Women...am i just being teased...and if I am does it really matter?

rossyl

rossyl

rossyl

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Firstly i doubt this will make me seem very "deep" more like very shallow. However, after a drought I'm almost gagging for it, I'm sure everyone has been in this situation many times...so have some sympathy.

Ok i graduated last summer. I'm back home. Most my mates are still at uni. Life at home is relatively dull. I start speaking to an ex-girlfriend. We always sort of jept in touch. There's still some chemistry there as i can tell from texts and phone conversations.

We meet up, things go well. She clearly does think i;m attractive or "hot" as she puts it. I put a feather in my cap, and return the compliment.

However, it seems now that most of our talk is done via text. Lots of flirting, lots of "when we meet..." etc. But she is always busy.

She cancelled a date before, and I was fine with it. however, I have now found myself always chasing her. Which obviously is not a situation i want to be in.

Anyways we were due to meet again this evening. She cancelled about an hour ago. Saying she was very sorry, however, it was a situation has arisen that cannot be avoided and she'll try and rearrange. I was quite annoyed so didn't respond. She now text me saying she is really sorry, i deserve an explanation and will get one.

Now do I just say...yeah that's fine. Or say ok tell me what's up later.

What it comes down to is this. If it was not for the fact I was desperate I probably wouldn't have been happy with the situation, and probably would have just put it to one side, as if she cannot be bothered to meet me I am not going to beg. However, at this present time I sort of am willing to take this situation but don't want to seem like a doormat or someone who basically jumps when she says so.

So what should my response be.

(Aplogies if this seems like complete utter crap, makes no sense, and is incredibly immature. i realise that all...I swear my love life is going backwards)
 
Play it cool and dont resort to begging etc. Just accept it and play the waiting game. however you say thats the problem - in which case:
...have a cold shower
 
play her at her own game - arrange a meet and then cancel first with a vague or no explanation.

See what happens from there
 
Sounds to me like she is insterested in you (or at least fancies you) but still trying to decide where it is going and if she wants to go there. What should your response be?... be upfront, tell her like it is. If she is still interested tell her to arrange a time/place etc for you to meet and tell her you want her to stick to it. If she bails on you again it will be up to her to do all the running and make all the effort and for you to decide if you can be bothered.
 
Don't really see the problem to be honest. I'm in a similar situation with an ex and she's one that knows how to play the game. Its an intrigueing battle of wills in the main.

Just play it easy. Tell her you hope that whatever came up isn't too serious, that you hope she's OK and to let you know when and where she wants to reschedule for.

If she's playing you she has to get back to you anyway. If she's not playing you she'll tell you when and where and it'll go smoothly.

No problem.
 
rossyl said:
If it was not for the fact I was desperate...
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She can smell your desperation & knows that she can do whatever she wants with you because of it. Get rid of your desperation elsewhere, plenty of munters will help you for the price of a few Vodka Ice's, then go back to her smelling of confidence & independence, see if she still wants to know:)
 
If you let her carry on playing her game it'll not end well for you. Either back off, or play her at her own game. JohnnyG is right, desperation is unattractive, confidence and independence will turn her head.
 
waited a good while, she text again.

I responded along the lines of what Gilly said. That if it can't be heloed there's not much she could do. Hope she's ok and its not too serious, let me know when u can next meet and we'll see if we can sort something out.

There's no point throwing my toys out of my pram yet. Althought when i do there will be grenades amongst those toys!

I hate being messed around. Its one of my pet hates, if someone doesn't wanna do something tell me there and then not wait till the day and give some half assed excuse. Just be upfront about it.

Anwyays we'll see what she says.

Women eh!
 
Confidence and independance may well just force her to have to look elsewhere too. If she's looking for someone easy to talk to and easy to get what she wants from and you go in all guns blazing you might just never hear from her again.

It also does depend on what you want. A **** buddy? A one-time? A relationship?

The first two are pretty much the same tactics from here, though the first have to be a little more detailed. The latter would require her to want it and you to be confident and relieved of your desperateness.

rossyl said:
I hate being messed around. Its one of my pet hates, if someone doesn't wanna do something tell me there and then not wait till the day and give some half assed excuse. Just be upfront about it.
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Women like that are few and far between and even then they all have their moments I'm afraid.
 
JohnnyG said:
She can smell your desperation & knows that she can do whatever she wants with you because of it. Get rid of your desperation elsewhere, plenty of munters will help you for the price of a few Vodka Ice's, then go back to her smelling of confidence & independence, see if she still wants to know:)
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totaly true, Q.F.T...
 
i know...the desperation thing 100%. However anyopne i am interested in will probably take effort, whilst i have good taste, its often high maintainance as well.

I'll see how it goes with her...it hard to try and play the big-ego full of confidence game with her. As most the time she is fairly honest.

I dunno if she's just taking the mick, but if she is its one elaborate joke. That i am not playing up to.
 
The other problem is that she's an ex & knows how to play you, and she seems that sort of girl. Just try & get it elsewhere as your wasting time & pixels on her:)
 
speak of the devil...the response.

"Its not serious, and i apologise for being a complete a-hole to u. i just hope u understand my explanation when i call."

Now I really don't want do "the conversation" which will last for 40mins (minimum) and go around the houses so many times it will wear out the pavements.

Now I could lie and say i'm in a pub, so just text me. (however she lives up the road and drives past fairly often - if my cars there she'll know i'm lying). I could ignore her call. Or i could do "THE EAR-ACHE!".

Which one. AND what should i text back??

This is actually quite fun...its like a game however I once again appear to be a pawn. However, I'm enjoying it aswell. I suppose I don't really have much emotion invested in this except self-satifaction without too much loss of face. Wow I'm shallow at times.
 
Nothing wrong with being shallow when you're not hurting anyone.

Tell her you've promised to go meet a mate and are getting ready but if she wants a quick chat then she can call tonight. Then you can quit the convo as soon as you start getting bored and have the gist of what she's saying.
 
Actually scrub what I said before. If she is playing games you are as bad as each other. Kind of puzzled as to why you asked for opinions, sounds like you are going to play the game until you get bored anyway.
 
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