20 when you remove that single £500 gift
 
I'd not cancel the cheque, the gift has already been given, however (assuming it is genuine) £100 is already a very generous gift for a colleague, I'd probably first ask what others gave and whether they got a snooty letter too. If a bunch of people got letters then that person is going to be ostracized at work, if it was just me due to some inheritance and the perception of having money to spend as per that mumslink poster then I'd probably go and say something to the person re: their dubious sense of entitlement

Rifte said:
The whole wedding gift situation usually leaves a bad taste in my mouth as well. A couple of weddings I have been to have had a shopping list (with respective details to log on and order etc)with the green tree company attached. A list of items which presumably the bride and the groom want. Dinnerware, electronics and gift cards.

It puts you in an awful scenario where you do not want to come across as being cheap but its an absolute ***take IMO.

I have never been invited to a birthday party where I have been sent a shopping list beforehand. Some couples deem the gifts as a means to offsetting the cost of the wedding.
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pretty much every wedding I've been to stated they don't expect any gifts but if you do want to buy one then here is a shopping list, link to help pay for honeymoon, link to charity they're supporting etc..

point is it is traditional to buy gifts and lots of people do so, the bride and groom don't want 4 toasters and 5 kettles so a list is a good idea, though for a few weddings I've been to the couple had already been living together for some times so didn't want any gifts - two of them had a link where you could donate to a voucher to be used for their honeymoon another had a justgiving charity link for a charity run the bride was going to do as they'd got everything they needed
 
Skidder said:
Weddings make people mental. When I got married I had a pretty small wedding. Close family and pals but not many people. I didn't invite cousins other than a couple who are very close (we have more than 30 first cousins between us).

Having been pleasant enough as a guest on the day, one of my wife's Aunt's sent a gift of a cdr with pictures of her children (whom I don't know) and a poison pen letter about them not being invited and being able to copy them into our photographs.

In this instance I would ignore and never speak to them again (funnily enough the same thing I did with the wife's aunt after snapping the cdr in two)
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This sort of event sometimes makes me wonder if people have undiagnosed mental illness and don't even realise the absurdity of the situation they place people within.
 
I'm glad that a few other people are skeptical as to whether this actually happened. A made up attention seeking thread on mumsnet? Surely not.
 
A question for everyone... If you are invited to the reception after the wedding (i.e. neither the ceremony or the meal) what sort of gift should you give? My brother and I have worked out that getting to and from the reception will take longer than we will actually be there.

As for the original post, it reminds me of a friend of mine. He works for the local council and isn't a big earner. One of his friends was getting married. The stag was abroad and cost him four figures. Then he had to pay for a hotel room due to the location, among other things. As a result he said he wouldn't be giving the bride and groom a gift. In his wedding speech the groom actually brought up how tight this guy was for not giving them a gift. If it had been me I would have walked out on the spot and told the groom that our friendship was over.


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squired said:
As a result he said he wouldn't be giving the bride and groom a gift. In his wedding speech the groom actually brought up how tight this guy was for not giving them a gift. If it had been me I would have walked out on the spot and told the groom that our friendship was over.
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"Oh it's like that is it? Well, am I as tight that as that questionably young hooker you banged on the Stag do?", and then you walk out.
 
A cheque? £100 was a small fortune in the 90s.

Cancelling it seems a good option, along with a reply pointing out how damn ungrateful they are.
 
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