Wind

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:12

I have a great appetite and high motabolism, I'm under my BMI and just 13% body fat, I'm practically the perfect shape and size for my height - I work on it with exercise and a good balanced diet.

So what's the problem? Wind!

During the day it's no issue at all, I can easily cover it up, my problem comes at night when I have to sleep with a women.

I'm sat in bed churning, tossing and turning. It keeps me up, I'm not in pain but I am uncomfortable.

This is a new women, I don't want to put her off by unleashing hell, I make several trips to the loo during the night and it ruins both of our sleep patterns. It's subconscious I'm sure because I'll randomly wake up as if my body has just stopped itself form releasing and happily informing me of that...

Does anyone else have this? It's very annoying!

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:17

mac1st3 said:
just wait till she falls asleep and let rip hoping it doesn't wake her up

They wake her up and it doesn't impress her, she's a light sleeper.

I'm quite verbal, the only positive is they rarely smell... but then I don't get 'BO' anyway.

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:18

J.T said:
Dutch Oven TBH!

Last resort!

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:19

Mat said:
Do you take supplements or have a particularly high protein intake?

Nope, I don't touch supps, my diet is perhaps quite rich in fibre though... keeps me regular (four times per day). I guess it could be that?

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:19

mac1st3 said:
just deny everything, pretend she was dreaming if there's no smell, there's no lingering evidence

The sheets blown off is more than enough evidence!

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:21

Knubje said:
Just suck it up, ride it out and man up! Soon enough you will be comfortable enough to unleash hell while she is about and all this will be over

It's not that, manning up would mean ruining her sleep pattern and upsetting her - I can't see how that would improve the situation.

Seperate beds, seperate rooms perhaps? ha, not good!

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:22

No-One said:
Next time you have a bottle of wine, keep the cork

That would end in manslaughter.

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:23

seek said:
I once split up with a girl after she started farting in bed. :/

I can't stand women farting, it's THE biggest turn-off!

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:25

mac1st3 said:
either way, it's unhealthy to keep it all bottled up (not literally ) can lead to bowel/colon cancer etc, explain it to her and see if it works hehe

I've tried the comedy route of pull my finger but I nearly followed through because I laughed so hard. Simple things.

I think I scared her by talking about 'that time' when I '****' on one of my ex-girlfriends by accident...

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:26

Viper² said:
How many women do you sleep with?

I'm a decent person; one at a time.

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:32

I was with that particular girl the longest too, it was a funny moment, perhaps not one 'for all the the family' but funny all the same.

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:33

mac1st3 said:
hahaha ahh yea, good times >.<

just try going for a massive excavation before bed, might help

I do, but I can literally go every hour if I try... the day they make fuel out of this stuff is the day I become the richest guy in the world. I have an endless supply.

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:47

My 'girlfriend' has her own house, she's not 15.

Bleek · 1 Dec 2009 at 12:48

HamZilla said:
There was a UK movie about a boy who couldn't stop farting. He had an exhaust pipe connected to him to carry the gases outside of the house.

That could work, so long as I don't pass solids that block the pipework.