Why do people buy Rustlers microwave burgers?

[Akagi]

Okay seriously now, I bought a couple out of sheer curiosity, to see just how bad they are. Nothing, I repeat, nothing, could have prepared me for the absolute abomination that these people call "burgers"...

I microwaved it in exactly the way the packaging described, for the right amount of time, and it came out at a temperature not dis-similar to that of the surface of the sun, and smelling like an old shoe.

Now at this point, any expectations I may have had, were well and truly lessened.

After about 48 hours, when it has sufficiently cooled, I bit into it.

the "bread" is somehow soggy and rubbery at the same time, and the "meat" somehow manages to taste of something, while making me unsure of what exactly it is.

The experience was traumatic, and squealchy, and not one which I wish to repeat. Surely nobody buys another one after their first? If you are so desperate for a quick meal, at least buy something of similar cost which is vaguely edible?!

 

[Akagi]

It said 85 seconds at 800 watts, I microwaved it for 85 seconds, at 800 watts.

 

[Akagi]

They used to only do burgers and hotdogs when I last ate them (agree they are horrid).

http://www.rustlersonline.com/menu/

It was this which I had just now. http://www.rustlersonline.com/menu/bbq-rib

 

[Akagi]

You're not the target market.

Try the burger again, only this time after 8 hours hard drinking / dabbling in recreational substances and arriving home to no other food available.

I imagine that there's a surprisingly large market for this sort of situation.

I imagine it would have been much better in such a situation. I shall drink myself to the brink of a coma and then eat the second one, but not today.

Damn, now I want one, that Rustlers Deluxe with Bacon and Cheese as it no doubt better than McD's beef menu.

It really wont be. I would class McDonalds as "fine dining" in comparison. The difference is night and day, and that is an alarming thought.

 

[Akagi]

Hence the abundance of kebab shops in town centres.

I do quite like kebabs, and the quality of your average kebab is far better, which is yet another alarming thought.

 

[Akagi]

I may try another one with the OcUK approved method of cooking... But I'm not entirely sure that I want to

 

[Akagi]

Only the working class buy such food, that goes for all takeaway crap...

Nice edit, I was about to get angry.

Only the working class buy such food frequently would probably be a more accurate statement.

 

[Akagi]

oooo I wouldn't want you to get angry now lol

That would be very working class of me...

I might just heat up the other Rustlers burger and throw it at you!

 

[Akagi]

A friend of mine lived off these for about a year and a half during the last part of uni.

He got cancer. No serously, he got cancer, when he told the docs what he was eating for 1.5 years, they were damn sure it was that and the chemicals in it that accumulated in his lymphatic nodes. 2-3 years of serious treament and multiple open surgeries and he was ok again, he eats extremely healthily now. They only performed so much serious surgery on him as he was a 21 year old lad so had a good chance to survive, and he did.

... Is this post 100% serious?

 

[Akagi]

I ate some cod tonight, does that make my a cod?

Yes.

 

[Akagi]

It is probably because of all the chemicals that are typically in meat, rather than specifically Rustlers burgers though. I expect the outcome would have been similar if he ordered McDonalds burgers every day.

 

[Akagi]

And this was caused by a microwave burger?

A single microwave burger. *nods*

 

[Akagi]

Did the guy who did the "Supersize Me Experiment" not get told by end if he keep going he would die soon?

I believe he did. Was he eating supersize once a day, or breakfast lunch and dinner? I cant remember.

 

[Akagi]

- He must fully eat three McDonald's meals per day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

- He must consume every item on the McDonald's menu at least once over the course of the 30 days (he managed this in nine days).

- He must only ingest items that are offered on the McDonald's menu, including bottled water. All outside consumption of food is prohibited.

- He must Super Size the meal when offered, but only when offered (i.e., he is not able to Super Size items himself) (Spurlock was offered 9 times; 5 of them were in Texas).

- He will attempt to walk about as much as a typical U.S citizen, based on a suggested figure of 5,000 standardized distance steps per day,[8] but he did not closely adhere to this, as he walked more while in New York than in Houston.

After five days Spurlock has gained 9.5 pounds

On Day 21, Spurlock has heart palpitations. His internist, Dr. Daryl Isaacs, advises him to stop what he is doing immediately to avoid any serious health problems.

 

[Akagi]

When going to that much effort I think I would rather buy a half decent burger patty and a bread roll.

 

[Akagi]

Just set fire to it all and hope for the best tbh.

 

[Akagi]

I have stumbled across the worst possible smell in the world ever. Worse than the worst of poos, and rotting flesh.

I went downstairs and was met with a strong smell of slightly stale smelling Rustlers burger, cheap air freshener, and new tyres, and almost chucked up.

 

[Akagi]

Oh god, man up. It's just a bad burger, not a pile of dog ****. You're as bad as the people who say McDonald's makes them feel physically sick, like it's the worst thing ever. Way to over exaggerate.

I eat them because I'm a poor student. No, I'm not dead. No, I'm not fat. No, I haven't thrown up because of the apparent awful taste which is worse than any other taste in the WHOLE world!

It might actually make them feel physically sick though.

McDonalds food gives me an instant stomach ache.

I didn't say you were anything other than a poor student, I didn't say you were dead, I didn't suggest that you were fat, I didn't suggest that you had thrown up because of the taste, and I didn't say that it was the worst taste in the world.

Unsurprisingly, I would rather eat a Rustlers burger to a dog turd, though if for whatever ridiculous reason I ever were to devour a dog turd (what the ****), I wouldn't post about it on a forum.

 

[Akagi]

Ate a couple of them when I was younger, The most recent one I had was around a year ago, The burger was white after I microwaved it, needless to say I didn't eat it or buy another, I will never buy another again either.

Stick to drinking spring water.

 

[Akagi]

Don't worry it's just food snobbery. Apparently it's "cool" to hate fast food and only live on lentils and hummus in GD.

There's a lot of "my body is a temple" types on here. Fact is, when it's 2 a.m and you've been drinking all evening you'll find them in KFC with the rest of us.

Just to be clear, I'm not a food snob, I abuse my body because I am an utter clot, and I do love a take-away from time to time, and if I could do so without damaging my health, I would have them more often!

But that burger was several magnitudes worse than any take-away food I have eaten, including kebabs from the most dodgy looking of kebab shops.