Worst date ever - the thread you really wanted

Maybe seems like a fail if I was after bedding anything sure I'd of gone for it. But was serious about finding a woman and she wasn't for me.. Was a red flag about some of the stuff ud say first is all she sounded bit nuts.

Perhaps I was a little mad not to call and see if she continued the crazy but giving out my phone number and then ditching women in past has led to a lot of abusive texts
 
I just remembered another, although it wasn't exactly a date.

This goes back to when I was about 18 in the late 1980's. I was on myway home after work one Friday evening when a beautiful Italian girl stopped me to ask directions. She was looking for a nearby housing estate. I started to give directions but then said I'd show her the way. As we walked she was explaining how she'd just left her boyfriend and needed somewhere to stay urgently. She was looking to view and rent a room at the place she was going to. As we got closer I realised that the estate was well known for being extremely rough. So I insisted on walking her into it and to the door. Once there it was even rougher than I expected so I naturally walked around the estate and viewed the flat with her. During this time she introduced me to the owner of the flat as her boyfriend (I thought it was cute at the time... but looking back it all tied in with her emotional state). The room was awful in a terrible estate in a bad area.

After viewing the flat I told her it really was bad and she shouldn't stay there. It was filthy and definitely didn't feel safe. To which she asked if I wanted a drink with her. So we went to a nearby pub. She was stunning. Easily a 9 and with me being such a nerd I couldn't believe my luck.

Sadly as the night progressed it became clear that she had some psycological issues. She showed me scars over both wrists where she had tried to kill herself a few months before (not just light scratches but you could tell these had been deep). Apparently she's tried it several times. As the evening drew to a close she kept asking to stay at mine and kept saying how she'd love to sleep with me... I was getting more and more concerned as it was now obvious that she didn't have anywhere to stay that night and was clinging to me, a total stranger, as a last option. I was living in small bedroom in my dad's house at the time and I used that as an excuse to saying no (although he'd have been fine with it). After finally getting her to go through her contact book (this was the days before mobile phones) I made sure she called a friend from the payphone in the pub (as I said... before mobile phones!) and saw her into a cab to get her there.

Not that dramatic really but certainly interesting to go from walking home from work to escorting a beautiful foreign girl around a dodgy housing estate, being introduced as her boyfriend, spending the night drinking with her, finding out she'd only just recovered from multiple suicide attempts and trying to avoid taking her home.

To this day she was one of the prettiest girls I've spend the night in a bar with and I just know she'd have been great if I'd invited her back. But it would have been a real bunny boiler moment in the morning :eek:
 
Hades said:
I just remembered another, although it wasn't exactly a date.

This goes back to when I was about 18 in the late 1980's. I was on myway home after work one Friday evening when a beautiful Italian girl stopped me to ask directions. She was looking for a nearby housing estate. I started to give directions but then said I'd show her the way. As we walked she was explaining how she'd just left her boyfriend and needed somewhere to stay urgently. She was looking to view and rent a room at the place she was going to. As we got closer I realised that the estate was well known for being extremely rough. So I insisted on walking her into it and to the door. Once there it was even rougher than I expected so I naturally walked around the estate and viewed the flat with her. During this time she introduced me to the owner of the flat as her boyfriend (I thought it was cute at the time... but looking back it all tied in with her emotional state). The room was awful in a terrible estate in a bad area.

After viewing the flat I told her it really was bad and she shouldn't stay there. It was filthy and definitely didn't feel safe. To which she asked if I wanted a drink with her. So we went to a nearby pub. She was stunning. Easily a 9 and with me being such a nerd I couldn't believe my luck.

Sadly as the night progressed it became clear that she had some psycological issues. She showed me scars over both wrists where she had tried to kill herself a few months before (not just light scratches but you could tell these had been deep). Apparently she's tried it several times. As the evening drew to a close she kept asking to stay at mine and kept saying how she'd love to sleep with me... I was getting more and more concerned as it was now obvious that she didn't have anywhere to stay that night and was clinging to me, a total stranger, as a last option. I was living in small bedroom in my dad's house at the time and I used that as an excuse to saying no (although he'd have been fine with it). After finally getting her to go through her contact book (this was the days before mobile phones) I made sure she called a friend from the payphone in the pub (as I said... before mobile phones!) and saw her into a cab to get her there.

Not that dramatic really but certainly interesting to go from walking home from work to escorting a beautiful foreign girl around a dodgy housing estate, being introduced as her boyfriend, spending the night drinking with her, finding out she'd only just recovered from multiple suicide attempts and trying to avoid taking her home.

To this day she was one of the prettiest girls I've spend the night in a bar with and I just know she'd have been great if I'd invited her back. But it would have been a real bunny boiler moment in the morning :eek:
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Actualy in the morning youd have got a fake phone number and she'd have been gone.

You were a llace to crash not a place to build a new life
 
Unicorn said:
Iv got one which was very weird indeed and I'm a little unsure if I'll ever eat in said place again because of it.

I went to a restaurant to meet a girl I had met previously for a date and this was our second date. I was waiting about 40 min until I got the stood up text during this time a waitress kept asking if I wanted more drinks etc being nice. She then eventually asked why I hadn't ordered and explaining I may of been stood up she took her break and came and had dinner with me in some kinda weird I feel sorry for you date situation.

Thought okay she's kinda cute this may work out.. How wrong was I was about to become apparent

Starts off talking about ourselves then she gets onto the subject of how many kids she wants (red flag) she then goes onto suggesting we meet up again later in a local bar when she finishes and see what happens, makes one mention that she's just come off the pill so I'd have to suit up... She gave me her number and I said I'd text her a time.. The whole time I was working out how to bail and pay my bill despite the person I'd probably have to pay being sat opposite me. In the end I just finished my dinner and got a friend to phone me with an "emergency" I bailed and paid for dinner (including hers being a true gent oddly)

I couldn't bring myself to meet her again or even send a text (didn't want abuse by text) despite being nice looking I suspect she would pin ***** a rubber just to trap me. Seemed like she may of had a screw loose
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Girl makes responsible sexual choices...nerd panics and has friend phone tonsave his precious hymen
 
I went out with a lass in uni back in the day, had a bite to eat we were having a few post meal drinks, a little tipsy and things were getting a little frisky and certainly moving in the right direction. By happenstance a group of mutual friends showed up in the bar we were drinking in so we joined them and a few hours lately were both thoroughly hammered and feeling rather naughty so off we went back to hers.

Things are getting a little "romantic" in the bedroom when suddenly she rears up with a groan, pitches sideway off the bed and vomits projectile like all over the floor, wall and into bin. I was half naked and horrified listening to what sounded like a bear in a death match with a raptor as she hung her head over the bin for about 2 minutes. She finished, turned round to me, and lunged at me grabbing hold and trying start kissing again, she managed to get her lips on me which nearly made me vomit! I got her at arms length, she had sick down her chin, in her hair, looked glassy eyed and declared "I want you to **** me" I sat her down on the bed and made my excuses and fled (minus a shirt) and she was literally crawling across the room after me like something from the exorcist until I slammed the door on her.

The memory haunts me to this day, I saw her around uni a fair bit after the event and for 2 years she never once looked me in the eye again :D
 
Weston-Super-Mare mid 90's

Newish girlfriend ( couple of months ) and got invited to her brothers kids christening on the Sunday.

Only lived within driving distance, but decided to get a B&B in Weston instead and make a cheap ( drunk ) weekend of it.

Saturday we arrive,and i was ordered into Top Shop to get something 'suitable' for a Christening - I just said yes to whatever, as smart was not my style :D

Managed a couple of pints as 'brownie points' for going shopping.

Back to B&B, my first time to get my bearings.

Downstairs > Small reception > Sliding Glass doors to Breakfast area

Upstairs > Turn left > Toilet > Small corridor > Room

Easy, even an idiot couldn't get lost in here

Anyway, evening comes and out we go and hit a few pubs, then a few more, then end up in a night club, then a few blurry hours later some 'fine cuisine' and a Taxi back to the B&B.

Now, i have a weak bladder and a habit of sleep walking when drunk.

Back to room, walk straight past the Toilet, so a quick leak in our room wash basin was done ( couldn't be arsed to walk all the way back ), before sexy- time or passing out.

I vaguely remember sexy time ( as does she probably ), but passing out was definate.

Roll forward a couple of hours, semi -drunk, half asleep, and for some unknown reason i knew this house as my friends house.

It had a downstairs toilet.

Sleepwalking kicks in, i need a leak again.

I walk past the room clearly marked 'Toilet' and proceed downstairs, convinced that the 'boys room' was just under the stairs.

Unfortunately, as a virile 30 something, i had also woken up with mother of all erections poking through my boxer shorts.

I remember, trying to force open the sliding glass doors to the Breakfast Room convinced that the Toilet is in there .

I remember the manager of the B&B just staring at me, I remember the look on my girlfriends face.

I was a Dalek.
 
Haha that's a good one.

I have some to add, but it will take some typing so I'll tap them out when I'm at my laptop and not my phone.
 
I had a few bad ones from tinder.

1) used picurtes of her sister - I left
2) turned up 8 and a half months pregnant - I left
3) turned up wth two kids ( didn't mention she had any) a I left
4) talked about her period for 2 hours over dinner and how she was spotting ( which afterwards meant I was close enough to become a qualified Gynaecologist) - slept with her still
5) after three dates wanted to move in with me - she was hot but had to leave as too much
 
I got one..

In my teens me and a mate picked up a couple of Uni girls from the local establishment.. went back to their uni halls and started to do the business.. I had consumed a few bevies before hand but certainly was not drunk..

Anyway girl was cute but no means stunning... started to make my way down from the top down to 'that area' where I would seduce her with the art of my super fast tongue.. so eventually got down there took one sniff and boom...!!!! vomited all over her bits..

smelt like the combination of rancid fish and hot steaming poop nappy.. got up, got dressed and made some excuse about having a stomach ache and left.
 
enigma27 said:
I got one..

In my teens me and a mate picked up a couple of Uni girls from the local establishment.. went back to their uni halls and started to do the business.. I had consumed a few bevies before hand but certainly was not drunk..

Anyway girl was cute but no means stunning... started to make my way down from the top down to 'that area' where I would seduce her with the art of my super fast tongue.. so eventually got down there took one sniff and boom...!!!! vomited all over her bits..

smelt like the combination of rancid fish and hot steaming poop nappy.. got up, got dressed and made some excuse about having a stomach ache and left.
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GRIM :(
 
Yeah that happened to a friend of mine too. He vomtied in her pussy and she ran into the shower. He left.


I have only one story, I think, having been on very very few dates.

I went to Australia for 3 months during my gap year, which was great. In one hostel we stayed in I met a really lovely, beautiful, Dutch girl. I didn't think she was at all interested in me, as no one else had been the entire trip (bar a nice lady with dreadlocks actually, I liked her), but we all got drinking together and went out to a club and she put on this lovely white dress. Her friend told me this dress was brand new and she was really excited about it, or something.

So we were at the club for a while and she was dancing with me a lot, and it was very suggestive. But, being a young man with little experience I didn't really catch on to what was going on. I was probably too busy trying not to get a boner to notice.

We left the club at some point with one of my friends, and he and I decided that we needed to go to MacDonalds, which she was fine with. I think she ate something too.

While I was in there I had this amazing idea; I wanted to know what happened
if you took a pack of ketchup (the little packets where you rip off the corner) and smashed it with your hand. I did this, and ketchup went everywhere as expected really. All over the table, and the windows, me, my friend...and the nice Dutch girl's lovely white dress.

She was absolutely furious! She stood up and started shouting "YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR CHANCES! YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR CHANCES!" I was just thinking, "****, was I going to lose my virginity tonight? Have I just ****ed it up?!"

So we went back to the hostel, all the while she was shouting at me "YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR CHANCES" and then she just went to bed. When I got up in the morning, I spoke to her friend/room mate, who told me that she had just left and that she was extremely upset that I'd ruined her new dress etc....I felt pretty guilty, and sad for my penis. She was a nice girl.
 
dirtychinchilla said:
Yeah that happened to a friend of mine too. He vomtied in her pussy and she ran into the shower. He left.


I have only one story, I think, having been on very very few dates.

I went to Australia for 3 months during my gap year, which was great. In one hostel we stayed in I met a really lovely, beautiful, Dutch girl. I didn't think she was at all interested in me, as no one else had been the entire trip (bar a nice lady with dreadlocks actually, I liked her), but we all got drinking together and went out to a club and she put on this lovely white dress. Her friend told me this dress was brand new and she was really excited about it, or something.

So we were at the club for a while and she was dancing with me a lot, and it was very suggestive. But, being a young man with little experience I didn't really catch on to what was going on. I was probably too busy trying not to get a boner to notice.

We left the club at some point with one of my friends, and he and I decided that we needed to go to MacDonalds, which she was fine with. I think she ate something too.

While I was in there I had this amazing idea; I wanted to know what happened
if you took a pack of ketchup (the little packets where you rip off the corner) and smashed it with your hand. I did this, and ketchup went everywhere as expected really. All over the table, and the windows, me, my friend...and the nice Dutch girl's lovely white dress.

She was absolutely furious! She stood up and started shouting "YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR CHANCES! YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR CHANCES!" I was just thinking, "****, was I going to lose my virginity tonight? Have I just ****ed it up?!"

So we went back to the hostel, all the while she was shouting at me "YOU HAVE RUINED YOUR CHANCES" and then she just went to bed. When I got up in the morning, I spoke to her friend/room mate, who told me that she had just left and that she was extremely upset that I'd ruined her new dress etc....I felt pretty guilty, and sad for my penis. She was a nice girl.
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Sounds you like dodged a bullet to me, what a nutcase
 
enigma27 said:
Anyway girl was cute but no means stunning... started to make my way down from the top down to 'that area' where I would seduce her with the art of my super fast tongue.. so eventually got down there took one sniff and boom...!!!! vomited all over her bits..

smelt like the combination of rancid fish and hot steaming poop nappy.. got up, got dressed and made some excuse about having a stomach ache and left.
Click to expand...

hahaha! Happened to me a few times, never quite as bad as you've described though! Once with a one nighter and other times with girls I've been seeing for a while but I'm guessing they've just been rather sweaty on the day! I've never physically vomited, but I have wretched repeatedly and had to come straight back up. The question from them has always been "are you ok" to which I've always replied "yes, I just cant wait any longer."

Its the best way to not kill the mood or hurt anyone's feelings, which guarantees the shows over!

Some of the stories have been brilliant!

Who'd have thought a bunch of computer geeks could be such rascals! Haha! :D
 
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